Are You Responsible For The Way People Act Towards You?

Are you responsible for the  way people act towards you

Have you ever trusted someone who turned out to be not so trustworthy after all?

Have you ever thought you knew someone so well, but yet they did something you’d never thought they would do?

Have you ever had a friend who turned out to be not so much of a friend at all?

Have you ever given at lot of yourself to someone, only to get kicks in the butt as pay back?

Have you ever felt unappreciated?

Have you ever fell in love with someone who didn’t even notice you?

Have you ever experienced any of the above?

If you have, take heart, you’re not alone.

I can say that I have experienced ALL of the above and some, at one time or another in my life.

But this is called life.

We all experience good things and bad things.

But we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good if we didn’t know what bad is.

So, even amongst the bad experiences that we go through, there’s always a good lesson at the end of the day.

But at times that lesson can be well hidden, or it may be years until you get it.

 

The reason why I wanted to write about this topic today, is that last week I was given an answer that was game changer to me.

All of a sudden, it was as if someone had taken a tick veil from in front of my eyes.

It was exciting. It was mind boggling. Yes, it was life changing.

But whatever the case may be, there are a few important facts that you need to keep in mind when it comes to how people act towards you, because when you get that, you will already feel so much better.

 

3 Most Important Things to Keep in Mind

The first most important thing you need to understand is that not everything is your fault.  Because what people think of us, and how they act toward us, is none of our business.

The second most important thing is that as long as you’re trying to do your best out there, you don’t have to worry about what other people think or do.

And the third most important thing is that as long as you do not fully understand what your subconscious mind projects onto other people’s mind, it’s only normal that you’re not going to understand why people react the way they do towards you at times.

So, the quick answer to the question, are you responsible for the way people act towards you?

I would say, yes, and no. Let me explain…

 

Not Everything is your Fault

While I’m a strong advocate of taking responsibility for our results, as well as the law of attraction.  And let’s not forget the fact that  I’m more than convinced that we attract (unconsciously) most of what comes to us, we are not responsible for EVERYTHING that happens to us.

I don’t know if it’s because we entered the month of March, but I’ve done a lot of deep thinking this week.

The month of March has been really tough on me.

How tough?

– My father died on March 26.

– My mother died on March 31 (this past year)

– My 4 legged child. My lovely cat, Sophie, was diagnosed with cancer this past year, on March 6, just as I was lying in bed for a whole week with some type of flu that lasted the first 9 days of March.

So, I guess it’s only natural that this first week of March has been a bit difficult for me, emotionally.

But, you see, none of these were my fault.

I had no control over any of that.

If anything, each of these terrible events made me stronger, and even made me feel my strength through my grief.

But I can’t BE or FEEL responsible for any of that.

Because not everything that happens to me is my fault.

How does this apply to you?

Don’t feel that you are responsible for what happens to you all the time, consciously or subconsciously. 

Some things happen to you to make you stronger, and some things happen to others that you happen to be related to and love.  Thus it’s bound to touch you.

But whatever happens, happens to be their story, their life, their death, their moving on…

Not yours.

So, you need to remember that not everything is about you, and not everything is your fault in any way, shape or form.

At times people are going to act a certain way towards you, and you will have nothing to do with it. It could just be them.

At times, they may have the problem, not you.

 

Don’t Worry So Much

Don’t worry so much about what other people think, do or do not do.

It took me quite a while to learn that, but you can only be hurt by someone as much as you let them.

And by the way, I’m not just saying that. I’m an expert at it.

How expert?

Because I’ve been in a couple of very difficult relationships. The kind of relationships that if you didn’t dig your strength from the inside, you’d probably have to take drugs to ease the emotional pain. Or simply become totally nuts.

But I never did.

Because I believed in my inner strength.

Not only I have a strong personality, but I KNOW that I’m strong.

For one thing, as someone who believes in God, in a Higher Power, I just know that God wouldn’t have let all the things that I went through happened to me, if I wasn’t strong enough to take them.

Interestingly, my mom always used to say, “God doesn’t give you more than you can take.” I don’t know how far back this saying goes, but it ‘s definitely a true one.

I feel that if God let those things happened to me, it’s because I could take them. And not only that, but learn and grow from them too.

Now, today, I’m convinced that I attracted those type relationships because of some subconscious issues, but yet again, that doesn’t make me responsible for the way those people acted. The way they acted towards me was their problem, not mine.

What does this mean to you?

If you have had or still have a tendency to attract Mr or Mrs wrong, it’s not your fault.  No one is responsible for being treated poorly by their husband, wife or anyone else they may be living with.  You don’t need to feel that you are being punished in any way.

 

You are Attracting Some Situations by Default

When it comes to how people act and react towards us, beside the fact that some people will just be jerks no matter what, we tend to attract the type reactions that we “subconsciously expect.”

As I was saying earlier on this article, I have had two tremendous revelations about me lately from a clairvoyance session I went through (and make sure you don’t misunderstand the word “clairvoyance here).

While I’m not going to talk about any details on this today, I found out that I have been giving some of  my power and energy to other people around me who actually used that power against me.

For those who may be puzzled at this point, I need to tell you that I’m going through a serious emotional, spiritual and even financial shift in my life right now, and that’s why I’m getting some incredible information about me that are pure Aha moments for me.

I am going through some serious game changers. A total turn around.

And this revelation I’v got, was probably the MOST powerful piece of information I was given in my whole life.

I’ve meditated on it this whole week, and it simply changed my life. But I want to make sure you understand that I didn’t get to that point overnight. It took some spiritual and emotional growth to get here.

Now you’re wondering why I am so sure that God is on my side?

You bet he is. I have no doubt about that what-so-ever.

But the thing is that because of some subconscious programming that I’ve been carrying around my whole life, I caused (by default) some people to act a certain way towards me.

Even though it came from my own subconscious mind, my own energy and emotions, it wasn’t my fault.

What does this mean to you?

If you don’t get help, you may never find out why things and people seem to be the way they are around you.

If you are looking for someone to help you this way, I may just be that person.

If you want to learn more about that, why don’t you contact me for your 30 minute Free session?

In the meantime, you can leave your questions and comments below.

 

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30 Comments

  • Harleena SinghTwitter: harleenas says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    Wonderful post indeed 🙂

    Yes, like you and me, I think many of us would be nodding our heads as we have certainly gone through the things you mentioned, some time or the other.

    Sorry to hear about your losses, and March definitely would bring in those emotional memories. Losses are always bad…but as you mentioned, all of this was not your fault, nor did you have any control over them.

    I wish I could do that too – not worry! But it’s a tough one for me, especially with teen girls around me…lol…reminds me of our times! I loved what your Mom told you – “God doesn’t give you more than you can take.” – very similar to what my Mom did too, so I guess both of them can’t be wrong 🙂

    Your last point about attracting some situations by default is interesting, especially all that you are going through – would love to hear the details of the ‘shift’, once you are ready to share it with us (if you wish to)

    Thanks for sharing this one with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Harleena,

      Ah so glad you came here as I came to your blog this morning, but couldn’t find your last post. So now I have it here now.

      I’m glad you can relate to this post. I think this is the kind of information that most people can relate to.

      I know, not to worry is always easier said than done, but I do worry much less now, than I used to in the past with practice.

      Yes, I do believe that saying very much so. I’m sure it exists in every country of the world 🙂

      Oh, yes, I’m going to write about that shift in more details for sure. Probably in like a 3 part type post series.

      Thanks for dropping by, Harleena

    • kelli says:

      Hey Sylviane
      As you probably would guess, this type of post is right up my alley. I think the thing that can be tricky with this type of subject matter is the idea of taking responsibility vs. blaming ourselves for what we attract into our experience. Those are two very different energies.

      Our outside experience, including how others interact with us, is merely vibrational feedback and nothing more, and if we can see it as such, we can examine what is in our internal world that may be being reflected back to us in our outer world, and adjust accordingly.

      If people notice a pattern of the same types of ‘undesirable’ people entering their experience over and over, it is important to take a look and see what is being mirrored back. Changing our energy can take care of that quite nicely and it is pretty amazing!

      Great post!
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  • Dennis SeymourTwitter: denseymour says:

    Hello Sylviane,

    This topic is very interesting. And I enjoyed every bit of your post.

    Like you, my answer would also be yes and no. I’ve got many reasons why I have chosen these two answers.

    Yes, you may be responsible for how other people act towards you. It’s like “what you sow is what you reap” thing. If you do good, people will treat you nicely. But if you act rudely like a bastard then expect also that people around you will treat you the same way as you do.

    No, because you certainly can’t control other people’s way of thinking. I guess, sometimes, we can’t control our own thinking as well. As they say, you can’t please everyone. No matter how good you are or how pleasant your personality is, there will always a few who will see you in a negative way. It’s just the same as, no matter how bad you are and no matter how bad other people think about you, there will always be someone who can see the good things about you.

    Well, thanks for sharing this. You’ve got a great post over here.

    Have a blessed day ahead!
    Dennis
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Dennis and nice to see you here.

      Well, I’m very glad you enjoyed this topic since I would expect to see you more on blogging topic type posts, so double the surprise and the joy that you liked what you read.

      What you said is true. No matter how good or how bad one can be, there’s still going to be someone liking or disliking you in either cases. That’s why we need to keep this in mind.

      Thanks for coming, and have a wonderful day!

  • ikechi says:

    Hello Sylviane,

    So sorry about your dad and cat.

    You poured out your soul on this post and I loved the topic. You really hit the nail with the point that even though we attract things based on nature, we are not responsible for the outcomes.I agree that not everything is about us.

    When things happen to me that doesn’t favor me, I believe that there is a lesson to learn in this situation. The good book does say that God will not allow the temptation to be greater than you. So this means that there will be challenges but one will be able to overcome it.

    I really don’t mind what people think about me because like you have mentioned, I can’t control their thoughts and I am aware that you can’t please everyone so it is easier and less stress to be you. Thanks for sharing and thanks for reminding us what is most important.

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Ikechi, and thank you for your words.

      Yes, that saying that my mother used to say all the time, does come from the Bible as you mentioned.

      You are totally right. Most of our challenges happen for a reason, and that reason is to learn and grow from that. I’m convinced of that too.

      Thank you so much for your input and have a wonderful day!

  • Nanda RahmaniusTwitter: NandaRahmanius says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    Great topic!
    Honestly, I also experience some circumstances that you mentioned at the beginning of this article. I just nodded my head. 🙂

    Indeed, as you said, that’s life!
    We learn something from something as well. We appreciate the good things because we also experience the bad things.

    If we could have a bit of reflect on, we will realize that every incident that happened to us will bring us stronger, wiser and better than ever.

    I like your article, Sylviane.
    Keep up the good work!

    ~Nanda
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Nanda,

      The more I write this type of articles, the more people can relate, and seem to love them.

      I love when I can write something where my reader will nod in agreement. Then I know that I’m speaking to them. Love that.

      That’s true, Namda, each challenging experience makes us stronger, wiser and better. While they are not fun, they are often necessary.

      Thanks so much for your input.

  • Neamat TawadrousTwitter: nkeriakos says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    Wonderful post and well written and yes it goes hand in hand with my post.

    To answer your question, yes I have experienced all what you mentioned at the beginning of your post. Life is tough sometimes but through it all we grow and mature.

    Sorry about your losses but I am also happy for the life changing shift. It’s true if we don’t experience the bad we will never know what the good is. And what your mom was saying: “God doesn’t give you more than you can take” is true and biblical. GOD allow for trials in our life to make us stronger but he also gives the exit for it and will never give us more than we can handle. He is the only one who knows us perfectly and knows our tolerating capacity.

    Finally, like Harleena, I would love to know about the details of the shift when you are ready to share it.

    Wonderful Post Sylviane and thanks for sharing. Enjoy the rest of your week.

    Be Blessed,

    Neamat
    Neamat Tawadrous invites you to read..How To Deal With Discouraging Remarks???My Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Neamat,

      Yes, God allows for trials to help us to be strong and learn what we are here to learn. I have no doubt about those things.

      As Donlad Welsh says so well, you don’t have to try to get perfect, you are already perfect, the reason why “bad” things happen is part of your journey, so can learn and grow. This is a very powerful message of his.

      I’m glad you came by, and you have a wonderful rest of the week as well.

  • Mi MubaTwitter: BAMoneyBlogger says:

    Hi Sylviane

    In the beginning of your post I was just thinking how you came to know that much about me. Lolz

    Most of these situations happen to most of the people but the only difference is you very clearly narrated them while many people don’t even remember properly that all or most of it has already been happened to them.

    If we understand that whatever is happening in this worlds is mostly being done without our consent and against our wishes then half of our worries die down soon after our realizing this fact.

    Self blaming is very common nowadays; those people do this more who don’t objectively analyze the situation they are facing.

    People generally adopt an extreme view while assessing how much they are responsible for a fault. Either they term themselves fully responsible though they may be slightly into it while many times they fully exonerate themselves though they are mostly responsible for it.

    So the moderate view is to do the analysis with complete impartiality and fully putting aside the emotions and natural bonding with an issue.

    Thanks a lot for sharing this very powerful post that itself is a game changing for those who had ever experienced any of the situations mentioned in it.
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Mi,

      Ah, I so love your first sentence here “in the beginning of your post I was just thinking how you came to know that much about me”. Wowaaaa that is what any blogger/writer wants to hear and accomplish. I want to speak to ONE person, even thought hopefully hundreds will read these words. Well, mission accomplished. You statement is gold to me. 🙂 🙂

      So true, Mi, while at times people tend to blame themselves too much, others don’t while they should. I have totally witnessed that many times in my life. A nice balance and more insight might be necessary in such cases.

      I am glad you enjoy your read here, and thank you so much for coming by, as it is always very much appreciated.

  • Dr. Diana Hardy says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    You have chosen a great topic to share with people like us. You’re 101% right that we never care about other people when we are doing something different. We should concentrate on work only.

    Thanks for sharing this article with us.

    ~Dr. Diana Hardy

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Dr. Diana,

      I’m glad you enjoyed this post.

      Thanks you for your input. Very much appreciated.

  • Mitch Mitchell says:

    Since you actually asked two questions I’m going to answer them separately.

    Have I ever trusted someone who turned out not to be trustworthy? In person, never. Online, yes, but not in many years. I was brought up to be nice to everyone but not trust anyone until they’ve earned it. I’m a very good evaluator of people in person; once someone has really become my friend, they’re my friend for life. Online… Well, it’s kind of set up where sometimes you have to trust that someone will do the right thing… then they don’t, and you end up disappointed and not being paid; yeah, that’s happened. Sigh…

    On to the second question; are we responsible. For the most part we are, but sometimes, as you say, it’s out of our control. Dr. Phil says we teach people how to treat us and he’s absolutely right. When I have that opportunity I make sure I take the lead in deciding how people are going to treat me, and trust me, I give back harder than what I might get if people don’t treat me right. Not being a tiny person, it can be intimidating at times; luckily, that’s rare.

    At the same time, I’m a black man in America. For some, no matter what I do or who I may be, as soon as I walk in the door… well, that’s that. I didn’t do anything except be brown-skinned; sorry folks but I’m not responsible for your reaction to that.
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Mitch,

      Thank you so much for this wonderful comment you left here.

      True, it’s way easier to judge people face to face than it is online. No doubt. I’ve misjudged people online a few times too, but when I was younger I wasn’t even good at judging people face to face either. I’m much better now.

      I love that statement from Dr. Phil, we teach people how to treat us. SO true.

      I’m glad you mention skin color here. In the Kevin Costner movie that just came out last month “Black or White” The character that Kevin Costner plays says, “is the color of the skin of a black man the first thing I see? Of course it is, and so is the color of a white man.” Which means that whatever prejudice one might have of either of the two, we won’t be able to escape that. In such case, if it was to be negative, that’s totally above and beyond our control.

      Thanks for coming, Mitch, and wonderful comment.

  • metz says:

    Hello Sylviane!

    It’s an inspiring article, I must say. Sometimes, we feel sad about the negative things fall out in our lives. Yes, it’s not our fault, or should I say, it is not always our fault? We don’t need to blame ourselves about it, nor feel sad and more alone. It will merely make things worse.

    I believe that if something bad happens, you have to find comfort like talking to someone to feel better. It’s way helpful than drinking alcohol.

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Metz,

      Yes, we need to be balanced and don’t blame ourselves when no blaming is necessary. On the other hand we need to see when we are responsible for how we react, and how much we let people affect us by their actions and words.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the read and thank you for coming.

  • AdrienneTwitter: adriennesmith40 says:

    Hey Sylviane,

    I’m late again my friend, sorry about that but wanted to stop by and check out this post.

    I know that you’ve been doing a lot of work on yourself lately and I know that’s only going to make you an even more awesome woman than you already are.

    I agree and was nodding my head as well as what you were sharing. As I just wrote in my post yesterday that a lot of what has happened in my life over the years I can only assume I subconsciously had something to do with why it happened. Granted, I’m not responsible for their actions or the way I was treated. I respected myself enough to not stay in bad situations and end relationships I knew weren’t healthy for me.

    As the years went by and I started to learn more about the law of attraction I understood that my own thoughts could have had something to do with the people I did attract and I was the only one that was going to change anything about that at all. I now know so much more and only wish I’d known more as I was going through it all but I guess it all had to happen for a reason and maybe it was for me to have my own aha moments later in life.

    I’m glad you wrote this post though and I’m so happy for you. Not about all the loss you had to endure of course but the lessons you’ve learned and the people who were in your life for however long you had them.

    Thank you my dear and have an awesome week.

    ~Adrienne
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Adrienne,

      Well I’m glad that you wanted to read this post.

      Just like you, I only wish I knew half of the things I know now when I grew up and when I was in my twenties, but hey I didn’t know crap back then, about the law of attraction and how our subconscious mind works, and tricks us in a way. But it’s because life is a journey, and as we grow older and mature we learn more about spiritual things that we might have not been ready for when we were younger.

      The first half of my life had it’s good moments too, but the second half will be more interesting and rich, no doubt, and I’m sure it’s the same for you.

      Everything we went through good and bad, made us who we are, and that’s the beauty of it too.

      I just told a friend today, I used to have everything that I lost today (people I loved) and be totally depressed. Today, I’m grieving but I’m not depressed which is two different things. I’m growing more than ever actually, but in my grief. I know it will get better.

      Thank you so much for coming my friend.

  • Deborah Tutnauer, MEd, MSW says:

    It sounds like you are on quite the journey Sylviane!

    It’s powerful to process your own experiences in a new and deeper manner and then to share what you’ve learned with others as you are doing in this post.

    There is a depth of self understanding that I believe cannot be reached on one’s own. Yet it is there we must go in order to step boldly and fully into our life and business dreams and successes!

    You are well on your way Sylviane!
    Warmly,
    Deborah
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    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Deborah,

      Thanks for saying that I’m well on my way, I feel it too, and it’s about time 🙂

      I know this years is a turning point year for me as well, and a bit scary at the same time, but that’s part of the game.

      Thanks for dropping by, Deborah.

  • Veena Furtado says:

    Hi Sylviane.

    How are you?

    Your question is very tough to answer in the world that we live in. There is so much of hatred and treachery…it is tough to trust the people who are the closest to you.

    It is very hard to say that a person is responsible for the way people act towards that person.

    There are people in this world who are really nasty and they will go out of their way to hurt another person, for no reason at all.

    Well, that I guess is the answer to your question.

    Best wishes and Regards.
    Take care.
    Veena

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Veena,

      Yes, there are bad people out there, but that’s also why I teach people about the law of attraction and how we can raise their vibrations so they DON”T come across too many of those people.

      The bad and the good will always be around, but we can minimize the chances we encounter bad, it that makes sense, even though we might still run across it at times.

      Thanks for visiting, and have a great day.

      • Veena Furtado says:

        Well Sylviane, this is really great work that you are doing. With so much bad happening in our world today, your teachings will definitely be of immense help to people.
        Enjoy your weekend.
        Take care.
        Regards
        Veena

  • Kerry says:

    This stuff you write about here is constantly on my mind. Why we make the choices we do, but also why do people we love leave us so much?
    I know people are bad for falling into patterns or cycles that they seem doomed to repeat, ones that exist within families.
    I made some bad choices in relationships, but then I often end up feeling like it was something I did or did not do, that I wasn’t enough for someone, and that is why they left me.
    Logically I know I am a pretty great person to be around, but everything that keeps happening to me seems to want to disprove that.
    I have lost friends and feel like it is my own fault, that I am not fun enough or too much of a bother to be around for long.
    I can’t quite figure it out.
    I hope I will continue to learn as I get older.
    Great topic for discussion Sylviane.
    Have a great weekend. Sorry I am late to the discussion here.
    🙂

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Kerry,

      Well, if you were one of my clients, and tell me those things, I would tell you that you might have some subconscious resistance and that’s what bring those negative results with relationships and friends.

      When it comes to the subconscious mind (our subconscious programming), unless we become aware of it, it will keep repeating itself, thus the need to know about and fix the problem.

      Thank you for your input and you have a great day now!

  • Sunday says:

    Hi Sylviane,
    Many things come to mind while going through this post. Just reminiscing on my own life as well. I like this “…we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good if we didn’t know what bad is.” This is the essence of life’s experiences for us all.
    Yes, we cannot be responsible for all things that happens to all even though we stick with the laws of attractions.

    There are times life throws its heavy spanners to clang our wheels. Accepting these facts of life instead of denying them would always help us come out strong.

    Experiences should help learn if we are open to them. Worrying is natural but it should be limited so we don’t get powerless and fearful to move on despite what comes to us.

    Since we cannot actually read other peoples mind, we may not be ultimately blamed if they treat us in ways we aren’t expecting.

    This comment shared in kingged.com as well.

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