In last week’s post I talked about understanding your beliefs in order to be able to change them. But there is more to do in order to replace old beliefs by new ones. So, today, I wanted to go a little deeper into our belief system to better help you to change your cumbersome beliefs.
As I mentioned in my post last week, there is no doubt that beliefs CAN be changed. The very reason they can be changed is because of this very reason, they are just beliefs. Nothing less and nothing more.
Tied Up to a Belief
In India baby elephants are tied up to a loose stump of wood large enough so they can move it and run away. As the elephant grows they are still tied up to the same stump of wood, but the difference is that they could run away with it just as easily as you could run away if you had a match tied to your ankle, but they don’t.
Why doesn’t the elephant run away with the stump tied to his foot? Because by now he believes that he can’t. He tried many times when he was little, and it didn’t work, so one day he stopped trying and started believing that he could never run away.
The truth is that those adult elephants are tied up ONLY by their own beliefs.
Did you think that your brain was superior that the brain of an elephant? Well, think again. Masses of human beings are tied up to their beliefs just like elephants to their stumps.
We see that every day, and the more you go to under developed countries the more evident this is. However, it doesn’t mean that our beliefs in this side of the world are al fine and good. Far from it. We all, as societies and as individuals, have deep entrenched beliefs that we would do much better without. But how can we change them?
Extract the Belief from its Root
Have you ever taken care of a garden? When you want to get weeds off your vegetable or follower garden, you need to take the roots out. If you don’t, the weeds will be back in just a few days.
Well, It’s the same thing with your beliefs. This is why affirmations (alone) don’t work. Because you are saying your affirmation, but the root of your negative belief is still there. Therefore, the new information won’t work.
Here is an example: Let say that you have a fear of public speaking. But that fear of public speaking is really the result of a belief. That fear is the “green part” of your weed, if you will. The root of this belief, however, is that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not educated enough, etc.
Those negative beliefs responsible for fear of public speaking will be there, as long as the root problem exists.
Beliefs Create Things
The reason why people trust so much their beliefs is that as per the laws of the universe, and particularly the law of attraction, those beliefs create things. In turn what was created reinforces the belief in our brain.
A belief is a thought which manifests into a physical form, which in turn reinforced that belief. That’s why people are literally prisoners of their own beliefs – just like the elephant with his stump – not knowing how to get away from them.
Deliberately Choose the Beliefs that you’re Holding
A good way to start doing this by becoming aware of all the beliefs that you have, and start deliberately choosing new ones that will actually serve you well.
Now, you need to realize that every single belief that you have were put inside you. You were not born with them. That’s why there have been some cases where people who were in a coma because of a head injury had awaken not only with amnesia, but with a different personality.
The different personality is due to the fact that most of their previous beliefs were gone because of the amnesia. This created a new person with almost no belief, just like an infant.
So, for the sake of this exercise, as you wake up in the morning while you are still lying in your bed, imagine that you had none of the cumbersome beliefs that you have and ask yourself the question, what would I do now if I had no negative belief at all?
As you’re asking yourself this question, you’ll notice that some of such beliefs will probably start coming to mind. Something is going to be nagging you somehow. This would be a good time to size what’s bothering you and try to recognize it. You know like those researchers who excavate a rare object from the ground, and hold that object up close to figure out what it is.
One of my readers, last week, mentioned in his comment that some our beliefs are so entrenched that they are not part of us, they ARE us. But this is another belief in itself. Beliefs are NOT us, and they can only have as strong old on us as much as we let them. Remember people who awake with amnesia? If their beliefs were them and not just part of them, they would die with their beliefs. We are way MORE and more powerful than any belief we may have.
Become an Outsider of your Own Beliefs
There is a huge difference between believing “I’m not good enough, “and saying, “hum, why am I saying that I’m not good enough?” Because, in the first case, you are basically reacting unconsciously to your belief, in the second case, you are starting to analyze why the heck you have such belief.
As you do this, you can start to analyze what emotion(s) is linked to that belief.
I used to have a couple of strong negative beliefs that I was able to get rid of just by stepping outside of them, and consciously decide that they were wrong beliefs. I realized that I was wrong the whole time, and it was based on the fact that such beliefs had been formed due to events that happened when I was a child.
You see, the danger about beliefs is that once they enter our mind, our brain will naturally be searching for proofs that such beliefs are valid. And as per the law of attraction, it will find them. That’s why beliefs are so hard to get rid of, unless you start to become aware.
Create New Beliefs to Create New Proofs
Our brain is a scientist. As we investigate our cumbersome beliefs, we can – overtime – eradicate them by slowly replacing them with new up building new beliefs. Once we give that new data to our brain, the brain will naturally starts looking for proofs of that new belief.
As it happens, your whole life that was tied up to that old belief while start changing, as it becomes tied up to that new belief instead. Yes, those are life changing events. When that happens, you’ll look back and won’t even recognize yourself.
In my case, for example, I went from being a very “emotionally needy” person, to a strong person that basically don’t need anyone to be validated anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I am a human being and I want to be loved, but I am fine too if I’m not, because my self-worth is absolutely no longer attached to what other people think of me. My self-worth is only attached to me, my higher-self and the higher power above me.
New positive beliefs are powerful. Don’t be tied down by your figurative stump. Get loose, and start realizing that you have the power to get rid of that stump, and see a whole new world out there.
I hope this was helpful.
Let me know in the comments below…
Hello Sylviane
Happy Belated Birthday.
What an awesome article.
I am with you 100% on beliefs and how they are formed, BUT that we have the Power to change any belief we are not happy with.
The story of the elephant is a great example of how we can be trained from just a small child to believe anything that anyone imposes on us. Oh by the way, I was just reading the same story yesterday.
One thing I always share with my coaching clients, is that if they want anything change, then they need to change the beliefs that create behaviors.
Like you I am DEFINED by my New Beliefs and not by the past
Sometimes people don’t understand that we are what we believe.
Thank you again
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Hi Gladys,
Thank you 🙂
Yes, that elephant story is so much the perfect example which illustrates so well how beliefs work. Interestingly, a belief is a belief and works the exact same way on both animals and humans.
Yes, many of us had to come a long way. I know one thing, I rather be older with my new beliefs than younger with the old beliefs that I used to have of myself. I never want to go back there. Ever!
Thank you for your input.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Dispose Of Those Old Useless Beliefs
Hi Sylviane,
I’ve been working on those beliefs for a long time. This article kinda goes with my recent article to on making their dreams your dreams. If there inner belief stops them from doing what the really want to do, people fail. And we can’t change them. They have to make the change within themselves.
Thanks for a very insightful article. Love the elephant analogy. Explains so well.
Barbara
Barbara Charles invites you to read..What If It’s Not Your Dream – My Dream is Success
Hi Barbara,
Yes, one thing is sure you can’t change other people’s beliefs. All you can do is try to help them on the right path, but if they don’t have the dream and don’t have the drive there’s little you can do for them.
On the other hand, when someone is full of hope, drive and dreams, nothing can stop them.
Thank you for coming.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Dispose Of Those Old Useless Beliefs
Hi Sylviane,
Well explained indeed 🙂
Yes, I know about how these elephants that are tied, and quite similar is the case with caged birds I think. If you’ve tied them for a long time, even when you untie them, they’d not go anywhere because they believe they are still tied, or perhaps they get so used to being where they are.
Even with us, especially kids, it’s the same case. When kids are small, and you teach them or tell them things that sets a fear in their mind – that will be something they will carry lifelong (in most cases) – unless they fight those fears and the deep rooted beliefs they carry within them. It could be any kind of fear – fire, or of the dark or facing a live audience, which aren’t taught but fears take seat in their mind based on what they see or feel half the time.
I liked the way you changed from who you were to what you’ve become, which only happened because you made it happen and worked for it. Similarly, I too strongly believe that things can change for the better if we are ready and want them to change.
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
Thank you 🙂
Yes, most of our fears and beliefs are formed when we are children.
The more troublesome the childhood the more troublesome the adulthood. Some to the extreme, but many of us still carry, to a degree, a baggage that personal development can help remove.
Thanks you for coming and have a great day!
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Understanding Your Beliefs To Change Them
A post I needed to see myself. I caught the last post and this was spot on. I have many things that made me feel a certain way and this really help shed some light on some topics that I struggle with still. Beliefs can be changed, this I believe because anything is possible, providing you believe you can achieve it.
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Hi Sonia,
Yes, indeed, everything is possible if we want it to happen.
I’m so glad if those post about beliefs could help you in any way.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Understanding Your Beliefs To Change Them
Hi Sylviane
Awesome example to give with the elephant story as it is so representative of how many of us live our lives. Chained to something we could move from.
I love your advice to become an outsider to your beliefs. It is so easy to think we are our beliefs and not be able to stand witness but when we do that is so different.
Certainly becoming aware of our beliefs is the first step. If we do not do that then we cannot change them.
Great post Sylviane. Hey how is the book going? 🙂
Sue
Sue Price invites you to read..Moving Forward: Accepting Change
Hi Sue,
Yes, this elephant story is often used when we talk about beliefs because it illustrates it so very well.
I’m glad you liked this post.
Right now I am completing my writing tutorial that will be my new opt-in on my writing blog, and as soon as this is out of the way, I promise I’ll get on the personal development book 🙂
Thank you for the reminder 🙂 and for coming too.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Understanding Your Beliefs To Change Them
Hi Sylviane,
Useless beliefs causes redundancy to one’s growth in all aspect of life.
Two vital ways to annihiliate such beliefs away are:
1. Keeping the right optimistic environment around you and this includes your friends
2. Learn to inspire yourself by listening to inspiring and motivaitional songs, speeches and reading like minded books.
Hi Dare,
Yes, keeping ourselves surrounded by the right people and evironment is very important, but it’s not enough to remove negative beliefs when they’re there already.
What you mentioned will make you in a good mood, but won’t remove your deep down beliefs. There’s the big difference.
Thank you for coming and adding your thoughts.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Dispose Of Those Old Useless Beliefs
Hi Sylviane,
I love the example about the elephant. I’ve heard it before and feel it demonstrates a perfect example of what hanging onto beliefs tend to do to us.
I also agree with what you said about affirmations alone not working. Lying to oneself won’t change anything – and in fact, can create additional resistance because when we try to do something and it doesn’t work, it creates further doubt that it ever will.
This is such a great topic beautifully demonstrated in this post. I too, write a lot about questioning our thoughts and beliefs – which in my humble opinion, have been handed to us from a very young age.
When we realize that we can challenge those preconceived notions that have directed our decisions, we are then in a position to redefine just about anything we want to.
It creates a freedom unlike anything else.
“Become an outsider of your own beliefs”
Perfect!
Dana invites you to read..Is the Ego Our Enemy?
Hi Dana,
Always nice to see you here 🙂
I remember the first mastermind group I belonged to where the “coach” of the group was teaching us about affirmations, but failed to explain that you had to BELIEVE them. I really wished he had told us that the same affirmation won’t work for everyone.
You say it so well, affirmations that don’t work on us because we can’t believe them, will push us further down. I know it did me. Then we start thinking, my God this doesn’t work for me! I even know someone which such affirmations made him bitter in the end.
So, that’s serious stuff, and we need to say the truth about these things.
As for the elephant example, it’s the best example about beliefs I know, I think that’s why it’s used so much.
Thank you for you input, Dana. Very much appreciated 🙂
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Dispose Of Those Old Useless Beliefs
The analogy of the elephant was great. I believe in the power of the mind and if used properly you can succeed if you get rid of negative thoughts, like I can’t. We all can change, it is a matter of do we want to, or is it worth the effort. I feel it is. Great post.
Hi Arleen and it’s nice to see you here.
You are very correct. We can all change, it’s a matter of how much we want it, and how much effort we are willing to put into it.
Have a great week ahead!
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Dispose Of Those Old Useless Beliefs
Hey Sylviane,
I believe we can definitely change our beliefs, I’ve known this for a long time now and some of my beliefs I’ve been able to change while I still fight with others.
You gave the example of speaking in public. I actually have a huge fear of speaking in public but it’s not about not being good enough, smart enough, educated enough, any of those things. Ever since I was little when I got up in front of people I just forgot everything I was going to say. I would even throw up I was so nervous and I have no idea where that even comes from.
I’ve never had a good memory so when I would study for tests I knew it all until I showed up for class. I would forget the majority of what I had studied so hard to remember which is why I did so horribly in school.
So does that stem from some hidden belief that I have because I’d love to know what the heck that even is. That’s one belief I’d love to conquer just so I can have that behind me some day. Not that I’ll ever get on a stage and have to speak but it’s something I’d love to do.
Thanks for sharing this and I can always count on you for solid advice.
~Adrienne
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Hi Adrienne,
First of all do not say never. You don’t know if you will have to go up on a stage one day. As a matter of fact, I don’t see things like you at all on this one. I think that one day you might. I almost want to say, you WILL 🙂
Adrienne, the very reason you blew it all up when you had to go and speak in front of people IS because you felt that you were not good enough. There might be some more specific hidden reasons as well, but the big one is “I can’t do it, because I’m not good enough.”
The reason why you think it’s not this, is because you don’t feel that way anymore, but you must have. What you need to find out is WHY.
I had the same problem. I had a horrible feeling speaking in a front of a group. That’s one of the reasons I went into Drama classes. Now talk about talking in front of people, even being willing to put yourself in somewhat “embarrassing” situations. Well, that cured it for me “somehow”. I can speak in front of an audience on a stage, but I’m still not super great in front of a small group.
You need to revisit these days and see if you can find the reason WHY you felt “not good enough”. If you want I can see if I can help you with this 🙂
Have a great week, Adrienne.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..How To Dispose Of Those Old Useless Beliefs
Nice post and the story of the elephant was perfect for this blog. It is bit difficult but if we try we can easily change our belief we should always be confident of whatever we do and remove all negative thoughts
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Hi Sheba,
Yes, it’s possible to change your thoughts, it’s not necessarily easy, though, but for those who really want to, it’s possible.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Where Does Intuition Come From And What Is Its Purpose?
I just loved this post. The story of an elephant was so apt to convey the thought. We follow a number of beliefs, without even knowing the reason behind it. It’s time for us to look for the reasons and follow only those beliefs which have a substantial reason behind them. Thanks.
Damn, Sylviane – you ARE good at articulating these concepts.
First of all, even though it’s taken me a couple of weeks to leave a response to this post, please know that I’ve read the post several times and that I really appreciate you writing it.
Like I said just a while ago in an updated comment on your previous post, I think I was having a bad week when I made my initial comment. Actually, I KNOW I was having a bad week.
It can get frustrating – you think you’ve made such great progress and you’ve left a lot of stuff behind and then – wham! – there it is all over again and it’s like nothing’s changed.
I came across a great quote by John Foster Dulles that sums it up: “The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year.”
But as I said in my other comment, I don’t really disagree with anything you’re saying.
Again, I truly appreciate this post – it’s helped to ground me and remind me that personal growth is a combination of persistence and surrender.
I have the persistence part down fine, but need to work a little more (OK, a lot) on the surrender part. 😉
Brad Castro invites you to read..Josh Ritter – Other Voices in Dingle Ireland
Hi Brad,
Well, I’m glad you finally came here if my humble post could help you in any way. Because that’s what we aim with our blogs after all; not the be the ALL knowing helping every single one on the planet, but giving a bit here and a bit there to those who needed this at that particular time.
I know what you mean, the surrender part is the hardest one. I have to remind myself to let be and let go all the time once I know I’ve done my work to my best ability.
Thank you for coming, and it’s never too late to come here, don’t worry 🙂 Have a great week!
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..What Is The Recipe For Success Or 3 Simple Steps To Get There
Very true. Our beliefs sometimes tie us down and therefore we must asses our beliefs if they are really credible and discard those that are not.
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Yes, it’s always a good thing to assess our beliefs and get rid of the go-for-nothing ones.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Why Does Successful Entrepreneurship Require A Solid Inner Foundation
I used to have a lot of useless and senseless beliefs that I am now starting to dispose. I guess the biggest factor that helped me decide on disposing them is the influence I got from my husband who is a non-believer of almost any beliefs.
Hi Alexis,
The good thing about disposing of senseless beliefs is that it makes us much smarter, and and let the intelligent being that we are grow.
Thanks for coming.
Sylviane Nuccio invites you to read..Why Does Successful Entrepreneurship Require A Solid Inner Foundation