Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?
Would you like to be able to break the vicious circle of your bad relationship story?
Now, let it be clear, I’m not a matchmaker, and I won’t be able to help you meet people, but actually what I’m going to do with this article is way better than that.
I’m going to help you understand why you’ve been looking for love in the wrong places – meaning ending up with mister or misses wrong. So, you can stop doing that, and start getting better results in that department.
Why do we do Thing the Way we do?
If you are brand new to these two concepts I encourage you to educate yourself about them. And to do this, you can start right here.
In short, though, let me tell you that both our subconscious programming and what we attract in life are directly linked our beliefs.
Have you ever heard the saying, whatever you believe, you can conceive? Well, it’s probably because it’s so very true.
What I’m saying here is that what your subconscious programming really is, is the sum of your beliefs about every aspect of life, which in turn attracts every circumstance and event you encounter in your life.
When it comes to attracting love, it’s no different.
It took me years to uncover why I was attracting awful men in my life. And before I came to understanding why, I felt like a victim, because I was sure I had nothing to do with it. Well, it’s because I had nothing to do with it “consciously.”
But however “good” it feels to be a victim, do you know what made me feel even much better?
Being a victor.
Knowing that you do have a say about your experience and your future. And most of all knowing that you can stop the vicious circle is absolutely fantastic.
Can you Stop the Vicious Circle of Bad Relationships?
The first thing I do when I speak with a new client is finding out where they’re coming from. And I’m not talking geographically here. What I mean is that I’m trying to find out what has been programmed into their little baby head, because I know that whatever it was, it’s still in there, no matter how old they may be now.
When it comes to relationships, what you’ve learned subconsciously about relationships as a child, is going to dictate your relationship story.
However, the programming of a child’s mind is very subtle. It’s not always that easy to say, “oh, I know why you keep attracting violent men, or domineering women.”
I have attracted violent men for the longest time, but I wasn’t raised in a family where my father was violent to my mother.
In my case, it was because I learned to be violated in several different ways, which translated into attracting violent men into my life.
It’s like a doctor trying to recognize the symptoms of a disease with a patient. For the most part, the symptoms would be obvious so the diagnostic will be pretty easy, but once in a while, you are going to have that patient who doesn’t have the usual symptoms. In this case, the doctor will have to use more discernment and research to come up with his conclusion (diagnosis).
That’s what I had to do with my own case of dysfunctional relationship pattern, and that’s what I try to do with my clients, when like myself, they don’t have a clean cut past history that led to their present results.
In my own case, when I was finally able to retrace every single aspect of my mind programming as a child, I couldn’t help but notice that all the ingredients to create a grown woman with messed up relationships were there. But it wasn’t due to a single and unique fact, it was an accumulation of several facts.
As a matter of fact, this is the case for many people, that’s why it’s often hard to pinpoint the source of a specific problem.
Just like a unique ingredient will not make a cake, the combination of all the ingredients will make the cake. That’s how it was for me in regards to attracting bad men, and that’s how it is for some of my clients as well.
Whatever the case may be, it’s very important to find the source, whether it’s a clean cut easy to find or whether it’s more hidden.
But the good news about finding out your exact disaster recipe is that you can break apart, and make another one up.
That’s what I’ve done in my own case, and that’s how I’ve been helping my clients too.
When you can manage to do this, incredible things start to happen.
Open your Eyes and Observe
If you’ve just freed yourself from a bad relationship, don’t jump into the next one, even if you’re the kind of person that can’t live alone. Because if you do, all you’re going to do is return to the same type relationship.
Remember, as long as you don’t change the ingredients of your recipe, you’re always going to make the same cake.
Here is what you need to do before you get involved in another relationship.
1- Find out the source of your bad relationship story.
2- Fix it.
3- Test your new results, before getting involved with anyone.
If you’re not able to find the source of the issue on your own, you might want to consider hiring some professional help. And frankly, if you can afford it, I’d suggest you do that, because unless you find the root of the disease, it’s hard to cure it.
Once you found the source, it’s time to take the medicine. And in that regard, that’s when a coach can truly help you.
As far as testing your results, all you have to do is observe what type of people you’re attracting in your life, well before you start getting involved in a new relationship.
For example, in my own case, even though I’m not in any relationship by choice right now, because I really enjoy my complete freedom at the moment, I’ve noticed that I’m attracting people who basically want to “serve me” these days.
What I mean by serving me is that people give me way more than I give them right now in my life, including men. And this has simply never happened to me before.
Since I was never attracting people like that in the past, it’s a huge tell-tale sign for me that my point of attraction has changed tremendously. But if I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings, if I wasn’t observant, I could easily miss it.
When it comes to relationships, you need to keep your eyes open and try to decipher what the signs around you are trying to tell you.
If you follow the advice that I’m giving you in this article, you are bound to end the relationship vicious circle that you’ve maintained so far, and be able to start a wonderful relationship like you never thought possible before.
But that won’t happen until you follow each of the steps.
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