What Drives People To Make The Same Mistakes Over And Over

Recurring Issues Lack of Success

Recurring Issues Lack of Success

Have you ever made the same mistake more than once?

Have you even made that mistake over and over… and over?

If you can answer yes to at least one of these two questions, then this article is for you.

What prompted me to write about this subject is that I have a client that I’ve been helping for the past two years, and he’s reached out to me again just yesterday, by email, with the same type of recurring issues that he’s been having not only since I’ve known him, but pretty much his entire life.

Now, if even an animal can learn pretty quickly when something hurts and avoid it after a short while, why can’t humans avoid making the same mistake more than once?

Good questions, isn’t it?

Here is my theory on the subject, after having studying many cases as well as my own, over the years.

  1. The problem is so deep in the subconscious programming that’s pretty much impossible to stop it.
  2. There exist a very negative energy surrounding them that makes them fall every time for the same thing.
  3. They are somehow reluctant to fully trust good advice, and apply it.
  4. They keep doubting themselves to the point of making the worse choice available, every time they have two choices in front of them.
  5. They keep attracting the same crap over and over, because of pretty much all the above together.

Usually if you keep making the same mistake over and over it’s going to be a bit of everything I mentioned above in most cases. I know that it’s the case of the client I’m referring to.

I feel that his case is so specific that it’s well worth a blog post to dissect each of these areas and see what we can find.

As you’re reading this, you might recognize yourself as well. And that’s OK. I’ve recognized myself in some of my clients issues many times before as well.

So, here are some of the mains reasons why you keep making the same mistakes over and over, even though you are an intelligent person.


1- The Road Block of the Subconscious Programming

No matter what you study, no matter what you read, no matter what you learn, no matter what new information gets into your brain, you can’t afford to neglect your subconscious programming.

Whatever has been put there when you were just a small child is still there.

No exception.

Some of it is useful, some of it is neutral, and some of it is darn harmful to your progression, improvement and growth in life.

Of course, it’s the latter that you need to watch for.

But how do you recognize a harmful subconscious programming?

You can recognize a harmful subconscious programming by noticing your recurring issues, fears, and other less than useful habits that seem to always show up.

Just as an example, the habit of smoking could be so much in your subconscious programming, because your parents smoked in front of you since you were an infant, that even though you consciously know how bad it is for your health, and really want to stop, you’re not able to, no matter what you try.

In such case, pretty much any supposed “cure” against smoking wouldn’t help you for very long, because your subconscious programming is going to kick back sooner or later.

A better approach in this case would be to retrace that habit of yours at the subconscious level and removed it from there in order to be able to physically stop smoking successfully.

This is just an example, but it’s pretty much the same scenario with any type of harmful subconscious programming.

Here is another…

Let’s say your parents told you that you were stupid and good for nothing often as you were growing up. That unfortunate sabotage of the mind would become one of your main subconscious programmings, and most likely you would manage to fail at just about anything you’d attempt in life.

In such case, if you kept failing at everything you’d tried, while otherwise a smart and well put together person, you would need to get to the root of the problem, namely your subconscious programming that says that you’re stupid and good for nothing.

If you’re suffering a stinking recurring issue in life, the first place you need to check, is your subconscious programming.

Now I’m not going to lie to you. This is something that’s hard to fully figure out on your own, and that’s when you’d probably need a coach to help you find out.


2- A Negative Energy Surrounding you

While this is less common, and seldom accepted by many people, it’s real. It does happen.

I am not an energy healer, at least not yet, but I can recognize it when it’s there because there are tale-tell signs, especially when my clients start trusting me well enough to tell me their little secrets. In some case, the only explanation I find is that they have a case of negative energy surrounding them.

In such cases, I would advise you to consult with someone who is able to see energy, or has some type of psychic ability in that area.

Not everything that affects us in life is “visible” to the eye, or palpable. Some of those things you can’t see, hear, smell or touch.  Just like radio waves, or the sounds that your dog can hear, but you can’t. You just have to trust that they do exist nonetheless.

For you to be able to find out and get rid of negative energy encumbering your life, would totally depend on how much open you are, or narrow minded you are.

Either way one or the other will probably guide you in making your decision. But no coach can make it for you.

A coach can only guide you in the right direction in a case like that.

You can take the horse to the water, but you can’t make him drink.

I can clearly feel that negative energy surrounding my client, but he’d rather ignore it for now, even though he knows it’s there. So there’s nothing I can do, especially when fear is involved on the part of my client.


3- Refusing to Follow Good Advice

No matter how much or how good advice is given to you, it won’t do you any good if you keep on refusing or being lazy to apply it to your specific situation.

Also, applying advice once in a blue moon, or when you feel up to it, is pretty much as useless as not doing it at all.

When you hire a coach that you trust, you need to follow your coach’s advice to the T.

It’s your life you want to improve, don’t you?

If you can’t even make the effort to improve your own life, what else are you going to be able to do in life?

Apply coaching advice like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

Don’t fool yourself.

Do you know that just by doing a couple of swifts in your daily routine could dramatically improve your life over time?


4- Doubting Yourself

If you hire a good coach, you should be able to boost your self-confidence.

Stop doubting yourself.

Take the plunge once in a while, especially if you’re not even taking it on your own, because you are being guided by a good advisor (your coach).

Once I’ve coached someone for as long as I’ve coached the person I’m referring to in this post, I answer their questions with other questions to help them think.

When I ask them the questions that they should be asking themselves, they are bound to realize sooner or later that they could have easily asked those questions themselves, and thus been able to answer them as well.

Getting to know yourself is very important in this case, and it will help you to ask the right questions.

As a coach I try to help my clients discover their own pattern, because I know that it’s easy to be blind to our own habits.

When you doubt yourself too much it can be quite paralyzing and preventing you to think straight, so the best advice I could give you right off the bat is to relax and take a big breath.

Let’s see now, what went wrong and why…?

What could I have done to prevent it?

What could I do next time this happens?

Is there a way I could know before it even happens…? What are the signs…? Etc…?

Learn how to ask yourself the right questions about your specific problem or issue, and you will be well on your way to fix them.

If you need a coach to get you started, let me know.


5- Still Attracting Same Old, Same Old

Are you still attracting same old, same old?

Don’t be blind to you own issues, because if you are they will most definitely never go away.

If you keep getting the same results. If you seem to be making the same mistakes over and over in life, it’s bound to be one or more of the reasons I mentioned above.

If you are tired of getting hurt in the same spot over and over, you must find the source of the problem, because unless you do, it’s going to hurt again, again, and again.

It’s going to hit the same spot over and over. And this is not a nice way to live.

I hope I answered questions that some of you might have been asking yourself.

To learn more about improving your life, you can also get my book bellow. It’s the price of a cup of coffee, but will benefit you much better.

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10 thoughts on “What Drives People To Make The Same Mistakes Over And Over”

  1. Hey Sylviane,

    I’ve definitely made a mistake more than once but usually not more than that. I also know some people who are like your friend and I just don’t think they’re either willing to admit that it’s something they need to work on or willing to accept that they need to change.

    I know that our subconscious programming has a lot to do with where we are in life but I also 100% believe that if someone really wants to change then they can. I think where most issues arise is that they’re either not willing to admit that they are at fault or that they need to change. That’s usually why they keep repeating the same mistake over and over again. I would think though in the case of your friend that he KNOWS what the issue is. You’re tried to help him many times but he just refuses to see.

    I would hope anyone who is in the position would want to make the necessary changes because we all have to work on ourselves in order to continue growing and learning about us and life. Oh but it’s a cool process too, the things that we do experience once we’ve been through all the mess. I hope your friend is finally willing to take that step.

    Thanks for bringing this subject up and I wish everyone the very best who is in the position right now.

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    1. Hi Adrienne,

      I know that in the case of the person I’m referring to here, there’s a lot of fear involved. Once thing I’ve learned over the years it’s a lot of such fear comes from religious beliefs. Something I know for a fact is that religious beliefs can be so strong that it will make you do or not do certain things. It’s like the person doesn’t fully have their own mind to themselves anymore and they act according to such belief.

      That’s why religious or other beliefs are deep and strong, and they even take over the simple “will” of the person. It’s not that they don’t want to, but they are crippled by fear of punishment.

      When we don’t have such strong beliefs it may be hard to understand, but it’s very real. I’ve seen it many times.

      Thanks for your comment, Adrienne, and you have a great week ahead!

  2. Hey Sylviane,

    That’s many people’s problem is making the same mistake over and over again. I think it also can be the fear of the unknown and stating comfortable with what they already know.

    But I do agree with your reasoning. Especially with number #1 with subconscious programming. This would go with my own reason. The subconscious is there to be programmed where habits are created. But one thing us for sure and that it can be reprogrammed for the better.

    It does take some willingness and consistency in order to make this happen. For many of us it tales a lot of time but once you make that change and the things you really want in life starts to appear then you’ll be glad you put the effort in. At least I have 😉

    Thanks for sharing Sylviane! Have a great rest of the week!
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    1. Hi Sherman,

      Yes, fear of the unknown is another reason at times and a whole new game of it’s own, but in the case I’m describing in this post, it’s actually not the case, so that’s why I didn’t include it in this specific topic.

      There is another very strong fear that’s out there, as I was telling Adrienne in my reply to her comment, and it’s fear that’s attached to one’s religious beliefs, and those are stronger than anything else, I find.

      You’re right, anything we do take willingness, not matter what.

      Thanks for coming, Sherman and you have yourself a fantastic day!

  3. I can certainly relate to your excellent post Sylviane!

    And after a while of constantly beating your head against the wall,
    you do have to sort of question yourself and do some serious soul searching!

    And like you pointed out, if we’re willing to take helpful advice and hire a coach, lots of times, at least some of our problems could not only be solved!

    But avoided altogether in the near future!But the key is, we have to be committed to wanting to real change and sincerely trying to improve!

    Thanks so much for sharing such a thought provoking article!

    Hopefully it will help more of us come to grips with some of our personal struggles!
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    1. Hi Mark,

      So glad you used the phrase “thought provoking” because that was my goal with this post 🙂

      The human being is a very complex being, with lots of fears and craps that they like to add on in their short lifetime (as we know it).

      As I was mentioning above in my replies, one very crippled thing I found is religious beliefs. When they are strong there’s no can do to help the person. If anything we advise (as coach) happens to be contrary of what the person believes (according to their entrenched religious beliefs) there’s no can do. Without revealing everything here, it’s a bit of what I’m finding in this case.

      Thank you so much for your input and have a wonderful day ahead.

  4. Hi Sylviane

    I have always wondered why people keep making the same mistake over and over again? Even when the solution is before and they have every reason to become better, they still go and make the same mistake.

    You sure revealed the reason and you are so right. There is a lot of subconcious programming in play and it is necessary to be open and get a coach to assist in helping to get rid of such negative energy.

    Thanks for an awesome post. Have a swell weekend. Thanks

  5. I recently learnt about this and it’s obvious when you think about it. However, some people just haven’t freed the mental space to explore where these habits comes from.

    As a father of 2 young girls I find myself becoming more aware of what I do in front of them and more cautious of what I say to them.

    I’d hate to be that ‘person’ in 30 years time that gave them a learned destructive behaviour.
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    1. Hi Hammo,

      That’s excellent. I love to hear that from a parent. Even though I don’t have children myself, my field makes me oh so much aware of the mistakes that parents make while raising their children. They just have no idea. So, keep up the good work.

      Thanks for coming.


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