Today I have the pleasure to feature another law of attraction expert, in my personal development category. Here is my quote for her:
Take a law of attraction expert who is using what she teaches in her own life, and you get Kelli Cooper
So take it away, Kelli…
For a concept that is pretty simple at the core, many people find their efforts at ‘working’ with the law of attraction quite frustrating.
After actually allowing ourselves to want something better, and then having no luck in getting these things…that’s painful, more painful than if we never bothered at all, and resigned ourselves to all the unwanted in our life, thinking that is just how it is.
Here’s the thing. There really isn’t too much to the law of attraction…what we focus on expands, and our predominant thoughts, feelings and beliefs, determine the experiences that are drawn to us. So we are told to just think about what we want, and it will come.
Hmm….a bit more to it than this. How law of attraction works in theory, and how the manifesting process may play out in the ‘real world,’ can be quite different. We have lots of blocks in the form of limiting beliefs, fears and all that other good stuff.
There is a lot of misconceptions about what the law of attraction is, and that certainly messes with our manifesting. When you think about the actual process of manifestation, and all that gets orchestrated to bring you ‘stuff,’ it is pretty complex, and I don’t think we can fully understand it. I would highly suggest making peace with that…it will take you very far in this journey, trust me on that one.
Between how manifesting in the ‘real world’ can differ from theory, and our mind’s interference, I have found that it is not uncommon to struggle, so don’t worry. You’re not stupid or incapable of changing your life.
Because I have seen so many great changes since more consciously working with my energy, I am very passionate about helping others do the same, and that is why the law of attraction is the focus of my blog and coaching practice. And on that note, I would like to share a few thoughts on common issues that can mess with your manifesting.
Thinking the Law of Attraction Is Some Sort of Tool
The Secret was awesome in that it really brought LOA ‘mainstream’ if you will. But because many people had not been aware of this Universal law, it was easy to get the impression that the law of attraction was some sort of ‘tool’ that could be utilized like some sort of magic wand to change your life. People always lament how the law of attraction isn’t ‘working’ for them.
But it isn’t something that ‘works’ or ‘doesn’t work.’ It just is. You can’t do anything to make it ‘work.’ It isn’t about anything you are really ‘doing.’ It is all about what you are ‘being.’
It isn’t like there are two options—live a life at the mercy of outside forces, and have no control, or ‘use’ the law of attraction. You have to remember you have been creating this whole time, but before, you were not doing it consciously and deliberately.
Learning about the law of attraction helps you do it more consciously and deliberately. And in order to do that, we usually have to do some work on ourselves, to make us a better match, to all the things on which we have set our sights.
You’re Ignoring Negative Emotion
With all the focus on positivity, it is easy to get the impression that negative emotion must be stuffed down into the depths of your being, never to see the light of day again, lest you are totally screwed, and will never get what you want, because you are a ‘negative’ person.
Yes, the more positive we can be, and I mean truly positive, not just pretending, the more easily things can come to us. That state of positivity is oozing with trust and all sorts of warm, fuzzy feelings, that will lead to all sorts of great things coming to you, that mirror those feelings right back to you.
But, if you have negative emotion, you have to deal with it. You can’t be afraid of it. The only way to truly transform it, is to dive in, and deal with it. You can’t go from being riddled with fear, anger, resentment and all that other yuck, to just all of a sudden being super-happy. In theory that is totally possible, but for most of us, there will be some steps in between.
You may not be able to just get ‘all happy’ after having suffered in various ways for so long. Getting law of attraction in theory usually won’t be enough to allow you to totally just release your negative beliefs, and adopt their polar opposites whole-heatedly.
So if you have been struggling, you have to honestly ask yourself if there is emotion you haven’t been dealing with, if you are not feeling as great as you claim.
Remember there is a big difference between generating negative emotion by turning your attention towards things that trigger it, and dealing with it when it is already there. Our emotions are very valuable in that they tell us where we are focusing, and as such, can help us work through any blocks, that may be preventing the changes we want to see.
You Worry Feeling Better Now will Cancel Your ‘Order’
When it comes to your mind fighting you on this whole law of attraction thing, this is one area where it can really dig in its heels.
Since the law of attraction states you can only receive that which you are match to now energetically, we come to discover the importance of feeling good (or at least better) now, feeling like we would feel if we had what we wanted, appreciating the good in our life now so we can draw more of it to us, etc…
But, because there is a part of us that believes the feelings of ‘wanting’ and ‘needing’ something are somehow what brings it to us, we have a hard time of letting go of these feelings. We worry that if we feel like we no longer ‘want’ something, it won’t come.
We may worry the Universe is peeking in on us feeling all better, even in the absence of our much-desired ‘stuff,’ and will conclude we must not want it anymore. I think this tendency, in large part, stems from the belief that some powerful force is standing watch over all of us, and deciding what we can and can’t have, and if we make our desires known strongly enough, it will throw us a bone eventually.
But that isn’t how it works. The process of attraction is mechanical…input and output. The Universe isn’t making any sort of evaluation on anything or judging. It’s not your momma deciding what’s best for you, etc… When I use the term ‘Universe’ I have no intention of humanizing it in any way.
I don’t think we have adequate language to really discuss phenomena such as this. But anyway… don’t be afraid to feel happier now, worrying that will ‘cancel’ the order. The higher you are vibing now, the more stuff you will get that reflects this higher vibration back to you.
Too Much Focus on Thoughts and Not Enough on Feeling
Our thought isn’t really what creates our reality… it goes a lot deeper than that.
Just thinking about things doesn’t mean those exact things will happen. Think of all the stuff in your life that has happened, wanted and unwanted, that never crossed your mind previously.
Sure, thinking about what we want specifically in a positive way, gives our mind something on which to focus. Our conscious mind is thinking all day, and it behooves us to direct those thoughts as best we can.
Many people think the law of attraction states you can just think about something and bam, there it is. That can happen a lot, but again, we have a lot of resistance to work through.
It doesn’t matter how many intentions you have stated, it doesn’t matter how much you think about something, if you don’t feel like it is truly possible, if you don’t truly feel the feelings that lie behind what you want now, these things can’t come.
It doesn’t matter how many ‘tools’ you use to direct your focus, if said focus is not generating genuine positive emotion. Remember that things like affirmations are just tools to help shift energy, they can’t make anything happen for you.
So again, you have to evaluate how you have been feeling.
How are you actually feeling in regards to your desired manifestations?
You Don’t Realize What You are Really After
No matter what you want to attract, you are after a feeling. We all want to feel happy.
Whatever it is you want, you want it because you think it will make you feel a certain way. Your mind has translated that energy into specific things, and as such, it is very insistent these are the exact things you want.
And in certain cases, the argument is particularly compelling… money, relationships and wanting to get married so you can start having children, for example. But again, no matter how specific a desire, and how unlikely it seems there is no real ‘substitute’, you are still after the feeling. There are no exceptions there.
And the more insistent we are on the specifics of our manifestation, the more we block it. Because it is really hard to feel better now when we are convinced that we must have this thing to be happy. We are very insistent on exactly what has to manifest for us to feel like we have gotten what we wanted. We can’t cede control in any real way.
But, when you realize, it is the feeling you are after, you find you can produce those feelings in lots of different ways.
You realize there are lots of things you can do to help cultivate those feelings now. And again, the Universe will deliver all sorts of things that match these feelings. In many cases, it will be the exact thing you want, and in many cases, it will be something even better.
Again, doesn’t matter how specific the manifestation… you want feelings.
Find a way to feel them now.
Release on the idea that the things you want now are the exact things you want, and the only way you can be happy.
Unwillingness to Feel Better Now
Again, your mind likes to put up a fight with many of the aspects involved in this whole conscious creation process.
It feels very justified in pointing out all that is unwanted, and then focusing your attention on that.
That stuff isn’t good, and you are supposed to sit there and feel badly about it.
I get it…
It’s understandable to feel unhappy because things aren’t to your liking. There are things we prefer and don’t prefer. That sense of contrast helps us decide what we would personally like to see more of in our experience, and from there, we can begin the process of allowing it into our life.
You may not feel great all the time. Feeling good just for the sake of it, is not easy. I won’t lie. You don’t have to be perfect at it. We all have our moments of being fed up, feeling sorry for ourselves and what have you.
But if you want to create your reality more deliberately, you don’t have a choice in the matter when it comes to the willingness to feel better now, no matter what is happening.
The Universe can’t defy your vibration, and bring you what you want because you want it, are a good person or are trying really hard.
I don’t mean that so sound harsh…
It is just a reality that you must contend with when it comes to conscious creation. You can have whatever you want… you are worthy and deserving of it all.
But in order to let in the most awesome versions of things, and to have a less ‘random’ experience where you let in a whole mix of things, you have to be willing to feel better now.
That higher vibe will make you a match for all sorts of great inspirations, ideas, encounters and opportunities that will move you from where you are now to where you would rather be.
I hope you enjoyed this post and thank you Sylviane for allowing me to present it here.
Please, leave your thoughts down below.
19 thoughts on “Law of Attraction: 5 Common Manifesting Roadblocks”
Excellent post Kelli, and I’m sure that this article can help anyone who is still confused about the law of attraction.
I like especially how you explained that the law of attraction is not something you can turn on or off, it’s always here.
I often try to emphasis this as well as there are still many folks that haven’t got that fact very well yet.
Thanks for being my guest and great job!
I am so glad you enjoyed the post and think it will be helpful for your readers. Thanks again for the opportunity!
Kelli invites you to read..Law of Attraction: What It REALLY Means to Act ‘As If’ (Free E-Book)
What a wonderful guest you have today, so nice to see Kelli here. I love what she shares and the way she shares her information so I was also eager to read this one.
Great to see you here Kelli, another wonderful post.
I know so many people who remain confused about how the law of attraction really works. As you mentioned here, it’s not that it doesn’t work for some people because it’s working all the time. It just may at times not be bringing into our existence what we want and there can be so many different reasons for that.
One of them if not having worked on all the stuff that continues to hold us back from getting what we want and the other is not being patient that it will appear. I know that we live in an instant gratification society so that can be a huge problem for most. Kind of reminds me of blogging if you know what I mean. 😉
Thanks for sharing this with us and I’ll be sure to share this one as well ladies.
Hope your week is going well for you both.
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So glad you enjoyed the post. You are right about there being so much confusion about the LOA. At the core it is relatively simple but as for what we need to do to make the shifts that are necessary, it is easy to feel a bit lost.You have a great week too!
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Yes, it’s been my pleasure having Kelli at my blog for my guest of the month, because she knows the LOA well.
This is where many people stumble. They do their little positive affirmations and they say it’s not working, but what they don’t realize is that the law of attraction doesn’t work based on your words, but based on your feelings.
One example that I like to give that usually helps people understand is battered women. Usually a battered woman will keep on attracting the same type of violent guys, now do they consciously say or think that they want a guy that hit them? No, of course they don’t, but that’s what they vibrate with every single cell because of what they’ve experienced, that’s what they known, thus that’s what they attract. That “feeling” of being abused, brings on more abuse.
Once you understand that, you’ve understood the whole LOA process. As Kelli said at the beginning or her article, it’s actually easy to understand.
Thanks for coming and I’m glad you enjoyed Kelli’s post.
Hey Kelli and Sylviane,
Great post on the LOA and I really like the point you made on focusing on feeling more so than your thoughts. It reminds me on how you become great at certain activities like playing the piano. It’s not enough to just know the details, scales, chords, etc… these details are great but not enough to become a well established pianist. You have to feel for it. The more feel you get through your fingers the better you become. You have to ask yourself why there are many pianist that don’t know how to read or write piano but can play it like they do.
Thanks for sharing Kelli! Have a good one!
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Glad you enjoyed the post and I think that is a great example. There is a tendency to make the process of attraction an intellectual thing, but it’s an emotional one.
kelli invites you to read..Law of Attraction: The Low Down on Visualizing
Yes, words and even thoughts without true feelings won’t bring you what you want in life.
There are even ways to remove your feelings from bad situations, so that will help you get out the pit you may be in. I’ve been through that and it will be the message of my next book.
Thanks for coming by.
Hi Kelli and Sylviane
Very good point to remember which is why we are always saying it doesn’t bring to us what we really want. Little did we know it is. Feelings is what we really want. We are so inclined to know what would make those feelings be right by having something material.
We just sold our house recently and the only logical thing to do was rent a house. After the initial shock of having to rent and not buy, it made perfectly good sense. We wanted peace and freedom from having to just get by and now we can do things. Sure I still want all the things that luxury would bring but getting out from under the albatross has been a blessing. Still don’t like the idea of renting as it is not ours to do with what we want and someday we will buy again but now I am not in such a hurry. Do not want to go back to those feelings of having my back against the wall.
I wanted a place in the country with acres and flat land with a great view. I got it and I could afford to buy it, but I am not in love with the house. The property is 3.8 acres with a great view of Mt. Shasta and Mt. Lassen and it is in the country. When I think of what we left behind it is beginning to fade as to the plus side of what we had, wouldn’t trade it back. There for awhile I thought we were like hamsters on a wheel never able to slow down or get off.
Yep, feelings is what we really want and I guess that is why those that have everything are still not happy.
Well, long time no see 🙂
That’s exactly that, people keep saying that they don’t get what they want, because what they want and what they send out to the universe are more times than not totally opposite. They want one thing, but they have bad “feelings” about what is, and that’s why they are stuck.
So each time you want something, make sure you are sending a matching feeling. Try to never focus on what is, because that’s the pitfall.
Thanks for coming by.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it is a great example of not getting too attached to what a manifestation has to look like, and how things can actually be better than we initially think because like you said, this situation actually gave you a lot of feelings that you found pleasant and from there, things will only continue to gain steam.
kelli invites you to read..Law of Attraction: The Low Down on Visualizing
Kelli, this is a good post really at explaining what the law of attraction is. I’ve read a few articles & listened to a few people talk about manifesting but I really can’t wrap my head around the concept. The notion of speaking to the universe and the universe giving you what you want seems odd to me. It’s like I become the creator and the universe is now an intelligent entity that cares about me. It seems spiritual yet odd.
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Well, what we don’t truly understand always seems odd.
Think about people living on this planet only 100 year ago let’s say, and think about the computer you’re using to read this words, gosh, would that have been odd to them, wouldn’t it?
There is that French comic movie where some people of today are landing back in middle age, and one of them has a baby toy that makes noise when you squeeze it. When he passed to the back time machine that toy stayed in his pocket, and when those old days people see the toy they are in total fear, saying that the guy is a sorcerer. Well, if those people saw something as simple as a little baby toy, they would be frighten just like that, wouldn’t they? They would not understand.
See what I mean here?
What we don’t know, what we don’t understand, is always odd, no matter what it is.
But if you believe that there is a force higher and more powerful than you out there, then the law of attraction/Universe shouldn’t be that odd anymore.
Thanks for sharing your input.
It does seem odd. The one thing I would say here is that don’t look at the Universe as some ‘being’ you are asking to give you something. I see the process of attraction as ‘mechanical’ just delivering output (our experience) based on input (our thoughts, feelings and beliefs). How it really works at the deepest levels is not something I think we can fully understand and luckily we don’t need to, to reap the benefit!
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Thanks for the reply Kelli. You & Sylviane both make good points. I have a very analytical mind & want to understand everything so I don’t like it when I encounter something that I can’t understand. But, as you said, maybe this is just one of those things that can’t completely be understood. I’ll be the first to admit there are many other natural laws I don’t understand.
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Hey again Peter,
You’re welcome. At least you’re very open.
I like what Kelli said about not seeing the Universe as a being you are asking too, and that in turns gives you. It’s just something that is. Period.
Have you ever thought of the miracle of giving birth? Even though the process can be explained, we will never know why it does happen in the first place. The Universe and the Law of Attractions are the same things.
What an awesome post you’ve got here.
Thanks for the re-enforcement of these principles; I’ve read The Law of Attraction, The Secrets, The Power and The Magic and you did wonderfully well to re-establish these truths.
It’s more about what we feel than what we affirm or think.
As a matter of fact, to really know what you believe, affirm or think, you’ve got to examine what you feel.
It’s impossible to think right and feel wrong or bad.
So how we know if our energy per time is positive or negative is by examining how we feel.
So we are to go ahead and feel how we want to feel and it will manifest in real life with time.
And thanks Sylviane for bringing Kelli here; this is my first time on your blog and I so love what you’ve got going here, so much positive energy on your blog.
I’ll be a regular here, going forward.
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So glad you’ve got to know me through Kelli’s post here and hope to see you again.
That’s right, our feelings are a good thermometer, so to speak, to get to know where we are in our thoughts and what we are bringing into our life.
Thanks for coming,
Thank you so much for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the posts. You are so right in doing all that examination on your feeling. When we understand that is the core, it does become a lot easier to align with what we want, and to see what may be blocking it.
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