As much as we want our talents alone to pay off – and they do in most cases. there exist another very important factor that we can’t ignore.
What is such factor?
It’s not what you do, but whom you know.
Truth be told, in many cases it’s not what you do that always counts the most, but who you know, or should I say, whom you have become because of whom you know.
This applies to just about any area of business, and it also applies to bloggers.
Let me explain.
The Importance of Becoming that Popular Blogger
You might be writing terrific blog posts, but your traffic is still very low and comments about your great content close to non-existent. Or you might have written a very high quality guest post, but no one is replying to your pitch emails.
When that happens, and if it’s, indeed, darn good quality content, it’s mostly due to the fact that either people don’t know and trust you yet or you have still not met the right people.
Either way, it means that you have to broaden your relationships with other online professionals.
If your content is good to excellent, and you are still not getting the results you’re expecting it’s not due to you, but whom you know.
I bet that if you’d write a blog post anonymously on a popular blog which readers would “think” it was written by the popular owner of that blog, you’d have the same amount of comments they do. On the other hand, you may write an even better article as a guest, but because the readers would see that it’s not written buy their favorite popular blogger you might only get half the amount of comments they get.
That is not a theory. I’ve seen this. Several times.
Such reaction has nothing to do with you, but it has to do with those people, whom you don’t know. They don’t know you, therefore they are not as interested in what you write, as much as they are in what the owner of the blog writes. Only because they KNOW him or her.
It’s Not about What you do, but Whom you Know
I know that you know that’s true. I’ve seen that happened many times, and I bet that you have too. Come on, I know you have!
The question is, what could you do to get there? You know, that place where people will know and trust you no matter what you write, and do.
What can you do to get that fame stamp on your forehead, and get traffic even if what you’d write on your blog is a Christmas letter to your grandmother.
This is something I’m studying myself as I love to analyze human behaviors and try to figure out what makes us tick and what doesn’t.
So, here is a list of things you may want to try to do, to reach to popularity as a blogger and writer, and get better results for your ultimate goal, which is your online business.
Leave Comments on Other Blogs
One thing you most definitely need to start doing if you haven’t yet, is leave comments on other blogs.
Yes, this takes time, I should know. A good chunk of my precious time goes into blog reading and commenting, but I see it as a necessary step to build my business to both learn from others and build relationships with them.
Blog commenting should also be one of your business building tactics, because it will help you build relationships, even with really popular bloggers.
If they don’t return the favor by coming on your blog right away, don’t get discourage and keep going anyway. Don’t forget that by showing your face on a blog as a commenter, you’re not only getting noticed by the owner of the blog, but by other readers of that blog. At times this fact is even MORE important for you.
I am working on that myself, because I realized that some new people have come to my blogs because they found me on another blogs. That has happened to me many times, and continue to do so, as a matter of fact.
So, be patient and go back and back again until someone notices you, and try to build those relationships with people who do, and are nice enough to pay you a visit.
Only if you see that it’s really useless and a waste of your time go on to the next person, but do not give up until you’ve done your very best.
Be Real and Honest
If your only motive to build relationships with other bloggers and marketers is a selfish one, it’s not going to work for you. People are not stupid, they will detect if you’re not honest sooner or later.
I have had many of those fake people coming to my blog for a little while, some even trying to guest post on my blog. But they were fake and I could just tell.
So, please, don’t fool yourself, people can tell when you’re fake. Don’t underestimate that human being ability called intuition, if nothing else.
Be real, be honest and be authentic. These are really good qualities that attract people.
Offer a Helping Hand
When you need help from others, it’s a good thing to offer YOUR help if you can. Maybe you need help with recognition, traffic and subscribers, but the people who could help you may be needing your help as well. No one is good at everything.
What is it that you know how to do well that may be helpful to them?
Are you good at technical stuff? Do you have some specific knowledge that could be helpful to them?
Use and offer your talents when trying to build relationships with others. This could go a long way.
You could honestly ask someone for a trade in. I would love to offer you my help with what I do best and I would really appreciate it if you had any tip for me …. (fill out the banks).
Develop Leadership Skills
If you want to become a leader in the blogging/online marketing industry you must learn how to develop leadership skills.
I very well know that not every single person on the planet is built to be a leader, but unfortunately, if you’re one of the followers out there, it will be very difficult for you to make it in this business.
If you don’t feel that you are a leader right now there are two options for you…
1) You can try to get help and build the leader in you.
2) You may not be in the line of work that’s for you.
This may seems kind of a direct thing to say, but that’s simply true. I’ve help many people in the past who were mostly trying to build an affiliate marketing business, and the ones who didn’t have enough leadership skills have fell away.
I can tell you that unless you have been very fortunate (as few have been), or talented enough to manage to get popularity in a year or less as a blogger/online marketer, this will take a little bit of time.
I’m still building mine, and at times if I didn’t controlled my feelings I would have wanted to put myself in a fetus position and cry. Yes, I have wanted to do this many times. Not so much now, but I have in the past.
I know very well that at times those things can be a bit frustrating.
At times I see people giving me feedbacks about my blog posts on Tribber or Facebook, which is nice and all, but that’s NOT where I want them to comment. I which they’d just come to my blog and comment there, right?
One thing is sure, you can’t make people do what you want, but you can do your very best to build relationships with people that are truly going to appreciate you. And while you want to grow and may be tempted to compare yourself with other try not to overdo it.
I see some blogs which may get 90% of their comments in one day or even just a few hours, my blogs are more the kind that are building over a long stretch of time. On the first day I may have only 10 comments, but by the end of the week, it usually more than triples whatever I had on day one.
I’m a rather insightful person, and I can tell very quickly who really appreciates my content, or who comes because they want to be nice to me. Or even who don’t give a S&*t and barely comes at all even if I go regularly on their blog.
This is a good reminder to that if people can’t fool you, you might not fool them either.
Lately, I even noticed that my blog posts have been shared more by pure strangers than they have by people I know. So, I can definitely use this observation to expand myself.
Building a regular following of people who truly appreciate you and what you do, takes time. But if you manage to get there, you won’t have much to worry about what you do (to a large extent) but more about whom you know, and how many you know.
The more people know and trust you the better your online business will be.
So, what’s your take on that? Please, leave your comments below…
Photo Credits: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
46 thoughts on “It’s Not What You Do But Whom You Know”
I guess I’m already implementing one of the points “leave comments on other blogs” Well, good thing you shared this post but the mistake most folk make is “lack of patience”, i hope they’ll make your last point their highest priority.
Happy new month.
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Yes, patience can be a tough one right? However, without it I can’t see how one can succeed. Blog commenting is a must.
Thank you for commenting here and see you on the ohter side 🙂
Hi Sylviane – excellent post, and I think you’re absolutely right. I suspect one of the best ways to go about getting noticed by people who matter is to pitch for guest posts on popular blogs, though I suspect that’s very challenging. Whatever strategies you employ, patience and perseverance are most definitely required!
I agree with all the points you’ve made, particularly about reaching out and helping people and being honest and open – the more people get to know the real “you” and the more they really appreciate your support, the more likely they are to spread the word about you. Because that’s what we’re aiming for, isn’t it? For other people to start talking about us (in a nice way, of course!) rather than having to promote ourselves the whole time.
I know exactly what you mean about the motivation of people commenting on our posts – it’s very disheartening to get half-hearted, insincere comments that you know don’t really mean anything. Having said that, I think we’re fortunate in our network to have so many people who leave such thoughtful feedback on each other’s blogs.
Thanks for a great read, Sylviane – lots of food for thought, there 🙂
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When I was done with this post, I said to myself, I hope it doesn’t sound too rude, as it was written on a lot of things that I see and feel and not all of them are necessarily positive at times 🙂
On the good days, (and most of the times they’re good), I’m positive about the all thing, but once in a while I’d have a bad day, and have a feeling of wanting to ditch all my blogs 🙂 In times like these, I can only do what I preach and do my personal development stuff, which by the way, really helps me with my sanity with those blogs at times.
In order to get off that mary-go-round that I feel I’m on, I recently started to work on some things that I’m sure will make a difference in everything I’ve done so far.
I hope to read your new post soon, and have a great day!
Hi Sylviane – thanks for your reply to my comment, and I don’t think your post sounds negative or rude at all. It’s refreshing to hear someone telling it like it is – and I know just what you mean about sometimes wanting to jack it all in! It certainly sometimes feel more like a treadmill than a merry-go-round to me. I’m sure we all have those bad days, and I think it’s helpful to share the way we feel.
Thanks, Syvliane 🙂
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Ah, it makes me feel so good that not only you understand, but feel the same way at time (so I don’t feel so lonely :)) Yep I know the treadmill too 🙂
I can vouch for the title. It’s about who you know that’s going to determine the success of your blog. When you know serious people who have the same goals as you, that’s a great start.
Many times I’ve been on different blogging communities where no one is cooperating. But I do have to admit, I had stop cooperating because no one else was cooperating. Shame on me! But I’ve changed and focused on good content, as well as build relationships with others. This actually worked LOL… but on top of that, I like the people I’m building relationship with and I really feel that we are all in this together!
This is why following your tips is so important. They said you become like your 5 closest friends. Well I think we both can vouch for that in our blogging community! Although we all are in different niches, yet we all have the same goals!
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I think that you are doing very good with your blog commenting and sharing, and I’m so glad you’ve joined our facebook group lately, because heaven knows how many people there are NOT cooperating to say the least.
Last week I even noticed that only a couple of people had shared my posts on that group as I’ve been sharing their left and right 🙂 At times I not sure if I want to laugh or cry about this. But I’d rather laugh! I take the excuse of being busy not very well as I am a darn busy person myself. That’s why it’s some much about WHO you know.
Thank you for coming, Sharman and appreciate your participation.
Patience is a virtue! We cannot expect instant fame overnight. It takes time and diligence to receive comments on our blogs.
I too find that most people that come to my blog is because I went to theirs, gave a good comment and it sparked someone’s interest.
I also gained more readership when I was a guest on someone’s blog. There is always new people to meet.
I think the trick here is when a new person comes to our blog, we need to not only go to theirs and comment, but to press all those social buttons and friend them on all social sites.
This share is wonderful and if people follow it they will see their blogs starting to get more juice.
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I know that you are great with relationships and you are so faithful all the time to all my blogs, so I can imagine that’s how you are, and who wouldn’t like that!
Even though my time is limited I don’t do too bad either, but I still think that I need to find my true followers. I am more and more perceptive and I feel it when someone doesn’t come to my blog “naturally” so to speak, if you know what I mean 🙂
That’s why perseverance is what’s gonna make us make it in the end.
Thank you for coming and sharing as always.
You were right, our messages today are very similar.
I only wish all we had to do was write great content and people would flock to our posts. That old saying, build it and they will come. Well that doesn’t work in blogging either.
We have to put ourselves out there in front of enough people to get noticed and of course in my opinion blog commenting is the best way to achieve that.
As far as people not commenting on a guest post if they don’t know the blogger I’m going to have to disagree with you on that one. Take my blog for instance. There are a lot of guest bloggers I have at my place that my readers don’t know yet but they get just as many comments on their posts as I do. I guess maybe I haven’t run across this as much as you have so I’m just glad that they do get as much attention. That’s why I asked them to write for me.
I definitely agree with everything you’ve said. I had one guy comment just today and he said that the only reason he was commenting was to get noticed. He didn’t even comment on the post I had written so I let him know that he’s shooting himself in the foot with that one. I guess they’ll eventually learn though.
Thanks for this information and I’ll be sure to pass it around as well. Got to get the word out ya know!
Have a great week and hope to see you later.
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Yes, I think that you somewhat get almost as many comments when you have a guest, but remember that if you look at the amount of comments (don’t forget your comment are adding to that number). If you took off all your comments and counted only the comment and one reply per comment you would see that you win every time. I know, I’ve calculated that when I guest posted on your blog 🙂
So, whether we like it or not those things will happen, so that why building those relationships is so very important.
I’m sure that crazy guy’s got his comment deleted, right ? 🙂
Thanks for coming and have a great week!
Some of them do but some of them don’t. I’ve got some real winners on my blog but they aren’t top bloggers. Of course I do agree with you that they should be building those relationships because that will definitely help.
I left the comment because he’s new and I wanted people to see why he was there. All of his links are removed anyway because he doesn’t have enough approved comments yet to he’s not getting anything from being there, not yet at least. 🙂
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Great points you have shared here. Very valuable advice and those who follow your advice, surely will see the results. Blogging is all about networking and this is a great guide to online networking!
Now, if I must add something, I would take (and I love to say this every time I get an opportunity 🙂 ) it one step further and say this:
“It’s not what you know or who you know that is important. It’s who knows you that makes the difference.”
Why do I say that?
Well, everybody knows Obama. But those who he knows, have the real advantage. Everybody may know Neil Patel, John Maxwell or Michael Hyatt. But people who these people know, are reaping the benefits.
So, the idea is to get noticed by these famous people and rub shoulders with them to get some of their fame rubbed off on us. That’s the key. That is the goal. Don’t you think? And don’t you think that is the motto behind following all of your awesome tips here? 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
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Of course. I guess this may be one of those things of the English language, but when we say “who you know” it’s understood that we talk about the ones who know you back.
I knew and loved a French famous actor when I was a teenager, but he didn’t even know I existed, so that was of no good to me 🙂 So, of course that’s what I mean here, whom you know, meaning that they need to know you too.
Thank you for the clarification of this point.
Getting excited about reading more. Great blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Great.
Hello there and thank you.
I do not see your real name here, but maybe at your place.
For better comment approval you should use your real name though rather than Vocational Courses which sounds spammy or promotional at best. Just to give you the heads up.
I’m glad you like my blog, and thank you for coming.
I noted after being featured in an interview on bloggingtips.com last week that more and more readers are finding my blog. A fair number noted finding me from the interview, and decided to click through and learn more about me.
If I did not patiently leave comments on Zac’s blog for months and share his content, this never happens.
Help influencers, to help them, and they will leverage your presence quickly. Just make sure to do the same for your buddies. I keep my blog open for guest posting and since I generate 14,000 or more page visits daily I am helping to leverage any of my guest blogger’s presence.
Thanks for the true post!
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Thank you very much for sharing your experience here which really shows that being patient and persistent does help us build our business over time.
Some people came to the internet with the false idea that it will all go fast, but there is nothing further from the truth. Internet or not, things take time.
Thank you for coming. Very much appreciated
You have definitely given us some food for thought here Sylviane. I know exactly what you mean about writing on someone else’s blog and getting the same amount of comments. I experienced it myself when I was a guest at Harleena’s place.
Her loyal followers commented just as they did as if Harleena written it herself. And that’s because she’s always engaging with her visitors. 🙂
When I was searching for work myself I came across sites that only provided get rich quick schemes and that’s when I promised myself my site would be designed for my visitors and not just to make money…I want to be the real deal and I think it’s important to not only emphasize that to build trust but to prove it in what I promote as a genuine job opportunity.
Yes, it does take a lot of patients. I’m not where I’d like to be but I’m on my way. 🙂
Thanks for a great post Sylviane. I hope you had a very happy Thanksgiving. Have a fabulous December!
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Oh, that’s great then, but I was actually saying the opposite on my post 🙂 to which Adrienne didn’t agree either, so that’s a good sign.
What I was saying is that I’ve seen that guest bloggers didn’t get as many comments as the owner of the blog does, but I’m glad that you gals have seen different.
When I guest posted at Harleena’s I didn’t think I’ve got as many comments as she does, neither did I when I guest posted at Adrienne’s 🙂
I know that you really are honest on your site and I would definitely refer anyone who would ask me how they can find a job from home to you 🙂
Thanks for coming and have a great day, Corina!
Syviane, I am working on being more patient. I visit other blogs all the time and the truth is most of them are outside my niche.
I do not believe you should stick to your niche because it is a measure of your communication level.
In other worlds I think we all can find something to say about most topics as long as they are not some obscure subject.
I enjoy visiting other blogs for content ideas, blog design, and to see what everyone else is saying.
I know my blog is new, but that should not be a detractor because i try to write on interesting topics.
I visit blogs with 18,000,000 Alexa ranking because I feel like they have an interesting topic and sometimes they are most grateful.
I can not convince people to do what they want, so I just move forward.
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I want to confirm to you that you’re doing the right thing. We shouldn’t only go to blogs that have a better ranking than we do. I also go to blogs that are way far down there, and I’ve been to a couple of places that don’t even have data yet. On the other hand, I may stop commenting on some high level blogs if I feel that the owner of the blog is not friendly. I’ve done that too 🙂
We can only try and move forward to the best of our ability.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us here, and have a great day.
Thanks Sylviane, those are kind words. It is nice to know some bloggers are willing to go outside their realm.
I stop visiting those blogs who do not seem to care either. 🙂
It sure is Micheal.
Thanks for coming and have a great week!
You have observed correctly…most of us would prefer dealing with the person we have come to know and trust as against an otherwise total stranger. In that wise, I completely agree.
But you can get lucky too. When Adrienne reached out and shared my post on generating traffic, I did not even know she had a popular blog…however, a nice relationship started from there.
While instances like these can be rare, they cannot completely be ruled out. To be safer, I still go with you, 100%. Comment, get yourself known and establish relationship! But don’t forget to write super blog posts. It’s easier for those who want to help you!
Do have a great day!
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That’s really great that Adrienne shared your post, because when she does you’ll get some new traffic to your blog for sure. Thank it’s all about trying to keep that traffic.
Writing good content is always a must, of course, there’s no substitute for this.
Thank you for coming, and have a fantastic day!
Sylvianne – being patient is the hardest of all!
I try to leave at 5 comments per day on other blogs, some days more or less. I once read a blogger who did 100 per day, I could not image doing that many and know what I was reading and commenting on.I love helping people and do when I can. I try not to outstretch myself either as it won’t help anyone in the end.
I haven’t give the leadership thought much yet – something to consider for 2014. Thanks for sharing these useful tips with us Sylvianne and have a great week ahead.
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I beg to differ, Lisa, I totally think you’re already are a leader 🙂 I cannot imagine why you’re thinking your not. You’re blog proves it to me.
Anyone that comments on 100 blogs a day, can’t possibly read the posts he’s commenting on, so I’m not sure I would want to go that road anyway.
I read some posts that are pretty long, so I can’t hardly do more than around five a day, more or less like you. At times I bookmark them to read them even more fully, because they’re full of jewls that I need to digest way more than just read them once. But I usually do that after I comment in those cases.
I think you must be doing a good job anyway as you have a pretty good following 🙂
Thank you for coming and have a superb rest of the day.
Commenting is the most important aspect of marketing ourselves online. It is one of those things that we shouldn’t avoid at all (Other traffic generation methods are great, but none are as good as commenting, especially in terms of building relationships online).
I think comments that are received over a week are more useful (depending upon the target audience itself. For instance my target audience is established/upcoming bloggers. These bloggers know the importance of commenting and how much time it takes, and these bloggers actively comment. They may not necessarily have the time to comment on the very day the blog post is published, so they distribute their efforts over a week). Blogs that get most of the comments on the first day itself tend to be big blogs, where most of the comments are just generic (can’t exactly blame anyone for that…most of those bloggers are new bloggers).
Anyways, thank you for the tips, Sylviane 🙂
Yes, I actually like to have my comments spread about the week, and actually it’s now day 2 here and I’m at almost 30, so it means that I’ll get at least another 10 by the end of the week and maybe even more after that.
Since I have 3 blogs and being a very busy person, I kind of like not to have them all at once. I couldn’t ever keep up with it 🙂
I sure do appreciate each and every one of them though, no matter when.
Thanks for coming 🙂
Excellent! You are talking about a very interesting aspect 😉
Once I used to comment on lot of blogs and on the very day published, wishing to get to know about ’em and plus, it was fun. I had so much time to spend that time too. AND you know, I can’t be a one liner either.
I had to filter out those who coming just because of I commented there after some attempts, and some replies implied that they didn’t wanna know what others think, but increase their counts. Yeah, they were talented folks though. Anyway, trust comes first for me and I don’t wanna find my loyalty as a weakness either 🙂
Ah… Patience is always underrated as I feel, Sylviane. Oftentimes I’ve found it was the best solution and yet I was too late at some points too. But always had alternatives and could learn through mistakes. I must mention that patience has been a key feature when it comes to my services and hit big gigs.
I’d better let others decide if I’m real or honest 🙂 But I always like helping people eventhough they can end up in heartaches. Anyway, I meet good ones more often 🙂
I believe the bloggers and online business owners will take your tips and build their success accordingly Sylviane. Unless they are naturally devoted into some aspects you mentioned, now it’s time to learn and apply. Isn’t it? 🙂
You have a lovely weekend ahead dear 🙂 It’s already Friday here.
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There is no doubt that your comments are noticed as they are long and full of thoughts related to the content.
When I first started working online I had no idea how important relationships were in the blogging world, but once I found out it was my first and foremost concern, because I understood that is was the base of all online businesses.
Thank you for coming and so glad you’re back!
A very well written post. 🙂
I’m sure it is going to be helpful to a lot of people, especially if someone is new to blogging and doesn’t know what to expect.
Patience is definitely an asset. It takes time to get to know and trust people and for them to do the same with you. In fact, everything that is good and worthwhile takes time. That’s what I remind myself, especially when very busy… even to be patient with myself. What helps me to be more patient is to schedule my time.
I appreciate you. Have a nice weekend.
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Yes, patience is very important and I agree with you, anything worthwhile will take time, but that’s OK, because we know that’s part of the deal. And when we have finally built that trust, wonderful things can and will happen.
Thanks for coming and have a wonderful week ahead!
Thanks for reminding us this important aspect in successful blogging. I was listening to a video the other day by Jon Morrow in which he laid out the ugly truth, that most blogs are destined to bite it’; not because the content was crap, but because the blogger failed to make the right connections to gain visibility.
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Yes, there are still many bloggers who don’t understand the importance of connecting with others. There are quite a few blogs where I’ve been several times and where the blogger has yet to come to my blog yet.
Bloggers like these really send me the message that they don’t really care about building relationships. I don’t even take it personally, I bet they do the same things with many other people.
This is really important. People need to understand how critical it is to get to know people. I think it goes back to consistency and working regularly in blogging and in communicating with people making sure they know the blogger is available to them and for them. Your tips will definitely help people understand it *is* who you know.
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Yes, it sure is of the most importance even though I still shake my head when I see people that don’t even try.
Thanks for you input and have a great day!
Hi SylvianeI agree with everything you have said. You know it is not just in blogging that hanging out with the right people and who you know matters it is the same in business. It is about connections.I think I have told you the story of Robert Kiyosaki and Rich Dad Poor Dad. He was determined to get on Oprah\’s show as he knew that would give him such a boost. He did and he never looked back. A great post Sylviane. And yes it does take time so patience is necessary. :-)Have a good week.Sue
Yes, blogging and business are one and the same thing, because blogging is our business. It seems that some people haven’t quite get that yet, but I think that eventually they have to get a waking up call.
Thank you for coming, and have a wonderful week ahead.
I also agree! Make your voice be heard and let people know who you are and in turn know them. Connections are important! Very useful information for us bloggers!
Yes, it’s very important, indeed!
Wow, this is awesome, making one’s voice heard and getting to know others in a niche is important for the growth of any business. and just like Lynne rightfully said, Connection is important.
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Yes, connections are important, and it’s very easy to detect those who are being sincere and those who aren’t.
Thanks for you input.
Authentic information and your topics are always interesting. By following you few months I learn so much new and authentic information and tips. I think you are absolutely right in your points. Thanks for sharing this.
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