Why Do Some People Rub You The Wrong Way And What Can You Do About It?

Have you ever found yourself in front of someone you had never met before, and had that uneasy feeling that you couldn’t explain?  Some people just rub us the wrong way, while we can’t explain it.

Have you ever wonder why?

In this post I am going to explain why some people rub you the wrong way and what you can do about it.

What do we Feel when Someone Rubs us the Wrong Way?

How do you feel when someone rubs you the wrong way?  Most likely, when you are faced with someone who is rubbing you the wrong way you have an uneasy feeling.  In order to be the recipient of such feeling you do not even need to either speak or touch that person at all.  All it takes is to be in the vicinity of that person, and it’s enough to trigger the negative vibes.

We all have been faced with such feelings at one point or another.   Why in the world would you feel anything “negative” in the presence of another human being that you do not know, and who hasn’t done anything good or bad to you?  The answer is in the vibrations.

Do you Have to See it to Believe it?

As humans, we are raised and taught for the most part to understand MOSTLY the physical world in which we live in.  On the other hand, our none-physical or invisible world is not only very much misunderstood, but forsaken all together.  Yes, sadly, it’s as if it didn’t even existed for most people, and that’s what creates a lot of confusions about anything related to the unseen.

For example, there are high frequency sounds that you can’t hear, but does it mean that they don’t exist?  Well, if you have any doubt, watch your dog.  Now, you might believe that such “sounds” exist because you have been told or maybe witnessed the fact that dogs and many other animals can hear frequencies that the human ear can’t.

However, if we didn’t have dogs to prove to us that there are high frequency sounds that are totally none-existent for us, since we can’t hear them, would you believe it?  Maybe, maybe not.  The point is that it’s NOT because we CAN see, or hear something or even being able to prove that it exists, that it doesn’t.  High and low frequencies that the human ear cannot hear do exist.

You Can’t See Vibrations, But they Do Exist

We certainly can’t see vibrations, but they do exist.  When you find yourself in the presence of someone you don’t even know and feel uneasy, even totally uncomfortable, it’s because your brain is receiving the vibrations from that person.  When such vibrations are not a match with yours, you feel that the individual in your presence is rubbing you the wrong way.

Some people are more sensitive to vibrations than others or may even be more sensitive to some type of vibrations than others as well.  Over the years, I have become very sensitive to vibrations that emanates from other people, and to me it’s both a tell-tell sign of what they are sending out, but also what I am sending back to them.  Let me explain…

Receiving Negative Vibrations

As I explain in my giveaway eBook 13 Steps To Attract Success, our brain is a broadcasting device.  Just like a radio, our brain is able to broadcast energy as well as receive it.  One type of such energy is vibrations which are sent from one brain to other brains.  We can’t see, hear or smell them, but we can feel them.  Vibrations translate to “good” or “bad”, “comfortable” or “uncomfortable”, at “peace” or “nervous” type of feelings.  Such feelings are the result of what you are receiving from that stranger in front of you and what you are sending back to them.

Let me give you my personal experience-story with negative vibrations

During most of my schooling years I have been bullied by jealous girls who were dying with envy.  I’m not saying this to brag, far from it.  I was the only kid in my schools whose father had died prematurely, so any smart kid would have not been jealous of me (you would think).  But kids don’t think that way.

The reason why they were jealous is that I was just one of the tallest, best dressed and most spoiled kids in the whole class.  On top of that, I was rather a pretty girl too (even though I didn’t think I was back then).  That’s all you need to be totally hated by your peers when you are a girl between the ages of 4 and 16.  Some girls have tried to torn my clothes apart, scratch my hands and face, kick me in the butt, legs and ankles, and made fun of me in every way possible.  Bullying didn’t even have a name back then, either.

What am I telling all that?  Well, because of that early experience with jealousy I can pick up a jealous vibe faster than you can say “boo”.  My brain is so used to this signal, which I have dealt with for years on hand, starting at a very young age, that it sends me perfect radars.  Once I get the vibes of jealousy, even to this day, I find it very hard to deal with.  My subconscious mind tends to send me 20-30 years back in history and I always want to panic.

However, my more mature and educated self of today, knows better.  Once the bad vibrations have made themselves known and the “panic attack” has passed, I know it’s time to take control.  When I come across that jealous (usually female) vibes it’s up to me to change it.

How Can you Switch Your Vibrations?

The only way you can switch from a bad vibe to a good vibe is by taking control of what you are sending out.  Granted, you can’t get into other people’s brain and change their vibrations, but you can work on yours which will affect theirs.

If you are like me, when you are receiving negative vibrations you are in a state of panic.  It’s not getting out a house on fire kind of panic, but it is, nonetheless, a form of panic because fear is involved.  Why fear? Because when our brain is receiving vibrations that it translates as negative, it’s because our subconscious is feeling threatened.  In my case, a jealousy vibration will make me feel threatened and if I don’t watch my reaction I would find myself on the defensive.  However, I certainly can consciously change that.  But how?

When you receive negative vibrations, the first step you need to take is to acknowledge it.  Do not try to tell yourself, it’s just me or ignore it.  If you feel it, then it’s there, no matter how you want to call it.  The point here is to NOT let it affect YOUR own vibrations.  When you feel that you are receiving negative vibrations from someone, react by sending positive ones. (I am not talking in a case where you would feel in physical danger).  The best way to take on negative vibes from another person is by visualizing positive energy.

The best way to do this  is by visualizing a blanket of white light and wrap the person who rubs you the wrong way with it.  Every time you see the individual that rubs you the wrong way, see that light of good energy around them.  This action will trigger the energy that you are sending out in a positive way and eventually the other person will receive this positive vibe.  As you do this, try to smile. Smiling has a very calming and positive effect on the vibrations that you are sending out and it affects the recipient of such vibrations as well.

Do this every time that you are facing the person who you feel is rubbing you the wrong way and you will see a tremendous switch in their behavior as well as yours.  They may never know what happened, but as long as one of the two knows how to take control and is aware of what’s happening, the situation can only get better.

This is a simple way that really works for me to switch from a negative vibe to a positive one.  That’s how I have turned around situations when people have rubbed me the wrong way.  The secret to make this work is belief and action.

You turn now! Did you ever felt that some people rubbed you the wrong way? What did you do about it?

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14 Comments

  • MayuraTwitter: MayuraDeSilva says:

    Nice article Sylviane… I’ve had few negative moments at the work before I get back to my final year of degree. However it doesn’t come out physical. There I was just a newbie and after training, I’ve been appointed to work. I don’t know it’s right or wrong, but I was friendly with people around me. And I was good at work too. As I start being friendly and get more attention of others, I’ve got more people to hate me. Then I’ve got my sweet girlie there. You know, more rumors. Later I got to know that there were few with unspoken crushes for her & me too. However they never come out. I think it might be total jealousy. Afterwards I rewarded as the best employee of the month within 8 months of work. It gets worse even more. They just asked from managers “Why a newbie rewarded while there are more senior guys?”. I remember I’ve seen anger and jealousy in their eyes. I never knew some of them and they never told it to my face. I just see it and feels it. I don’t know why they just worry about competition among employees as we work towards same goal. You know, Absolutely I may have feel the vibrations 🙂 I was patient and taken control of my emotions. I didn’t stop talking and smiling though I’ve got little bit of anger on them. At last day of my work I just met them personally and said good bye for all of them. Now when they see me and when I smile on the way, I see their ashamed eyes and face down behavior 🙂

    Cheers…
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    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Mayura,

      No doubt about it, that’s jealousy, all right!

      What makes people jealous is deep down limited belief. When I was young and knew nothing about personal development and the mind, I was always wondering what jealous really was. Now, when someone ask me what jealous is I can answer them. Jealousy is a limited belief and it’s wanting what was never yours to start with.

      Jealous people spend all their energy wanting someone else’s life instead of improving their own. If the jealous person don’t wake up and see what their are really doing to themselves they are doomed to live a miserable life, indeed.

      What you did when you left was great. You did what we call killing them with kindness. This has more power than any mean trick of revenge you might have tried, and I’m so glad you didn’t. Great move, Mayura and good for you 🙂

      Thanks for coming and for your feedbacks.

  • Carol LynnTwitter: carollynnrivera says:

    Sylviane, I have to be honest with you – every time you write one of these types of posts about energy, I start out being very skeptical. It sounds a little like voodoo and hocus pocus. Energy?? Isn’t that what I need for my lightbulbs???

    And then I keep reading and first of all your style is very compelling. I love the way you tell stories and explain things so that everything is clear and enjoyable.

    And then at some point I realize I’m hooked and totally buying into everything you’re saying. So I guess in the “points for you” column, you certainly know how to capture a person’s interest and imagination!

    So now that I’m a total believer, I found this idea intriguing. I do think the mind is powerful and so many things we learn and do are subconscious. I also think we can “program” certain behaviors into ourselves. I often think about the Buddhist monks who meditate and become impervious to hunger and sickness and pain. Imagine being starving to death or set on fire or something horrible and being perfectly calm! Heck, I can’t even be calm for five minutes sitting at my desk.

    You had the experiences with jealousy basically programmed into you, so you became sensitive to that. I can see places in my life where I’ve become hyper-tuned to people’s emotions as that same type of “survival” mechanism. I have to tell you I got plenty bullied in school but it was not for being pretty! I was the biggest geek ever and forget about clothes. Can you say polyester and flood pants?

    So I completely get what you’re saying about vibes. Some people give them off and you know they’re coming a mile away. I will have to try your idea next time one of those vibe people gets in my way! It’s a positive way of dealing with a negative experience and the practice certainly can’t hurt. Thanks as always for your unique insight!
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    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Carol,

      You are so funny and honest. But maybe too hard on yourself or you just became prettier getting older. I think you’re pretty now, anyway 🙂

      Since you are such a darn good writer yourself, I really, really appreciate your compliments about the way I write. Wow, I was all smile when I was reading this. Thanks you so much for your support. It means so much to me.

      Energy! Yes, dear, we are energy. As a matter everything is energy. That is one of the first thing you learn when studying quantum physic and meditation. As you mentioned that’s why some people can go through incredible physical challenges, because they manage to control their mind and energy so well.

      I think bullies don’t have to have a good reason to bully someone, they just need to be the stupid idiots that they are 🙂 Being the victim of bullies really affected me for years and even though I am much better now, I still carry with me a little bit of the scares, just not nearly as much though. If I compare myself to even only 5 years ago I know I keep progressing.

      Thank you for your wonderful feedback, Carol 🙂

  • Adam Alvarado says:

    Ah, interesting, Sylviane. I wish though you’d just use the word vibe, rather than vibration. Vibration just sounds odd, as if it were some supernatural force emanating from people or something. When someone is (or is acting) weird, uncomfortable, awkward, or out of the norm, they give off a bad vibe, and we pick up on that, since we’re social creatures generally attuned to the feelings of others. And when we do they same we give off the same, and others feel it. The key, then, is to be comfortable in yourself, and more comfortable than whomever you speak with, and to help them feel the same.

    Definitely something though that more people should pay attention to though, so thanks for the post!!!!!

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Adam,

      Thank you for coming here and welcome 🙂

      Well, vibration is not a weird word it’s used every day by life coaches who teach about the laws of the universe. Sometimes when you are new to these things, some words may sound weird to you, and that’s normal, but they are true words for specific situations. Vibe is really only short for the word vibration.

      For example, a feelings send vibrations to the ether. That’s why when you learn about the law of attraction you are told that what you think must be also FELT so the vibrations that come out of your feelings will attract their equivalent.

      Negative feelings = negative vibrations = negative results. Positive feelings = positive vibrations = equal positive results. The is a simplified explanation of the law of attraction.

      Thank you for coming and for your feedbacks 🙂

  • Sonia says:

    Well said. I can relate in so many ways. I have met a few people in my life and there was just something about that I couldn’t put my finger on, but it wasn’t a person I wanted to get to know and most times it ended badly. Some I have worked with and others just in passing that I never had to see again. It’s unfortunate, but this post really made allot of sense in why I might not of understood why we just didn’t click.

    I remember one person in my life that just never liked me for whatever reason and I eventually found out years later that she didn’t like me period and I never did anything to her. Funny, but the feeling was completely mutual, but her vibes were evident from day one and it was never the same after that. I tend to trust my vibes and stay clear of individuals that I don’t feel good about. I could be wrong, but I think its my own way of protecting myself.

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Sonia,

      We always run into people like that don’t we? We just don’t click. When I was younger and someone didn’t like me I always thought that it was because of “me”, that I was the bad person not deserving of being liked and loved.

      Growing older and more mature at least taught me that such thinking is just ridiculous. Now, when someone doesn’t like me I think that THEY have a problem, not me.

      I think that I am a good listener, I love people, I always try to accommodate others before me, and really get along with all kind of people. So, really if someone doesn’t like me, I now KNOW that it’s not me 🙂

      It’s just that some people have a lot of inside work to do. If they did they would start to liking people around them more. It’s not even you then don’t like, it’s themselves.

      Thanks for your feedbacks, Sonia 🙂

  • AdrienneTwitter: adriennesmith40 says:

    Hey Sylviane,

    Wow, what a great post and I bet you’ve got a few people hooked on this one.

    I now know about the energy and vibrations as well and I guess that’s why I’ve always been able to pick up on people myself. I can just tell if they are decent people or not.

    I’m so sorry you had that horrible experience as a young girl. I hate those bullies.

    I had a girlfriend some years back and of course she always had me check out the new guys in her life. I could sense whether they were good people or not. One of them in particular always seemed to have something come up whenever I came to visit. We didn’t live in the same state. He would be excited about me coming and we would make plans but for some reason at the last minute he couldn’t come. We emailed a few times and talked on the phone and I kept telling my girlfriend that something wasn’t right with this guy.

    The end of this story is that he was a con artist and wasn’t even using his real name. He was wanted by the police and had gotten a few things from her. I just wish she had listened to me at the beginning and that would have saved her all that heartache. Oh, and he told her he wanted to marry her too. I hate when people are taken advantage like that.

    Now I let those feelings just come because they’ve really helped me in life Sylviane.

    ~Adrienne
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    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Adrienne,

      I know that we have talked about this subject before and you have a very good judgement of characters, just like my mother did. Great gift to have.

      Myself, however, as I had told you once, I don’t necessarily can judge people that well, but what I do feel instantly is when the person has a negative feeling towards me. That I can pick up in minutes if not seconds.

      As I mentioned in my post, I think that such instinct was developed in my “being bullying years”. Bullying is very serious, you know. It’s being attacked either verbally or physically or both on a daily basis for years. That’s why I called my schools “my prisons” because my life there was petty much the one of prison mate, except that I got to leave every evenings.

      So, when you live like that for years, you develop a very strong sixth sense that tells you “you have a potential bully in front of you”.

      My last bully was very recent. I was 36 and she was 48, and frankly I think that the woman wanted me dead for being younger and more attractive than she was. You see I keep “attracting” jealous bullies pretty much throughout my life, because that’s how the law of attraction works.

      The good news is that since I’ve plunged into self development I learned what I needed to know years ago, and it stopped.

      This is probably the longest reply to a comment you’ve ever had 🙂 Thank you so much for coming, Adrienne.

  • Harleena SinghTwitter: harleenas says:

    Interesting indeed!

    Made me think of the time when I was bullied for some of the reasons you mentioned, though it didn’t last too long and I managed to handle things while there itself.

    I liked your way to deal with people who send us negative vibes, though it’s rather tough to send them back positive vibes, especially when you are in that moment of time. But yes, that’s the only way you can deal with the situation if you don’t want to get affected with things.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂
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    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Harleena,

      Thanks for coming by 🙂

      No, it’s not always easy to send back good vibes while feeling uncomfortable, but meditation has helped me a lot with that. I call it to take the higher road, and if I manage to do it well, it really works.

      Have a great week end!

  • LisaTwitter: Lisapatb says:

    Yes, I’ve had a co-worker that would not say hello to me for my first 8 years there and once she started to you never knew if she meant it or what was going on. I finally stopped being the one to say hello first and just walk by. I finally realized it wasn’t me and I wasn’t the only being treated that way. I think your first vibes are usually the right ones.
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  • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

    Hi Lisa,

    What you first feel about a person is definitely a good indicator of what’s going on in such individual. However, if you feel some tension that you wish would go away, visualizing a peaceful light is what would help you in such situation.

    Thanks for coming 🙂

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