One thing is for sure, is that I will never forget the year 2014, because it was a turning point for me. We tend to remember turning point years all throughout our life, don’t we?
For me, if someone would ask me what were some memorable years in my life, so far, I would think 1987, 1993, 1995, 2000, 2006, 2011, and 2014.
During those years some very significant events happened in my life.
2014 was a very difficult year for me. But also a turning point.
Handling losses
Losing those we love is the sad side of life.
Life is not always about getting, it’s also about losing.
Whether we like it or not.
But it’s how we react to those losses and what we learn from them that will make us a better person. Meaning that’s how we grow.
I’m not going to go much into intimate details here, because this is just a blog post. For more intimate details, you’re going to need to read my upcoming book, sometimes mid-2015. That’s the plan.
This year, I’ve lost both my mother, and my four legged child, my cat Sophie of 14 years (she died 19 days before her 14th birthday). N
Now for those who don’t have pet, on don’t care so much about them, you may not understand, but for those who do, I know that you do understand.
Since I don’t have anyone in my life, relationship wise (willingly) at this point, and no children either (human ones), I think I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that with those two loses I’ve lost my world.
Yes, I’ve lost my world as it was before I lose them.
The reason why I haven’t written an article about my mother or my cat, yet, is very simple; I just CANNOT do this at this point. But I will when the time is right.
I’ve known that my mother was on borrowed time since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer late 2006, and my real grieving for her started late 2009 into 2010, when I had already lost her. However, it doesn’t mean that I got used to the fact that she is now really gone, physically as well.
I don’t care, how old you are, when both your parents are gone, you feel like an orphan. The orphan that you actually are at that point. No matter what.
Earlier this year, on March 6th to be exact, I’ve learned that Sophie (my cat) had a malignant tumor. I was told that she had weeks to live, but with all the care, and prayers that this little rascal received, we managed to turn weeks into months. But on August 29th, she gave up.
At that point I locked myself in my bedroom for 3 days with a bag of popcorn and a bottle of liquor, which didn’t do its job at all. Meaning, I wasn’t a bit drunk whatsoever.
My friend Donna, told me that because my body was in such shock and shamble, even alcohol didn’t work on me at that point.
Personal Development was a Huge Help Handling my Challenges
I can honestly say that the main reason why I didn’t totally lost it after months of stress and anguish that this year brought on to me since March, was because of personal development.
My personal development knowledge and training has been key in keeping me together during all these past months of otherwise hell.
Yes, I cried a lot. Every single day, for that matter (still do), and I prayed a lot too, but my insights did help me keeping myself in one piece.
That’s why I can only encourage you to find out more about personal development.
If you want to give yourself a meaningful gift this Christmas season, may be consulting a coach that could help you with your life, could be the best thing you could do for yourself.
I don’t know, just saying.
Reminder: I offer a 30 minute free consultation over the phone
As I’m writing these words, I am actually helping a couple of people whose lives have been in shamble for a very long time now, and where emotions have been and still are in total control of their lives.
Lately, I’ve realized how much people need help.
But I totally understand that, because I have been there.
it’s just that I have finally managed to be way more in control of my life, and my emotions.
Does that mean that this year was a breeze for me?
Oh gosh, no. But I still remained in control.
No need for doctors, pills or antidepressants.
All I needed was that bottle of alcohol to numb the fresh wound, but I’m way too much in control to even let that become a habit (smile).
I considered myself lucky to know some things that have helped me keep myself in check, and no matter how much grieving I went through and still going through, I’m not lost in the dark.
As a matter of fact, I’m helping people who don’t even know how fortunate they are.
Big Plans for 2015
When your life changes as drastically as mine did this year, you definitely start looking at your life and start asking questions such as, what keeps me doing what I’ve been doing these past few years?
Well, I know what kept me put these past few years, but right now, I have nothing, no reason at all to stay where I am.
At this point, I can actually pack and go anywhere I see fit. And that’s what I’m going to do. I decided to take a whole sabbatical year in Europe.
No, it’s not going to be France, even though, sure I’ll be going to France, probably next summer, but the target that I set for myself to settle in for a year, is Italy. In Rome, to be exact.
For me it’s actually also a spiritual trip, because Rome was one of the cities where my parents spent their honeymoon as they toured parts of Italy.
People say that Rome is full of the spirits of old times, for me it will be double dosed.
For me, this is a spiritual full-circle type thing. Maybe not something everyone would understand, but certainly something that has meaning to me.
Change is Good
For sure, losing my mom and child wasn’t good for me. It never will, but I know that they will never leave me.
As you can see, if you’ve been visiting my personal development blog in the past, the blog has got a new home, and that’s also part of my new beginnings.
It will be much easier to travel with one blog, than with three, and gosh do I have some nice goals in store for you guys when it comes to the content that I will deliver in 2015.
So, stay tuned.
I hope you’ll enjoy the change and the progression of things at my place.
I hope you also will be able to reflect on this past year of yours, and think about how you could make the next one better.
Let me know about your plans in the comment area below, or whatever you’d like to share as you reflected on my words here.
Reminder: I offer a 30 minute free consultation over the phone
Hi Sylviane
This is life full of different things and different situations. It is full of happiness and sorrows, sun and shadow, day and night, tears and smiles. We need to accept it as a whole and never be attached with its just one aspect.
You are right pain of losing a loved one is better felt by those who unfortunately have gone through this sad plight. Just reading about how how you lost your two loved ones I went back to 2012 when I lost my mother and still could not have changed my cell phone with which I used to talk with her. Still my mother’s cell number is safe in it and I don’t think I will ever replace it with any new brand.
It is good to see before the new year comes you already brought wonderful change to your blog and obviously a lot of things will also change in time to come.
This is our power of hope which makes us optimist and keep us engaged to deliver and forget the sorrows of past, enjoy the happiness of present and ready to hug the more happiness of future.
Thanks a lot for sharing a very touchy post that is full of every feeling of life.
Mi Muba invites you to read..5 easy steps to start an infographics business thru your blog
Hi Mi,
I can so relate to you about your cell phone story in relation to your mother.
When I had my cat Sophie, beside being my adorable child, she was also the last living present being in my life between me and my mother, because my mother had known her. So when Sophie left I lost that too. I lost that last link and then I felt the real loneliness.
As for Sophie. I used to take her outside like a doggy, so she had a harness and a very long leash. Well, that harness and leash are still hanging at the same spot it did the whole time I had her in this apartment. I can’t take it away, and I won’t until I leave here. Same thing with her last cans of food. Can move them, can’t throw them. They will stay there until I move.
Thank you so much for coming, and for relating that experience with me and the readers of this blog.
Hi Sylviane,
Yep, changes are definitely headed your way young lady and I think if anyone is in need of some that would be you.
Since we are friends and I’ve been there with you along the way, I know how hard of a time this has been for you. First the diagnosis of Sophie and our prayers and research begin. Then the news about your Mom and then Sophie finally crossing over. I can’t even imagine going through one loss let alone two in the same year.
You are so strong even though it was so difficult. The grieving process is something we all have to do on our own and in our own time.
To me though this is why you are such a great coach. You’ve had your own issues to deal with from your past. You’ve learned, you’ve grown and you can help others do the same. I means that’s who people would prefer to learn from right! Not just someone who took a course but never experienced any of the hardships that brought them to this place.
I know that it’s been such a rough year for you and you’ll continue to grieve. But you’re planning your future and it’s very bright. I can’t wait to watch how it all unfolds and I hope to come visit you while you’re in Europe. That will be so cool.
Thanks for sharing what’s in store and I hope you’re having a great week. Take care and talk to you tomorrow.
~Adrienne
Adrienne invites you to read..What Do Offline Relationships Have To Do With Blogging
Hi Adrienne,
Indeed, if anyone knows about all the details of how things went down, it’s you. And I will always be so grateful for all the prayers you sent mine and Sophie’s way. I think of this often, and I thank you even though you can’t hear me 🙂
I think that the fact that I went through so much in my life, as whole, not even only this year, is what will make me someone that can really help people out there. I’ve went through things that would make anyone tough, and able to encourage others.
Yes, I do need a break. I need to get out of here! And yes, it would be wonderful if you could come see me in Europe. Now that would be great, and I’m really going to visualize this thing happening 🙂 And pray about it too.
Thank you so much for sharing your insights, and you have a good one too, Adrienne.
Hi Syvliane,
I can understand exactly what you went through and have been through with many Army soldiers and their families back when I was an Army Chaplain.
As hard as it has been, you have an incredibly bright and hopeful future. I will be excited to follow your journey through Italy and read your book when it comes out.
While it’s been a rough year, I hope you take some time to see the joys that were there throughout as well. Even in our darkest moments there are rays of light.
You are a kind, thoughtful and caring person and in our short time together on Skype I could see your joy and hope.
Here is to an awesome 2015!!!!!
~ Don Purdum
Don Purdum invites you to read..The Overlooked Side of Content Marketing and 3 Ways to Really Gain Exposure
Hi Don,
Thank you for your kind words.
I remember you telling me that you were an Army Chaplain, and I’m sure you are very familiar with the pain related to loss of a loved one.
Yes, there’re always rays of lights even when things are dark, and yes I could see them. God didn’t let me down 🙂
I’m looking forward to a brighter future and changes that I need so much.
I’m glad you’re one of the awesome new people I met this year, and hope to learn more from you in 2015.
Thanks for coming 🙂
Hello Ms. Sylviane
Thank you so much for sharing parts of you with us.
I can relate to both of your losses.
First I lost my first pet and then I lost another one.
After the lost of two pets, I then experienced the lost of two brothers, my mom and then my father. Yes I totally agree, when someone loses both parents, the orphan feeling over takes us.
But the wonderful thing about your story, is the courage you have within.
Seasons come and seasons go. Your days of sunshine
are waiting for your arrival. I love you and care, so I will continue to pray for you.
Oh I love your new website. Isn’t Mr. Kumar awesome?
Take care
Gladys
Gladys invites you to read..Behind Close Doors What Do You Think about Yourself?
Hi Gladys,
Thank you so much for your kind words, and I’m sure you can relate to my losses as you’ve been through the same thing and some.
Yes, Kumar’s been great in helping me and working with me to try to make this site the best it could be.
As I mentioned in the post, the home page will even look better over time as the pictures of the post will all be of the same size, which wasn’t the case in the past on the other platforms.
I’ll come over to see you later today. The last couple times I went to your blog my comment wouldn’t go through, but I hope this issue is over now.
Love you to, dear, and take care :
Sylviane,
First off, the site looks beautiful!
Secondly, I feel like you and I have so much in common. This year I lost my job, my grandmother, and my own beloved cat, Lola.
As strange as this may sound, the thing that hit me the most was losing Lola. I still cannot think about it without crying. For 12 years she was my best friend, sleeping in my arm like a teddy bear every night. And then suddenly I had to make the decision to end her life. My whole system went into shock.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to travel, because it kept me from sinking into the dark place.
I think that going through those things and being able to allow yourself to experience the grief without losing yourself in the darkness is what makes you a really great coach.
I look forward to getting to know you better in 2015! 🙂
Mandie
Mandie Sanders invites you to read..Finding Yourself on the Wrong Road in the Right Direction
Wow, Mandie!
How cool it is to find a kindred spirit!
I know what you mean, dear. Because, as I said, I had already lost my mother few years ago, and because her demise was expected, what hit me the most was losing Sophie, and I can’t think of her without cry either. Not yet, and not until now. She was my world for year. Like you, my whole system went into shock too, that’s why I couldn’t even get drunk 😉
I’m so sorry for your losses, and I hope you are on the road to recovery. One of my daily affirmations is “I am attracting only the right people into my life.” and since I’ve made this affirmation a daily thing, I’ve met some great people, so I’m sure this wasn’t a coincidence.
recently I’ve also met Jaime Buckley which I know you know well. Man, this guy is a character. I really like his personality. He’s funny and he’s like an energy pill 🙂 He has also become someone that I will go visit each week now.
I wish you all the best for 2015, and I’m so glad we met. Thanks for coming by.
Hi Sylviane,
I know how tough losses can be…and one feels so bad, yet helpless when we have to go through that phase.
I guess having lost my Mom taught me a great deal, and I feel so bad for your loss too. You mentioned about Sophie and then your mom…it was just one after the other for you, which can make things worse. But they say time is a healer and with each day, things get better – but the memories always remain…they do for me still. But I remember her fondly and miss her to no end.
I am sure with a brand new blog and great start to the coming year, everything is going to work in your favor, so wishing you the best with it too. Thanks for sharing this with us. 🙂
Harleena Singh invites you to read..Why Our Ideas About Happiness Are Backwards
Hi Harleena,
I know that you know all about losing a mother. I still remember very clearly your post about your mother, which is a post of yours that I read when I had recently met you.
Of course, even if time heals, it doesn’t ever erase the memory, and that’s a good thing. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you for your kind words, and have a wonderful day and end of the year 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
I know you had a difficult year and I’m glad to see you’re back and ready to fight another day. Sounds like you have some exciting plans for 2015 – a book, a trip to Europe! I bet you’ll have plenty to talk about. I like your new look here, by the way. And hopefully my comments will go through now 🙂 I wish you the best of luck and hope 2015 treats you well. I look forward to hearing your stories!
Carol Lynn invites you to read..Designer Aaron Wood On Building A Social Media Empire With Posters, Propaganda And Popularity
Hi Carol,
It’s certainly nice to have you here, and yes comments should be no problem now.
Yes, this years has been a grieving one for sure, and I had to pick the pieces back, but I’m glad that I am a strong person overall and able to move on as much as possible.
My trip should be an extended one. I need this now. My department is very lonely at this time, I need to get out of here.
Thank you so much for coming. I haven’t been at your place in a while.
Hi Sylvianne,
So sorry for your loss and indeed it is a turning point for you. I didn’t know about your mom though, I only knew about Sophie. So sorry for you loss and my condolences.
I felt sorry as I was reading your post but at the same time I trust that you are now a stronger person after all what you have gone through this year. Indeed, there is always a glimpse of hope even in our darkest moments and I am glad you are stronger and not crushed by the experience and thank GOD for personal development which indeed help a lot in circumstances as such.
I wish you a blessed year 2015 and I hope all your dreams come true as you already have great plans for it.
Thanks Sylviane for sharing your story with us and I wish you an wonderful weekend ahead.
Be Blessed,
Neamat
Neamat Tawadrous invites you to read..How Extra Large EGO Can Affect Your Leadership Effectiveness!!
Hi Neamat,
Yes, both my mom and Sophie have gone this year. Usually good or bad things rarely come alone. What’s interesting, though, is that I am now seeing lots of good things coming my way.
I remember back in my early personal development days, one of my coaches said that when success is about to come, it’s often preceded by some very challenging times. I can totally see that now. He was so right.
Thank you so much for coming, and have a wonderful weekend.
All the best for the coming new years as well.
Hi Sylviane,
I remember the losses you had this year and how difficult it was to go through them. As an animal lover myself, I know very well the pain of loosing your wonderful Sophie. She was a special cat, walking around on a harness outside with you and a better friend could not be found. I remember like it was yesterday when we chatted on the phone and how things came to pass. But she and your mom will live in your heart forever.
Now..on a happier note: Something did change within you my dear. Your new blog is one of the things that reflects that. That decision you made is the best!
I know you will love being in Rome. I was there once for only 10 days and didn’t want to leave. There is some kind of “magic” in the air and I know you will find that.
Looks like 2015 is the year of opportunity for you and my thoughts and prayers are with you to achieve happiness, health and prosperity.
Thanks for keeping us posted.
-Donna
donna merrill invites you to read..How Bloggers Gain Authority
Hi Donna,
Yes, do I remember that day too. That day when I communicated with you about Sophie, you were right on. You knew it wasn’t her day to go, and it was just a month before she did pass away.
for sure, my mom and my kid pets will always be with me forever.
I’ve been to Italy 3 times in my life, and only passed by Rome, don’t remember anything, so it will be a discovery for me. So much history I want to bath in right now at this point in my life. I hope you’ll be able to come see me while I’m there. That would be great!
By the way, I know you know that David spoke with me last night and the ideas he gave me were great. I took note and will definitely act up on it right away. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with Kumar to discus a pop-up I want to integrate into my site, so that conversation with David last night was key before that meeting.
As I said last night, I’m attracting all the right people to me right now!!!
Thanks for coming and sharing, Donna.
Hi Sylviane,
I love your new, fresh looking website.
But I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing your mom and dear child is a deep pain. I feel your pain. I lost my dad to cancer in 2000, plus my ex husband (suicide) and 2 week old grandson. Also, one of my best friends and my ex fiance died this year. I’ve had more than my fair share of losses. But like you said, it’s not just about getting, it’s about losing.
Prayer helped heal my pain. But the pain is always there. I just try not to dwell on their memories too much or the tears flow. Even talking about them can set me off.
I admire your strength and I’m glad you have a coping mechanism. That’s good. It’s also good to get away and clear your head, reflect and think about what next…
I see you’re still with the Hairdresser’s Eyes. I hope that’s going well. I’m editor of a new bridal and wedding magazine (for women of colour) which was launched today. Exciting!! But lots of hard work.
Have a fantastic weekend Sylviane. 🙂
June invites you to read..Exclusive Wedding Dresses by Kosibah for brides over 35
Hi June,
So sorry you’ve lost so many people, that’s why I said that life (for all of us) is also about losing. My mother lost her mother, father and husband in 3 years. One each year, one after the other. She had to be strong because she had two small children to raise. 5 and 2 years old. That’s why we need to be strong, or else.
For sure, the pain stays with us, forever, it quiets down with time, but it doesn’t go away.
Yes, I’m still with Hairdressers for now, because I can put the articles in my portfolio as fresh links. You’re not anymore?
Thank you so much for coming.
Hi Sylviane:
How are you?
I came upon your blog and found this post very interesting, more so because I am new to blogging. I have just started my website and I have so many things to learn online. I am sure that as I keep coming to visit your blog on a regular basis I will definitely learn so much that will help me succeed online.
Great post. Great blog.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards.
Hi Vikki,
I’m glad you landed here and that you liked the blog.
Hope to see you here again. Nice meeting you.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for the warm welcome Sylviane. Will keep regularly visiting your blog.
Regards.
Hi Sylviane,
I remember all of this. It was a hard year for you and I know how it is to lose multiple people/animals that we love.
It is hard when I lost my dad a couple of years go, and it was hard when I lost my mom years ago, similar to yours, my mom didn’t even know me then.
I didn’t have self-development to get me through those times and it certainly would have been easier if I had even known about it. Thank God you had this as I’m sure it strengthens you.
I know friendship and love can get us through. I’m so glad you’re in a better place and change can always be good as we also grow.
God bless and much success and happiness to you.
Lov ya,
Barbara
Barbara Charles invites you to read..Adrienne Smith’s Build A Blog Community
Hi Barbara,
That’s funny, when I saw you here, in my comment section, I thought that you were here because of my today’s post, and then I realized that you’re on that other post. The reason I’m saying that is that you are featured on the other post.
Yes, that dam year has been a tough one. I still have burst of tears just about everyday. I miss my child, I loved her so much. And I still have a very hard time even believing my mom is no longer alive.
Losing loved ones is not easy.
I remember very well when you wrote about your father’s passing. I even remember that he was a year older than my mother, because I’m weird like that 🙂 I’m a date recorder 🙂
Thank you for coming by, and happy holidays.
Hi Sylviane
Your message is touching and I want to commend you for being very much in control.
Life is full of challenges and sometimes it can overwhelm us but the good news is that we can overcome every situation which is what you have done.
I know how you feel becos I lost someone that was more than a brother. So I say to you to be strong. Have a wonderful week.
ikechi invites you to read..Ask Yourself…Am I Where I Want To Be?
Hi Ikechi,
Yes, it’s hard to lose someone, one of the most difficult things in life, as a matter of fact, and that’s when we need to be strong.
Thank you for you kind words and for coming here 🙂
Hi Sylviane,
I appreciate reading about the personal experiences over the past year.
I lost the sister closest to me in age this past year. Losing a family member definitely leaves a huge void and I feel for your loss. My furry friend is my husky. He’s my constant companion and I can’t imagine he won’t always be right here. You’ve had a tough year.
Looking over my own 2014, I believe it’s redefined what I believe helpful content is. I’m hoping it helps me relate more to my readers as individuals, and elevates my content beyond their “marketing” issues.
Cole
Cole Wiebe invites you to read..How Do I Turn Blog Posts Into Leads? (Part 1)
Hi Cole,
Wow, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s been a tough year for you too.
My cats were like my kids, having no human ones, anyways. I still cry over them, as I thank God for having been their mom. They were so precious to me, I can’t even explain.
By the way, did you know you were mentioned here few weeks ago along with another 41 great bloggers?
Thanks for coming and happy New Year!
Great post. We have to accept all our successes and losses. From all of this we can learn and be a better person in 2015 and the next years that will came.
Jess and Brandon invites you to read..Bran Castle, Romania