Letting Go Of Negative Emotions – Easier Said Than Done?

Letting go of negative emotions is probably one of the hardest thing to do.  As humans, we tend to hold on to negative emotions such as hate, anger, revenge, grudge, and so forth.  Since so many of us tend to nurture such negative emotions, I thought that it would be a good idea to name and explain three of the most destructive emotion there is and how you can get rid of them forever.

Hate

Hate is a very negative emotion.  People in general tend to believe that hate is the opposite of love, but hate is not the opposite of love.  Do you necessarily hate what you don’t love? Of course, not!  The opposite of love is indifference.

Need an example? Let’s say that I do not LOVE children, does that mean that I hate them?  Heck no!  I am just not the type of woman who wants to have a child so much that I would go around the world to look for the best fertilization doctor.  Or I just think that children are small people with loving or not so loving personalities just like adults – that doesn’t make me hate them in any way, shape or form.

You see, hate is not the opposite of love.  Hate is a very negative emotion and it’s a destructive one.  Hate is not the result of not loving something.  Hate is the result of deep resentment that can be the result of jealousy, anger or other negative feelings and emotions.

How Can you Get Rid of Hate?

If you feel that you hate someone, first go to the source of your hate and find out the real reason why you hate that person.  Most likely, you will find out that what you hate is not the “person” itself, but what that person did.

Once you come to that realization, just for a moment, transfer that hate from the person to the “act” that such person did.  Once you’ve done this correctly, you will realize that it doesn’t make any sense to hate an action or a thing.  Such realization will help you see your “hate” as being ridiculous and useless and it will help you to let it go forever.

Those that mean that it’s easy to do? No, it’s not, but it’s a way out of hate.  It’s a way to be able to rationalize and see that hate from another point of view.  So, instead of hate being in control of YOU, you are in control of that hate emotion.

Anger

Anger is a very negative and dangerous emotion.  Anger is a feeling that many people keep inside and which turns into depression if not released.  In many cases, depression is anger inward.  In some cases, when anger is not dealt with properly it can explode in disastrous ways.

We can develop anger when we feel that we have not been dealt with fairly, when we feel that we have been cheated, disrespected, stolen from, lied to, etc…   There are so many difference reasons why we can develop anger, that this page wouldn’t be long enough to name them all.

How Can you Get Rid of Anger?

You need to remember that anger affects ONLY the one who is angry, not the one you are angry with.  When you are angry with someone, they do not feel anything.  Most of the time they are not even aware of it.  The only one who is affected by such anger is the angry person.

When you are angry with someone, write it down and burn it, or shout it all out in your living room, transform it into energy to at the gym, knock down a punching bowl, etc…  Such actions will help you take  that anger out of you instead of keeping it inside which is the last thing you want to do.

If you are angry with someone you can also write them a letter explaining the why you are so angry with them.  You can send them that letter or you can just burn it.  Either way this will help you release and let go of that anger.  Once you’ve let it go, let it go forever. Do not come back to it.  If you feel that it wants to come back, do the process all over again until it’s totally gone.

Revenge

Revenge is wanting to give back in the most possible negative way. People have revengeful feelings when something bad was done to them.  They want to do something bad in return to the person who wronged them in some way.  Revenge is a very negative emotion, indeed!

Revenge is also a very dangerous emotion because it’s using the laws of the universe for the worst possible outcome.  Why is that?  The laws of the universe work to give back multiple-fold what you send out.  When you send out revengeful thoughts or actions it’s coming back to you hundredfold.  According to the laws of the universe, you cannot be successful while having revenge thoughts or act on it. That’s just impossible.

How Can you Get Rid of Revenge Feelings?

When you take revengeful actions you are getting bad feedbacks.  No good deeds can come back your way went you take revenge, because it’s the law.

On the other hand, forgiveness and letting go does bring peace of mind, and peace of mind is a priceless  thing to have. But how can you go from feelings of revenge to peace of mind?

Visualize your feelings of revenge as something very dangerous, like a very deep pit hole.  At the bottom of that pit hole there is the person you want to take revenge against.  However, you know that in order to take your revenge you need to jump down that pit hole, but if you do you will hurt yourself very badly, even die, maybe.  So, what do you do?

Unless you are completely crazy or suicidal, you will run as far away from that pit hole as you can, and you will forget about trying to take revenge.  You will never even want to think about that pit hole ever again.

This is just an example, but this is what you might need to do if you have strong feelings of revenge.  See a big DANGER sign on it and keep off.  This will subside your revengeful desires at bay and most of all help you to move on. Revenge is a very dangerous dark pit hole, and no one should be willing to jump in it.

So, that’s your turn now.  Do you have a great methods to get rid of bad emotions? Have you or are you still suffering from such emotions?

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18 Comments

  • Ken Pickard says:

    Sylviane,

    This is a strong post and well crafted around the strong negative emotions. My typical set of emotions allows me to get along well with others…pretty easily. But I do admit to having a few of these issues from time to time.

    I pray for the person who i may be in conflict with. It’s not always easy and sometimes it might be done a little down the road, but it certainly helps. However since i have been working on myself more over the past several years I have come to understand why people are wired the way that they are.

    And most of the time i can figure a persons core personality within a couple of minutes. This takes away my emotions to counter their emotions. When that happens it’s pretty easy to see why they may have triggered something in me and I can release it.

    Ken Pickard
    The Network Dad

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hey Ken,

      It seems to me that you are a man of great insight :) Of course, we all suffer with negative emotions from time to time, and yes, when someone did you wrong it’s not easy to forgive and forget. Far from it.

      However, I find it easier to do so by applying some of the tips I am talking about in this post, like remembering that if you choose to forgive, it’s for myself, because at the end of the day, I am the one carrying that burden, not them.

      Thanks for passing by Ken, and have a great day!

  • AdrienneTwitter: adriennesmith40 says:

    I am SO glad Sylviane that I’m way past having these types of emotions. Okay, the last time I was extremely angry was when my Dad died. There was a lot of hate mixed in there for some people as well. I spent two years trying to “work through my feelings” so it can really overtake you if you let it.

    I’m in such a better place now and have learned to attract more positive minded people into my life. Although I do know that life happens and can set us off unintentionally, your suggestions are very helpful for times like that. I pray I won’t need them though.

    As always, wonderful information shared Sylviane.

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne invites you to read..The Secret Of Making Great YouTube VideosMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Adrienne,

      We are all humans and having positive and “negative” emotions is something we all are going through. I was bullied a lot in school, it affected my whole life and behaviors for a long, long time, so revenge is an emotion that I had to deal with a lot. I would imaging those people dying slowly, if you know what I mean :)

      But I am over it, now I feel more sorry for this type of people, they are the ones miserable. Now I am in a rather good place.

  • Carol LynnTwitter: carollynnrivera says:

    Hi Sylviane, this was a great read because it’s something I think everyone can relate to. For me personally, the funny thing is I rarely have negative feelings towards a person but rather towards an object or situation. Like if the computer doesn’t turn on fast enough or the phone rings too many times or it’s raining when I planned to be outside. I think it’s probably born of frustration but it manifests as hatred and anger. I hate my computer and am really pissed at the phone!I guess in a way it’s good that I don’t direct it at a person but the bad thing is that of course, it still affects me. That’s when I have to remind myself, like you said, that it’s impossible to be mad at a
    Carol Lynn invites you to read..Everything I Need To Know About Business I Learned From Cheap, Demanding, Difficult ClientsMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi carol,

      That’s right! Please, don’t me angry at an object, because you are the one who suffers, not the object, obviously :)

      Since you mentioned the rain I’ve got to tell you an illustration that I’ve learn from a mentor of mine…

      If it’s raining outside and all you are doing is reading or watching TV at home the rain will make you “indifferent”. If it’s raining outside and you are a farmer growing crop, the rain is going to make you “happy”. If it’s raining outside and it’s your wedding day, the rain is going to make you “sad”.

      You see the rain has no meaning. It’s you and only you who give a meaning to the rain. That’s what we do all the time we give meaning to something that hasn’t any :)

  • Nicky says:

    Wow, powerful post Sylviane – I must admit when I was younger I used to get angry with silly things and look for blame anywhere other than myself. It was actually the network marketing industry that encouraged the path of self development and I guess self discovery too – that and having children and wanting to be able to teach them the path to happiness and success.

    I’m not out of the woods yet in terms of never getting angry, but it’s definitely a vast improvement and I am enjoying the journey!

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Nicky,

      Yes, we are all on a journey, aren’t we? we are still working at getting better. Even if teach others, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work at it anymore, because we do.

      Thanks for passing by and I hope you enjoyed it :)

  • Sonia says:

    I tend to be more even-kill and try to let things roll over my head. I can’t stand miserable people and try to avoid them like the plague. I learned a long time ago that anger only begets anger. People stay clear of the raft already on its way when you walk around with those kinds of emotions on your shoulder.

    Do I get angry sometimes, sure, I would be lying if I said I was happy all the time. What I try and do is figure out why I feel that way and find he positive solution to bring me back to my zen self.

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Sonia,

      You are so right. Miserable people should be avoided like the plague, because as a matter of fact misery is contagious and people like this brings you down.

      Yes, we all get angry, but the ones who realize it and try to snap out of it are the winners all the way. I am glad you are succeeding in doing this, Sonia :) it’s so important.

  • Harleena SinghTwitter: harleenas says:

    Great post Sylviane!

    You are so right there, getting rid of negative emotions sure is easier said than done, and sometimes even when we do want to get rid of them- we just aren’t able to make ourselves do it!

    Hate surely is a very powerful word, and often misunderstood just as you mentioned in your post- it surely isn’t the opposite of love- it is much more intense! And yes, we don’t hate the person but the deeds or acts they do.

    Anger if not released can cause many ailments as well, and needs to be dealt with care. Your suggestions to deal with anger are apt, though most people don’t take these methods willingly and would get right back at you, resulting in more anger. I guess the person who is angry would surely feel better with the suggseted ways, but the other person who need to be open enough to hear the angry person shout or read his letters and be able to understand him. if it’s a partner things are better as each one can understand the other, but with others it becomes a little tough.

    Revenge is horrible indeed, though dealing with it again what you have to teach yourself to do.

    I guess such negative emotions are feelings we do have sometimes and we ourselves have to learn to find ways to overcome them. Sooner done the better!

    Thanks for sharing :)
    Harleena Singh invites you to read..Prayer and Fasting for a Better LifeMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Harleena,

      Yes, hate and anger are very bad emotions and I have literally seen in my life people eaten up by them to the point that they developed some diseases. Such feelings are more serious than a lot of people even want to think.

      It’s not always easy, but we’ve got to try to get rid of them at any cost.

      Thanks for coming by, Harleena :)

  • Ilka Flood says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    Very insightful post! I used to get angry quite often when I was young. The way it would happen was that I kept everything bottled up inside until the slidest thing just set me off and I exploded. Usually the poor person I unloaded upon had no clue why in the world I was so angry.

    I must have mellowed out as I got older because I can’t even remember the last time I got really angry. Or maybe it’s Oldtimer’s setting in and I just forget :)

    One thing’s for sure, the only person who’s miserable is the one who’s angry.

    Thanks for sharing this!

    Ilka

  • Akos Fintor says:

    Hello Sylviane,

    After reading the book “Stillness Speaks” realized how I can deal with these strong negative emotions.
    That is taking my “ego” out of the equation.

    great tips!

    Akos

  • Sylviane Nuccio says:

    Hi Ilka,

    As a matter of fact, that is exactly how a mentor of mine a while back explained about anger. It’s something we keep inside and like a pressure cooker, when it’s too much to contain it’s got to come out.

    I am glad that you don’t feel angry anymore, because as you said the only one who suffers is the one who’s angry.

    When I was very young I also built a lot of anger due to bullying in school, and again the ones who paid the price later were not the people who deserved it. Like you, I cooled down a lot with time and maturity.

  • Sabrina Sabino says:

    I do get rid of negative emotions rather quickly. In fact, I’ve really made some improvements over the years. But once in a while, esp. that time of the month…something or someone’s going to piss me off and I’m going to blow. Work in progress…!

    • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

      Hi Sabrina,

      Congratulations on being able to get rid of bad emotions fast, that’s great :)

      Nice to meet you here. Where did you find me? I will come visit you right now. Let me know how you find the book.

  • Sylviane Nuccio ~ Life Coach says:

    Hi Ouedkniss,

    Thanks for coming by. Do you speak French? I see that your site is all in French :)

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