Are You Afraid Of Letting Go? Or How To Trust The Process Of Deliberate Creation

If it’s your first time visiting a personal development blog, you might be wondering what is exactly deliberate creation.

Deliberate creation happens when you decide what you really want, ask for it, focus on it and let the universe do the rest.

Deliberate creation really happens when you have done all you needed to do – asking, visualizing and focusing and then let go.

Frankly, it’s that letting go part that is the hardest. Not the hardest to do literally, but the hardest to trust, because this happens when you totally surrender with trust that what you have been so fervently asking for is coming your way.

In this post, we are going to discuss why is it so hard to trust and let go? What should you expect once you let go? And how you can learn to trust if you have a hard time with this part right now.

What should you expect once you let go?

And how you can learn to trust if you have a hard time with this part right now.

Why is it so Hard to Let Go?

Let’s be honest, letting go of anything is never easy and I dare anyone saying that it is.  The reason why letting go is not easy has a lot to do with fear.  While you might be aware of the fears that lurk in your life and work on it, it will still not be easy to let go and surrender to trust.

This is why, even though we are doing everything we can to try to bring our dreams into our life, letting go is still tough. What if I’m wrong? What if it doesn’t work? What if…? what if…?

We tend to trust in what we see, but when it’s time to let go, well, most times we can’t see anything yet.  The problem is that we will see it only after we have let go.  Need an example of what I mean?

The first time I set foot into a real public pool I was around four years old and my mother being the good mother hen that she’d always been put that inflated ring around my waist so I would drown.  After a few minutes of trying to swim with that thing around me, I started to get really annoyed and wanted it off.  My mother first tried to convince me to keep it on, but I’ve always been very stubborn early on in life and I convinced her to let me take this buoy off of me.

My mother first tried to convince me to keep it on, but I’ve always been very stubborn early on in life and I convinced her to let me take this buoy off of me.

She surrendered and off went the buoy.

Then, I just started swimming toward the deep end like I’ve been a fish in another life.  If I had not let go of that buoy and if my mother had not let go of her apprehension we would have never known that I could swim that day.  To know that, we had to let go and trust.  I had to trust my feelings that I could swim better without this thing around me, and my mother had to trust the feelings of a stubborn four-year-old.  Then, and only then we both found out that, indeed, I could swim.

If I had not let go of that encumbering thing and if my mother had not let go of her apprehension we would have never known that I could swim that day.  To know that, we had to let go and trust.  I had to trust my feelings that I could swim better without this thing around me, and my mother had to trust the feelings of a stubborn

To know that, we had to let go and trust.  I had to trust my feelings that I could swim better without this thing around me, and my mother had to trust the feelings of a stubborn four-year-old.  Then, and only then we both found out that, indeed, I could swim.

This is just a small example of course, but you can apply the same type of trust with whatever it is that you want to do in life.  Just trust that you can do it… plunge in and swim and the water (the universe) will hold and support you.

What Should You Expect when you Let Go?

When you let go you should expect what some personal development mentors call the “waves of discomfort”.  This is probably the most uncomfortable time and even a bit scary sometimes.  This is a time where you might feel some opposition and challenges.

In times like these, you may feel that the universe (God) has totally abandoned you and that things are not doing better but worse.  However, this is perfectly normal.  Almost every time that you are letting go for a big turn for success in life, you are going to go through a chain of events that will be a bit on the negative side.

The best thing to do in such a case is the same as you would if you were riding a boat in a storm. Buckle up and do whatever you can to stay afloat and wait until the storm has passed.

The key here is not to turn on yourself with negative thinking. Do your very best to stay positive. Ride the storm and wait for the sunshine to show on the horizon.  Because as surely as the physical storm will pass, your own personal life storm will pass too.  And like there is always sunshine after a storm, there will be sunshine at the end of the tunnel for you as well. It must, it’s

Do your very best to stay positive. Ride the storm and wait for the sunshine to show at the horizon.  Because as surely as the physical storm will pass, your own personal life storm will pass too.  And like there is always sunshine after a storm, there will be sunshine at the end of the tunnel for you as well. It must, it’s

And like there is always sunshine after a storm, there will be sunshine at the end of the tunnel for you as well. It must, it’s one of the laws of the universe.

Ok, this is all Good and Well, but how can you Trust if you Have a Hard Time with the Trusting Part?

When I’m asked this question, I answer with a few other questions…

Do you really like your life right now?

Are you one hundred percent satisfied with it?

Isn’t there anything you’d like to change?

If your answer is no, then what do you have to lose?  You have ONLY two choices; you can stay where you are or you can change it.

I was not one hundred percent sure that I could float without that buoy, but I sure wasn’t happy with it and I couldn’t really swim with it either, so my best option was to try and see what would happen without it.

I wasn’t happy with it, so I had nothing to lose but see if I would be happier without it.  I was!

Let Your Dissatisfaction be your Trusting Guide

When you are dissatisfied with things, that’s your subconscious telling you that there is something better for you out there.  However, that something will rarely just land on your laps.  You are going to have to reach for it by following the steps mentioned above, and then you are going to have to LET GO to let the deliberate creation process do its work.

If you have any comments or question about this subject, be sure to let me know in the comment area down below.

You can request a coaching session HERE!

25 Comments

  • igor Griffiths says:

    Well Hello Sylviane

    I had to read your previous post, “What Is Your Job And What Isn’t When It Comes To Manifest What You Want” as I did not have a clue what to make of this post, thankfully it all makes sense now.

    Focus on your vision and allow the universe to deliver the opportunities which you will spot if you are truly focused on what you desire.

    igor Griffiths

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Igor,

      I’m glad that you’ve got acquainted with my blog and enjoyed learning about this topic.

      I hope you’ll be back soon for some more mind opening materials about our subconscious mind and the law of attraction.

  • Harleena SinghTwitter: harleenas says:

    Wonderful post Sylviane!

    You are absolutely right about the fear that we have within us, which is why we aren’t able to let go. And you explained it so well in your own life example of the swimming pool. It is a fact that had you not let go of that buoy around your waist, you would never have know how to swim.

    I guess without your moms trust in you, that you can do it, and without you overcoming your fears, all this wouldn’t have been possible. Besides this, you also need a lot of will power and take that deliberate step to face the unknown, to take risks and face such challenges if you really want to achieve results.

    Yes indeed, all of us are given two choices – either to accept life as it is and carry on living life as you are, or step forward and make an attempt to change life. It all depends on what you really want.

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂
    Harleena Singh invites you to read..Should You Change Your LifeMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Harleena,

      I’m sorry for the late approval of your comment, but it got hidden, somehow, in what I call the lala land of comment moderation 🙂

      As I was telling to Donna, life is a big story of letting go, we have to let go of everything, eventually… our childhood, our youth, our children, our parents and eventually our own very lives as we know it. Our joy depends a lot on how we are able to let go and move on.

      Thanks for your imput, Harleena

  • AdrienneTwitter: adriennesmith40 says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    I love this topic!

    I’ve been able to do this but what I do is I still thank God everyday for bringing this into my life. I celebrate it and get all excited about it. I don’t dwell on anything so sure hope I’m continuing to take the right steps.

    All I know is that each day I wake up just excited and happy. I’m leaving it up to the big man upstairs to bring it into my life when he sees fit.

    🙂 Enjoy your day!

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne invites you to read..Excuse Me But I Am A Little ConfusedMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Adrienne,

      Being grateful is very important. I thank God each and everyday as well. I am ALWAYS very conscious of this. The more you are thankful the more God/Universe brings to you. That’s even mentioned in the Bible 🙂

      Thank you for your input as always, Adrienne.

  • Ken Pickard says:

    Syliviane,

    I love the personal story you shared in this post. Interesting that you were the one ready to let go and your mom was a little more apprehensive. But isn’t that so true…

    My kids were always eager to jump into things when they were young. The “No Fear” stage. It’s actually amazing to watch…most of the time.

    What I like about this post is how we can take these memories and tap into them when needed. Often times we limit our potential with damaging self talk and limiting beliefs. This ability to let go is certainly not easy if we’ve been hurt many times over the years.

    But when we let go and really play full out then we can experience some amazing things. Thanks for the great post!

    Ken Pickard
    The Network Dad

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Ken,

      Yes, I thought that this personal story could help the reader understand the point better.

      Children tend to be way less fearful and more bold than adults, not only because they might be less conscious of dangers, but because they haven’t been “programmed” to fear so much yet. We need to be more like children.

      Thanks for your great input 🙂

  • Lynn Brown says:

    Sylviane: Wow! This article is truly powerful and strikes such a chord with me and I dare say, anyone else reading it. As humans, it’s only natural that we want to be in control — in charge — the captain of our ship. We wrestle with giving up that control, thinking that if we don’t “do it” (whatever “it” may be), it won’t get done (at least the way we want it to be done) & our chances for success will falter. But, as you so eloquently state, it is only when we do all we can & then release it to the universe that things will begin to happen. Those “things” may not always be warm & fuzzy, but it’s the scary parts that make the beautiful parts that much sweeter! Thanks for sharing such a thought-provoking and mindful article!

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Lynn,

      Always a pleasure to have you here and I am very happy that you enjoyed this article.

      It’s true that as humans we do like to “think” that we are in control all the time, but that’s really an illusion, that’s why “deciding” to release, actually makes us more in control.

  • Oliver Tausend says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    letting go is one of the most difficult exercises, I couldn’t agree more. We might decide intellectually to let go, but our emotions go wild against it. Or, we might decide emotionally to let go, and our intellect goes berserk. We can only let go as far as our emotions and our intellect allow for it. The weakest part will pull us back. I recommend to dig deeper than just the mind level in these cases: What memories are stored in our physical body that prevent us from letting go ?

    A word of caution when it comes to visualization: If we fool ourselves into believing that we have our goal already achieved, we might lose our motivation and energy to do what’s necessary.

    Thanks for sharing your insights.

    Take care

    Oliver

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Oliver,

      It’s true that letting go is one of the most difficult things to do, that’s why I wrote this post. Once we do, however, wonderful things can and will happen.

      Visualizations usually don’t fool anyone to the point that they will stop fighting for what they want, unless they lose their ability to reason “consciously”, but it fools the “subconscious” which is what we want.

      Thanks for you thoughts, as always, Oliver 🙂

  • Carol LynnTwitter: carollynnrivera says:

    What if what if…. that’s the question! That’s the one that haunts everyone, I think. It’s great that you remember that feeling of just knowing you were ready to let go of your tube. You were the fearless one and your mom of course was being protective. Not every mom would let go, I know that much! Lucky you 🙂 And it’s a wonderful lesson to take with you through life. You can’t let fear guide your decisions, even if you think you’re being protective or helping someone else.

    I think a lot of times letting go is more about emotions than physical actions. In your swimming example, you literally let go of a tube. In life many times we have to let go of things that are less tangible – let go of negative emotions, hesitation and doubt. That’s a whole lot harder but it’s the only way we can move forward.

    Your questions are also so important to ask: are you happy with your life? Is there something you want to change? I often ask people this when I can hear the negative emotions coming out. Are you happy now? No? Then what do you have to lose? Open up your mind and heart to change!

    As always, a thought-provoking post that really gets to heart of the crazy things we hold inside 🙂
    Carol Lynn invites you to read..Why That Whole “People Don’t Want a Drill, They Want a Hole” Thing Doesn’t Go Far EnoughMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      HI Carol,

      Even though my mother has always been extremely protective I do know that many times she took it upon herself to “suffer in silence”, so to speak and let me and my bother spread our wings the way we wanted to. That’s what happened in that pool.

      Letting go is not easy, but when we do it’s a pure revelation. When I’ve let go of some heavy stuff in my life, I always felt great, but not easy to do by any mean.

  • Donna MerrillTwitter: donna_tribe says:

    Hi Sylviane,
    First I must tell you that the same thing happened to me when I was a child. Reading your story I could remember what that round tube felt like, especially the rim..ouch! I kind of done what you did and I had to laugh out loud.
    Letting go is something I have practiced over the years. I know it is hard to do for people, but if they look back, like you did. If they remembered all the times as a child when they let go, like mastering a bike, swimming, anything they could think of when they naturally “let go” that can be linked to the present problem right?
    For me it is easy because I’ve gotten to a point in my life where my motto is like the bumper stickers you may see “Let Go And Let God.” I think that is an AA saying too.
    But for me this works because I have faith and like Adrienne said above, I am grateful!
    Being grateful is one thing I do as I awake, before I put my feet off the bed. I think of all the blessings I have in my life and I thank God. That mindset keeps me going.
    Thanks again,
    Donna
    Donna Merrill invites you to read..Why I Left The Empower NetworkMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Donna,

      As I was reading your comment I was thinking that whether we like it or not we have to let go over everything. Our childhood, our youth and eventually our life, as we know it. So, whether it’s easy or not, life itself pushes us to do so, anyways. All the time!

      Thanks for our input, Donna.

  • Nilesh Srivastava says:

    Hey Sylviane,
    I am visiting your website for the 1st time and I appreciate your way of writing. Waiting for your next article.

  • Felicia says:

    Hi Sylviane,
    This surely is a wonderful post. I have many times experienced this kind of feeling of being afraid to let go. There were many times I never did let go because fear overtook me, but I am glad about the other things I did let go and put it in God’s hands. The results weren’t exactly what I had imagined, but there were instances that everything went well, and I was glad I took that leap of faith.

    I’m glad your mom trusted you enough to let go of that buoy and watch you swim with your own strength. Thanks for sharing your story!

  • Roz Bennetts says:

    Truth be told Sylviane, I have less of a problem trusting when there is a real glimmer of hope and something isn’t pie in the sky. What I mean is I find it hard to trust something that isn’t really within my reach, or that would be very unlikely to happen, like winning the lottery. I have a much easier time with smaller things (some big things too) but always within my capabilities to attain with effort anyway.

    And if it’s something I want and need badly, I find it impossible to trust completely unless I’m actually doing something about it, or making the thing I want easy to flow in towards me by creating little paths of opportunity, I think you know what I mean.

    So not complete trust, but I do believe the universe works this way and things can just happen anyway, I just like to help them along a little 🙂

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Roz,

      Yes, I get it… it totally makes sense. One can’t trust to be able to do something that is so out of reach or may even sound totally illogical.

      However, this said…even those things can be reached, but not by all of us. NO. But by those who can manage to truly believe it. More times than not that is not possible for most people, only very few. Not because they are “special” but because they have an extremely strong mind and can bring about just about anything they want.

      Have you ever seen extreme magicians? what the difference between them and other people? Their iron mind! Do you see my point?

      Thanks for your fantastic input, Roz 🙂

      • Roz Bennetts says:

        Hi Sylviane,

        Thanks for your great reply, yes I get your point and I believe that real magic, black or white (if that’s what you mean) works using the same laws and the rituals are probably just there to help the magician ‘believe’, superstition almost, something we all understand.

        Fascinating conversation Sylviane!

        • Sylviane Nuccio says:

          Hi Roz,

          When I said “extreme magicians” I was talking about the ones who can put a cell phone in a glace bottle or walk on water just by using their “mind over matter” mind strength. those things are real…. I’ve seen one of those recently on YouTube.

          I’ve heard of people being able to move objects with their mind as well.

          Because of his extreme will and strong beliefs and mind late author of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill managed to make his son (born with no ear) hear!

          So, basically, there is no end to what the mind can do. Maybe that’s why Jesus said, you can make mountains move if you have faith.

          See, put all this together and you are a common thread!

          • Roz Bennetts says:

            Hi Sylviane,

            Oh I see, well I’m sure all magicians are tapping into the same resource (their mind), incredible, all of it.

            By the way, if you have a link to the cell phone in a bottle video I’d love to see it, those things just make me go ‘wow’. I saw one with a guy that put his hands through the glass of a fish tank and it really did make my mind boggle. :/

          • Sylviane Nuccio says:

            Just sent you the link 🙂

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