The average lifespan of a New Year’s resolution is 2 weeks to 3 months.
Needless to say that’s it falls pretty short from our goals, doesn’t it?
Have you ever ask yourself the questions, Why do we make New Year’s resolution? And Why most people can’t seem to be able to stick with them? But most of all, what can we do to make sure that we stick to our New Year’s resolutions? Let’s answer those three questions and see if YOU will be able to stick to your New Year’s resolutions this year 2013.
Why do we Make New Year’s Resolutions?
You might be surprised, but New Year’s resolution is not new. The Romans, who had a God named Janus which the name of the month of January comes from, would analyze their past behaviors and would vow to their God Janus to make improvement in the year ahead. It seems that thousands of years later we are sticking to this behavior. January New Year’s resolution is still going on today.
The reason why we make New Year’s resolutions is because the New Year is a new beginning. It’s a new chance for making changes in our lives. It’s a good opportunity to look back and see what we don’t like or don’t want anymore, and what we would like to bring into our lives instead. It’s the perfect time to make a change. It’s the perfect time to bring up the New YOU with the New Year. These are the reasons why New Year’s resolutions are still pretty much alive and so widely spread.
For example, the 10 most popular New Year’s resolutions in 2012 were the following in this order
- Losing weight
- Getting organized
- Spend less, save more
- Enjoy life to the fullest
- Staying fit and healthy
- Learning something exciting
- Quit smoking
- Help others in their dreams
- Fall in love
- Spend more time with family
Needless to say that for these to be the top 10 resolutions in 2012 there had to be quite a few people making them. The point is how many of such people did stick to them? I think that number 9 is rather interesting, don’t you think? What do you do to keep that one and more so to make it happen?
The funny thing is you could make even “falling in love” happen, but only if you knew how the Law of Attraction and other Universal Laws work, and how to use them to you own advantage. My guess is most people who came up with such resolution didn’t go through with it.
Why Most People Can’t Seem to be Able to Stick with New Year’s Resolutions?
To answer this question, let’s look at our list above. In order to accomplish any of such resolutions one would have to “take action”. The fact that you are “making a new year’s resolution” is NOT an action; it’s just a “thought” at worst and a desire at best. The main reason why most people can’t stick to their New Year’s Resolution is that they don’t know how to fill the gap between the thought/desire, and the actions they need to take in order to fulfill such thought/desire.
The thought and desire of doing something isn’t the tough part, the action is, because it requires efforts, commitments, and a strong will. We, as humans, are just like any other animals on the planet, we are naturally rather lazy, and we need motivation to move ahead.
You would have a very hard time to teach tricks to your dog if you don’t give him a reward, wouldn’t you? That’s the only thing that motivates the dog to listen to you. Believe me the dog doesn’t want to do this, for the most part; what he wants is the treat. That’s his pay back to play monkey for you.
I know that we like to think that we are above and beyond animal’s behavior, but we’re not really. We are only motivated by rewards. Once you understand this part, you are closer to stick to your new year’s resolution.
Learn how to focus less on the effort and focus more on the reward. If you have a dog or ever seen a dog doing a trick, that’s what they do. They focus on the reward and just do the darn trick almost as a reflex. I don’t have a dog, but my neighbor does, and that dog is begging me for treats on a daily basis. As he is staring at me he lifts his right paw with a watering mouth drooling on my patio. That dog is so focused on his reward it’s very interesting to watch. I don’t even have to ask him to give me his paw; he does it on his own, and without thinking. It has become a habit, so it’s easy for him.
So how do you stay motivated? How do you fill the gap between your desire and your actions? And how can you use “habits” to help you keep your New Year’s resolutions all throughout the year?
What Can you do to Make Sure that you Stick with your New Year’s Resolutions?
There are three rules of thumb that will help you stick with your New Year’s resolutions, and they are the following:
1. Live in the moment
Our brain is full of thoughts all the time crossing our mind. We’re thinking about yesterday, about last year, about 10 years ago, about what we are going to have for dinner this evening, what client we need to meet next week, our vacation next summer, etc. Our mind is rushing between the past and the future, and while we are doing this, we are NOT actually living the moment.
There’s only one time that you’re living in and it’s NOW. You’re not living in the past anymore, and you’re not living in the future yet. All you have is now. What are you doing NOW towards your New Year’s resolution? If you keep asking yourself this question several times a day, it will be a constant reminder that NOW is the time to work on your New Year’s resolution. Take one moment at the time.
Each time you ask yourself this question, you can only give two answers. I’ am doing something now, or I’m not doing anything now. Use that moment to take some type of action toward your New Years’s resolution.
2. Focus on the reward
Like in the example of a dog that does tricks for the reward because that’s what he’s focused on, you need to learn to focus on the reward.
When you drive a car on a long road trip from point A to point B, unless you love to drive long hours, your focus is where you’re going. You do not stop in the middle of the road wishing how much you would love to get there. No. You’re driving there. Your motive is to BE there, and making the effort to drive along is the ONLY way to get there.
It’s the same thing with your New Year’s resolution goals. Don’t focus on the trip so much but on when you get there. How cool it will be! The slogan of an internet marketer that I know is this, “If you’re willing to do for a year what others won’t, you can spend a lifetime doing what others won’t”.
Yes, you might have to put in some effort now, but you’ll be better off later. “Keeping your eyes on the prize”, will help you get there more easily. Focus on the reward and it will take you there.
3. Make it a habit
The good thing about habits is that they make us “do” things without much thought to it. When you brush your teeth in the morning, I bet you’re not jumping for joy at the thought of doing it, yet you do it day after day, after day, without much trouble. The first reason why is that it has just become a habit. The second reason is that it will save your teeth from rotting and falling off.
There you have it, the habit plus the end result.
It is said that it takes 21 days to create a habit (or roughly a month). Good or bad. What don’t you use this wonderful fact for your own advantage, and start taking the actions that you need in order to take on good habits?
Just like brushing your teeth it might not be something you’re looking for and necessarily like, but if it becomes a habit you will be able to just do it without thinking too much about it and without it being an issue. Make a habit of the actions that will take you to your goals.
These are the three methods that have done well for me and for some people I know. Living in the moment, while focusing on the reward, and making your task to get there a habit.
Try these on your 2013 New Year’s resolutions and let me know how it goes. In the meantime, give me your thoughts in the comment area.
Happy New Year’s resolutions to you!
PS: Stacy at Grow With Stacy has a Free Kindle book Build A New Habit in 28 Days, until January 2nd if you want to grab it right here!
Couldn’t agree more Sylviane!
Many people are guilty of making New Year resolutions and not really keeping up with them because we tend to make huge promises that we really can’t keep or carry on with. I’ve learnt to instead make small resolutions instead, which are achievable and something that you can give yourself a pat on the back for achieving with ease.
I agree about living in the moment, something that I strongly believe in because that moment is NOW, which never return once it goes. And yes, make it a habit and reward yourself for those small accomplishments, which will take you towards your goal for sure.
Thanks for sharing these with us. Wishing you a very happy and prosperous New Year with much success. 🙂
Harleena Singh invites you to read..Blog Anniversary – Making Merry this Christmas and New Year
Hi Harleena,
Thank for being the my first commentor of the year 🙂
I think that giving yourself smaller goals is much better. You’re right. One of the reasons why people don’t go through with their resolutions is that they are putting the bar to high.
I’ve been looking for a new post of yours this week end, but I guess you took a break I will be right there for your new post of the year!
Have a very successful New Year!
Hi Sylviane,
I never do a New Year’s Resolution because I often look back several times during the year to “resolve” myself of higher goals. But that being said, I am like a dog…I look forward to the treat when I want to change something in my life or business.
Going to the gym is a struggle for me, so I purchased new gym clothes that look great and that was my treat…just to be able to wear them…that got me to the gym.
The best point you have covered for me is to make things a habit. That always works! Even when I do an affirmation, I put it up somewhere where I see it for 21 – 30 days, I say it aloud, I look in the mirror and say it. Then, the habit forms into a behavior.
Thanks for the tips!
Donna
Donna Merrill invites you to read..Blog Review Of 2012
Hi Donna,
What you mentioned about the gym is excellent and illustrate what I was talking about very well.
You don’t like going to the gym, but just to wear those new clothes you are going to even “want” to go. That’s your treat 🙂 We’ve all done that and it does work, at least for a while. But while it does we can try to form a habit.
Thank you for coming and for giving this great example.
Sylviane,
Ahhh….that 6 letter word “ACTION” The life and death of many a new year’s resolution. Good intentions are met with failure if they are not accompanied by this little 6 letter word.
The 3 tips you laid out; live in the moment, focus on the reward, and make it a habit are right on the money. All of these points have huge lasting qualities. i’d like to add that any new year’s resolution or any goal for that matter can be “easy to do and easy not to do.”
if we look at the mindset of following through with our goals and state that they are easy to do, then our confidence grows and our ability to complete the goal increases. But if we complicate the goal then we loose focus and thus…another year ends the same as the previous.
Thanks for the great post.
Ken Pickard
The Network Dad
Ken Pickard invites you to read..Mindset Monday 2013 New Year’s Resolutions
Hi Ken,
Very true. Most actions that we need to be taking are both easy and not easy to do that the same time. That’s the very trouble that a lot of people encounter. ACTION is a big word, indeed, that can help us make or break our resolution promises.
Great input 🙂
Thank for coming, Ken, have a Happy New Year.
Hey Sylviane,
It’s great to leave my first comment on your blog. Actually, I found it on december 31 when I read Adrienne’s list of loyal bloggers. Like on her blog, it’s a pleasure to see that you’re not only writing useful posts but also you created a vibrant community around them. Congratulations for this!
As for the New Year Resolutions we can set don’t have any value over time without action. To be honnest, in the past 2 years I made huge resolutions and at the end of the year I found myself not completing them or not being congruent-action and goal.
Yet, these experiences taught me that while is great to set up a big and challenging intent it’s important to focus more on taking small steps daily that will lead you to those big goals. Also, none of us has the ability to predict 100% what will happen ;:)
Life has an unpredictible part too that makes it interesting and exciting! Thus, I seek to not be over atached to the idea of controlling everything in order to reach exactly the goal. Instead, I found more useful the idea of doing our best towards that goal, day by day, through small actions which in time become strong habits. I keep in mind Tony Robbins’ philosophy CANI-constant and never-ending improvement 🙂
Living in the moment is also a big one! When we’re here and now, we can use our minds more efectively and enjoy every experience fully.
Thank you for sharing these three steps for keeping up with our resolutions as much as possible! I appreciate the time and energy you put to create this post 🙂
Be blessed and have an abundant new year in every area of your life!
~Radu
Hi Radu, and welcome.
I’m so glad that you found me through Adrienne. It was so nice of her to mention me on her list. That’s how building relationships pays off, as she keep saying 🙂
Goals don’t have to be big and setting small goals is great too. In this post I purposely didn’t mention any “specific” goal because goals are as different as people making them. Some people are making HUGE goals while some are making smaller ones. Either way, the principal to keep those goals as much as possible is still the same. Live in the moment, think about the reward and make some good habits.
Thank you very much for your visit and hope to get to know you more.
Hi Sylviane,
Thanks for such a great post at the start of a new year. I am guilty of never sticking to my resolutions.
I so much liked the example of the dog. It is very practical and reading it, I see myself exactly like that dog. I really need to focus on the reward to take the action to stay the course of my resolution.
Great 3 rules of thumb, Live the moment, focus on the reward and make it a habit. These are great and easy rules and all we need to do is take action. As I read for one of your commenters, it is easy to do and also easy not to do. ACTION is huge here.
Thanks for another great and inspiring post Sylviane.
Be Blessed,
Neamat
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Hi Neamat,
I’m glad you enjoyed this post and it’s nice to see you here again 🙂
As they say things are easier said than done, thus that taking action issue pop it’s ugly head all the time, right? That’s why we absolutely need to focus on the reward to help us take those action more easily.
Thank you for you input, Neamat.
As I read through this I realized that I just typed something very similar in Ken’s blog. Awesome. I really find that focusing on the daily action step goals is something that stays with me.
Oh Hale Yes!
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Hi Hale and welcome here, as I think it’s your first time on my blog 🙂
Taking one step at the time is the way to go. It seems to help a lot of people to be able to keep their resolutions, whether they’re new years’s resolutions or any resolutions at any time.
Thanks for coming.
Excellent post. I saw a commercial with Special K cereal the other day and what was different is something Ken Pickard told me once: Focus on the benefit instead of the result. The commercial focused on how you will feel once you achieve your goals and it was so much more realistic (not their product), but the message itself. Lord knows I have made tons of resolutions and completed none, but you made so many great points on how we really leave it as a “thought” instead of making into action. Great post Sylviane.
Hi Sonia,
Nice to see you here and I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
It seems that commercials are finally getting a bit smarter 🙂 Showing the benefits of a product is definitely the way to go. That’s what internet marketers have been doing with their sales pages (the good ones), showing what we will get from it how it will “change” something for us. That’s what speaks to people the most.
Have a very happy New Year, Sonia 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
Wow… That’s very true 🙂 Recently I’ve read that more than 80% in US fail to achieve New Year resolutions. Well, I did list down what I need to acheive in a period of time with a whole theme “Rich” for this year. May be not a New Year resolutions, but goal oriented and ready to go to give myself more to my goals to help others.
Sometimes I think we define things incorrectly Sylviane 🙂 The wrong new year resolutions can hold us back, no? How about a doctor start blogging to help 1000s of people instead of focusing on few patients he can save? 😉 Jus’ saying. But I can see such with blooming new year resolutions. I think you can do a great post on it to help not to have bad new year resolutions 🙂 That’d be GREAT.
Now from your post the best tip for me is focusing much more on the reward. Naturally I feel to think about how hard it is to do and go on journey. I love the example about driving long hours. I’ve experienced that myself and used not to think about it when similar happens. Not because someone told me, but thought it may just me. Now you got me 😉 Now I focus on what did work for me. Also I need to narrow the gap between constructing goals and executing ’em too dear.
Thank you so much for this wonderful and timely post Sylviane 🙂 You Rocks…
Happy New Year resolutions to you too 🙂
Cheers…
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Hi Mayura,
I like that my “driving long hours” example talked to you.
Yes, if we kind of make the “wrong” resolutions on top of it that’s not going to help. That’s why our resolutions have to match us, so to speak, in order to make sense and to work. Depending where we are in our lives our resolutions would be quite different and at various levels.
As always, Mayura, thank you so much for coming here and great success to you!
Ah New Year’s resolutions Sylviane. Something I haven’t done in years.
As we discussed last night with the video Raena put on her last blog post from Tony Robbins on this subject I really think he said it best. Most of the resolutions people make are things they “should” be doing but it’s not really something that they want to do which is why they never follow through.
Like some people will use the excuse that it’s too hard so they quit after just a few weeks of “trying” to do something. Granted it might be hard but obviously they don’t want the end result bad enough in order to move through the pain anyway.
We beat ourselves up a lot over this silly things so I think that people should just live in the present moment and do them as they come along. Don’t wait until the beginning of a new year to move in the direction you want. Start now and the steps you shared here are a great way to start.
Popular topic at the beginning of a year and wonderful suggestions for helping those who still want to make resolutions. I wish everyone the best of luck.
Happy New Year Sylviane.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read..2013 Here I Come
Hi Adrienne,
I agree with you, I do not wait on New Years Eve to make resolutions. I make them as they come. The reason I wrote this post, though is because it’s a popular one at this time of the year and people are Googling it a lot around this time 🙂 The business woman in me always thinks that way, you know. But my steps can be used for any goal at any time, for sure.
Thank you for sharing this post yesterday, Adrienne, before you even commented on it. I did notice that 😉
PS: Maybe I should make the goal of not missing important emails anymore 🙂 What a dumber! LOL!
This is a great post to start the year with, Sylviane. I can’t tell you how many times I make a long list of resolutions then forget all about them in about a day. These days I stick to making my resolutions every single day – to be better, do better and make sure I’m on track for what I want.
You’re so right, that there is a big gap between wanting and doing. Part of the problem is we make these vast, vague promises (lose weight, make money, have fun) but we don’t really make a plan for getting there or know when we do. I mean take even just losing weight. You don’t wake up one morning and “lose weight”. You need to shop and cook and plan out what you’re going to eat and schedule exercise into your day and figure out how you’re going to deal with that party coming up… so it’s a lot more work. Then what if you lose five pounds, is that good enough? ten? What’s the real goal?
Ok, so there you have it! You need a real goal you can measure and a real plan to get there, even if it’s “have fun”.
As for “live in the moment” that’s something I resolve to do about every five minutes 🙂
Great post, great start to the new year!
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Hi Carol,
I love your comment and a whole post could be written just around what you’re saying.
Most of the time resolutions don’t work because they are just little wishes and desires, but they are not deep enough. As you very well explained, for example, losing weight is going to involve some serious actions and habit changing that lots of people saying I want to lose weight are not ready to take on. It’s got to be in the mind first. A strong motivation beyond the words.
Thanks for your excellent input, Carol.
Hi Sylviane,
I like your pointing straight to the elephant and state the FACT that most people have this horrible gap in their mind! Loving your tips about focusing less on the effort and focus more on the reward. Th vivid dream of having already achieved our reward can keep us working on the specific tasks NOW.
Thank you for recommending Stacy’s book. It would be a great help for people who have identified the gap. Some practical tools and tips are required to create more empowering habits.
Thanks, Sylviane!
Viola The Business Mum
Viola Tam invites you to read..We Have a Better Way
Hi Viola,
Nice to see you back here. Yes, there’s definitely a gap between wishing and doing isn’t there? My hope is that people will try to bridge that gap this year.
I thought the book of Stacy was so apropos, that’s why I wanted to share it!
Thank for your input.
Hi Sylviane,
I have never set a New Year’s resolution in my life. It seems to me that one habit that was good can later turn out to not serve us anymore and vice versa.
I take my life day by day and I analyze what is serving me and what isn’t and I make the necessary adjustments as I go along. One of the best choices I made in 2012 was becoming a vegetarian. This served me on so many levels I can’t even begin to tell you.
Take Care.
Justin invites you to read..How to Become Happy in Five Minutes While Allowing More Income into Your Life
I love that Justin, I’ve never really made new years resolutions, but just year long resolutions.
Wow, I have been thinking for a long while now to one day becoming a vegetarian. I would love to hear more about that. Did you write a post about it? If not, it would be great that you share this we us 🙂
Thanks for coming and have a successful New Year!
Dear Sylviane,
In my opinion people don’t stick with resolutions is because of the unwillingness to pay the price. The decision is made on conscious level, which is a small percentage of the will power. It is responsible for the how. The real power is in the why. Which is embedded into the subconscious mind.
The why has to be bigger than the price to be paid. In other words, if we have to choose between the burger and a salad, the reason why we go with the salad has to be higher priority than the burger.
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Hi Margarita,
That’s right. If your WHY is bigger then anything else that’s going to push you toward your goal. A lot of people don’t have a why at all and when it come to will power, it usually never last at best and doesn’t even exist at all worst.
Thank you for your feedbacks 🙂
HI Sylviane,
I am great in making New Year resolutions and equally great in breaking most of them within 4 months. I make new year resolutions as I am looking for Tabula rasa(guilty of using this term as it is frequently used by my husband) but somewhere along the way momentum couldn’t be sustained.
Living the present moment to the fullest is what I strongly believe in and I live by it.
Thanks for sharing these great 3 rules of thumb.
Sapna
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Hi Sapna,
Maybe just making smaller resolutions on a regular basis could help you in such case. It doesn’t have to be new years resolutions. Just resolutions/goals that you manage to keep using the methods that I mentioned on this post.
Thank you for sharing your input.
I never believed in making resolutions. I commit mistakes, I learn from them and I take life as it comes. I feel making resolutions creates an unnecessary pressure on my mind and I am never able to complete it. I like to take things as life presents them to me. Happy New Year, Sylviane. Wish you have a successful and blessed 2013.
Hi Richa,
I don’t blam you. You don’t have to make resolutions, what you have to do is have goals and take action to make it happen!
Thanks for coming.
Well said, you gotta take action to make your desires or thoughts come true. I have always set very realistic and achievable resolutions and I have been accomplishing them quite often. If I know that task at hand is too big, I break it up into monthly resolutions, so that I can see the progress I make at the end of the year.
Most people think focusing on the reward makes them lose focus. But it actually motivates us to work harder towards our goals.
Excellent post and thanks for sharing 🙂
Aditya
Aditya invites you to read..What Are Your New Year Resolutions?
Hi Aditya,
Yes, breaking down big resolutions is the key. If it’s too much to swallow at once, we need to cut it into small pieces right?
Focusing on the reward doesn’t not detract us from our goal, it’s the opposite as I mention in the post. It helps us to get there. You’re right.
Hi Sylviane,
Most of the common resolution you gave are actually on my list. Well, I am quite proud to say that I was able to achieve most of them like losing weight and spending enough time for my family. I actually lost quite a lot after giving birth to my second child late of 2011. I was also able to resign from work so I can spend more time with my kids. Though, I still have to start working of the “spend less, save more” resolution.
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Hi Sarah,
I’m glad that you seem to be on track with your resolutions. Resolutions are just goals that we need to remind to oursleves everyday, and taking one day at the time really helps. That’s what I do!
Thanks for your input!
Hi Sylviane,
You are right on target here. You know I posted the Anthony Robbins New Year New Life 2013 video and you watched it. Everything you said about New Year’s resolutions aligns with some of the messages in his video. Resolutions don’t work. I’d like to share some of his thoughts. He mentioned that resolutions are simply a wish list hoping it all comes together.
Progress equals happiness. Don’t worry about change. Change is automatic:
1) You have to have a vision of what you are have to create and it has to be compelling with enough power to pull with excitement and an environment of emotional intensity. Resolutions are a push and they never last.
2) You have to have strong enough reasons to follow when the going gets tough.
3) You have to review and feel it every day.
Resolutions are:
1) Kinda thoughts.
2) Not strong reasons.
3) Not reviewed very often.
Resolutions don’t work. Thanks for sharing!
Raena Lynn
Hi Raena,
Yes, I certainly came to your blog en enjoyed all 35 minutes of Robin’s video. As I was listening to him and having written this post before I did, it really made me feel good, because, indeed, this post is basically saying the same main ideas that he is talking about in his video.
Other things he mentioned that I totally agree with…
– Resolutions are just wishes. So true!
– Willpower doens’t last. Yep, that’s even the least we can say about willpower. I have a post that says “willpower doesn’t exist”.
– Change does happen whether we control it or not.
Thank you for your valuable input, Raena!
Hello every one. I enjoyed reading this article as well as your comments. In this year, I just hope that I can continue my studies and make more money from blogging. amen
erwin invites you to read..Heart Rate Monitor
Hi Erwin,
Nice sharing this with us and thank you for coming!
Hope you will have an excellent year!
I recently did an event for World Hypnotism Day (created by Tom Nicoli) about achieving your New Years Goals with Hypnosis. I was scared to speak at first, but that changed with a little bit of self hypnosis 😉
Mahalo,
Antonio
P.S. Are you ever looking for guest bloggers?
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Interesting share Sylviane.
I personally have many a times ended up putting vague New Year Resolutions without any time constraints and its quiet difficult to keep up with such resolutions. Each year hence now I focus on outperforming myself in all aspects of life , learning from all the worst experiences of life ,not repeating my mistakes and moving up the learning graph of life. For this year my resolution is to live each moment without any complains and just working to become a happier person each day .Cheers.
Hello Sylviane,
This is really an interesting post. You know, out of the 10 famous new year resolutions that you put, I wrote 4 of them for this new year’s resolution. I am still getting to be organized, I am enjoying my life to the fullest, I quit smoking and the other one is still to be done. It’s about my relationship, though.
I am so happy that I could stick to the resolutions perfectly. I also made on for my blog. I want to focus more on it, get more traffic, exposure, readership more than money. Hopefully, I’ll do it by this year
Thank you.
~Koundeenya
Koundeenya invites you to read..How To Build A Brand For Your Blog
Hi Koundeenya, and welcome to my blog.
I see that you have plenty of new year resolutions and you know what’s important about them right? Keeping them. I feel that taking one day at the time really helps to keep one’s promises.
I’m glad that you are focusing on building more blogging relationships and happy you come by here. I will certainly go visit you.
Hi Sylviane!
Last year my resolution was to lose weight. After a month I was too lazy to keep it. This year, I made it my same resolution only this time, I made it my business 🙂
So far its going great even though I just got started and it definitely falls under you 3 tips on how to keep it.
Melanie Legaspi invites you to read..Body By Vi – Why I Chose It
Hi Melanie and welcome here!
Great, that’s the way to go. Turning your resolution into a business will definitely help you keep it for good, and show to yourself and others that you are serious.