How To Find Direction And Purpose In Life

It is not enough to walk in a straight line and follow the crowd. The question is, Are you facing the right direction? Mohamed Tohami

Do you know where you are going?  Do you have a purpose in life? Are you facing the right direction? If your answer to those questions is no, I would advise you to do your very best to start finding it out.  Unless you’re just fine the way you are.  If you feel that something is missing, however, then you may want to take advantage of the information on this post.

How many times I wished I had a real goal in life when I was younger.  This is one of the main reasons I became motivated to teach others to do just that, so they don’t have to wake up one day, later in life, still not knowing what is it that they are supposed to do with their life.

Is Just Living Enough?

It’s not enough to put a tool in someone’s hand. If you don’t know what that tool is for or how to use it, it will be useless to you. As motivational speaker and writer, Mohamed Tohami said, it’s not enough to walk in a straight line and follow the crowd. The question is, “are you facing the right direction”?  Because if you don’t, it doesn’t matter what type of opportunities you will come across in your life, you most likely will blow them all.  I wasted years of my life because I had no sense of direction what so ever.  So, in this post we are going to analyze why a lot of people are seriously lacking direction and what you can do to fix it if it’s your case.

Why do Most People Lack Direction and Purpose? 

The main reason why many people lack direction it’s because they were never taught, that’s as simple as that.  Either they were never given the tools or they didn’t know how to use them.

Let me give you an illustration to help you understand my point here.  What is the difference between someone growing up speaking a language and someone learning such language in school in a foreign country? It’s the manner it’s taught.  When you grow up learning a language in its native country, you learn everything about it. You learn the proper language, the slang, the expressions, the figurative speech, and even the “bad” words.  This is what really makes a whole language. If you can speak and understand it all, that makes you fluent in such language. If you don’t, well that makes you what people like to put on their resume, “intermediate”.  What makes us intermediate in a language is what we learn in school where we don’t learn slang, figurative speech, bad words or many expressions.  The result is that if you find yourself among natives of that language you won’t understand much.  Your intermediate level will not be enough to do so.

This is exactly what happens to a lot of us with learning about our direction in life. We are at an “intermediate” level, because we don’t hang out with the experts. We’ve learned only in school and from our not so well informed parents, tutors or teachers.  This is the story of most of us.  Because we grew up knowing very little about having or developing a purpose in life, we are just “average”, and this means that you need help to find our purpose.

Spend Time with People who are Already There

You need to spend some time with people who are fluent in personal development and higher purpose to become fluent yourself.

If the term life purpose or “your purpose” was never even used and much less understood when you grew up, you probably were taught to just follow the crowds, go to school, get a job, get married, have children, etc.  You know the drill.  If you parents didn’t know about having a specific purpose in life, they most likely didn’t know where you could learn such thing either.  They might have told you to walk in a straight line, but they never told you to check if you were facing the right direction.

In other words, for us to be able to know that early on in life, it has to be shown to us.  Some people call this programming. Like a computer can’t do what it has not been programmed to do. as children we are literally programmed by those who care for us and raise us.  That’s why as children we can easily be brought up or brought down.

What we’ve been programmed with has a lot to do with what our parents were programmed with by their own parents, and so forth and so on.  You can’t teach someone, something you don’t know.  If no one around you ever had a “purpose” in life or taught you how to find it, most likely you didn’t have one. This is why most people out there don’t have a purpose in life.

Finding your Direction and Purpose in Life

Feelings of emptiness is a good thing. Why I am saying that feeling empty is a good thing? Because it tells you that something is missing and forces you to seek for it.

If you don’t have a direction or a purpose, but somehow don’t even feel that something is missing, you will never go look for it.  And most likely, you won’t find what  you’re not looking for.

You will spend a life time in that paralyzing hot water without ever attempting to jump out.  I know many people who have lived their whole life just like that.

So, use that feeling of emptiness, that hunger for something better to find what your purpose is.  If you want to activate your search you can use mediation and self improvement tools.

Another thing you should do is read a lot of personal development materials.  The most successful people l know read at least ten pages of personal development materials a day.  Very soon I am going to start posting a personal development video (made by me) every week, so you will have your written and visual doze of personal development each and every week, right here on this blog.

So, your turn now. What did you do or what are you doing to find your direction and purpose in life?  Do tell us…
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27 Comments

  • Carol LynnTwitter: carollynnrivera says:

    I love it: “You won’t find what you’re not looking for.” I’m going to put that on a post-it note on my desk! Even if you have a purpose it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget what it is or forget to keep aiming for it. Then our purpose just becomes “pay bills” and “get that job done”. How sad!

    I can’t believe YOU wasted any time in your life. I mean, look at how much you’ve done – from theater to writing and everything in between. Maybe you didn’t quite know what you wanted but I think all those things helped you get where you are. And they’re what give you the insights you have today. So I guess if you wasted time then I’m glad because it brought you here where you have great advice and ideas to share with everyone!

    I love the way you bring things to life – calling us “intermediate” if we don’t have a strong purpose. It’s true but I never thought of it that way.

    I have to say my purpose changes depending on my mood. Hm. I wonder if I’m intermediate or just schizo 🙂 I have a few things I think of as my purpose so when I’m not doing so great at working towards one, then I work towards another. Helps keep me from getting discouraged because sometimes things aren’t so great and sometimes I get off track. But I know there are reasons and I pull out one of those reasons and remember to make it real.

    As always, your insights are fascinating and give me something to think about.
    Carol Lynn invites you to read..5 Questions With Peter Demaree: Custom Tees Plus Personal Service Equals Very Happy CustomersMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      What great comments you always leave here. First, thank you for all your kind words 🙂 that is something on one ever gets tried of.

      Wow, you like my quote, that’s great! I don’t know if anyone said that before, but I didn’t take it from anyone for sure 🙂

      You see, when I write this type of post I think a lot about my family, and when I say “you can’t find what you’re not looking for” I see my mother. She had a tough life, no doubt, but she never look away and beyond to see if there was anything more, better… She just accepted things as they were presented to her.

      I love my mother more than anyone on earth but it’s seeing her life that made me what to search and look for things, because I didn’t want to have her type of life. I just wish that some of the things I know that I did when I was 20, but I just didn’t.

  • AdrienneTwitter: adriennesmith40 says:

    Oh good one Sylviane and I agree with Carol.

    It’s hard to even think that you ever struggled with this because of all the things you’ve done already in your life. You even moved to the US which is a huge step in itself so it would seem that you definitely know what you wanted out of life.

    I do know that things change but so far mine has remained the same. I think it will always be a part of my purpose in life but it might expand over the years, or at least I hope so.

    I know that one of yours is helping us to understand things like this. Oh yeah, that’s your purpose Sylviane.

    Intermediate, yep I’m probably still there.

    Hope you’re enjoying your day!

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne invites you to read..What To Do When You Are Not In The MoodMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Oh Adrienne, you have a lot of leadership in you. No one that doesn’t know where is going and doesn’t have what it takes can build the type of following that you have going on.

      Well, in my case, it’s not so much that I didn’t know what I wanted it’s that I didn’t know how to get it (or attract it) If I did I would have never left acting, because I really loved that sucker 🙂

      However, helping people has really become my passion now.

      Thank you for coming, Adrienne 🙂

  • Gen says:

    I love this post Sylviane and you are so very right. Everything I learned about personal development I learned on my own. I never did feel comfortable with the options and choices that my parents and grandparents put before me. Get a good education, go to school, get married and have kids. NO that was not the plan that I saw in my head and I always did things differently and my own way.

    Now I am so glad I did. I still got the education, but it was on my terms and what I wanted to learn. I married the man I was supposed to be with because I have always followed destiny. And I now have three very unique and wonderful children. Yep think following destiny and listening to the little voice is just about the greatest thing.

    Oh and I have always looked for ways to work on my personal development even when I did not know that is what it was. Just knew I was not meant to follow others dreams, but my own.

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Gen,

      I can relate with a lot of what you are talking about. I too was always the one thinking different in my family and I knew there had to be something better for me out there than living the same boring life generation after generation.

      Thank you for your input on this post.

  • Sue PriceTwitter: suejprice says:

    Hi Sylviane
    I am with Adrienne and Carol you have accomplished so much in your life I would have thought you had not wasted a moment.
    I have changed my direction and how I saw my purpose a few times now. I have found that for me I had to go with the not knowing and “nothingness” to re-energize if that makes sense. My natural tendency when I was younger was to push and make myself come up with something. I don’t do that anymore. Being still and listening to my inner knowing works much better.
    A great post Sylviane

    Sue
    Sue Price invites you to read..Work from Home – eBayMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Sue,

      Well, believe me I still did waist lots of time, but I am not focusing on this because there nothing one can do with the past but learn from it and do better.

      I agree, Sue, being still and listening is the best way to move forward in life, forcing thing never works for the best. Thank you for your input on that.

  • Joy says:

    This is such an inspiring read. I completely agree that long before we became adults, we were molded by our parents and our loved ones to become who we are today. Thanks!

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      I’m glad you could relate to the post, Joy.

      The only thing is if you don’t like how you’ve be molded you have the power to change it 🙂 That is the beauty of the free will, isn’t it?

  • Kristine says:

    This is one of the most remarkable posts I’ve ever read, this has the potential to be life-changing given that we are all constantly looking for the right direction for us. Thanks for this great share.

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Thank for the compliment, Kristine and I hope you’ll come back to read more post just like this one 🙂

  • Stacy says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    What an enjoyable read! I like your point that most people are not taught to to find their purpose. That is so true! We spend years going to school to learn skills to be a good little worker but not to find our real dreams. Self education in personal development is a gift that we give to ourselves.

    I’ve recently rediscovered a dream that I’ve had for a long time: to write a novel. I’m getting close to finishing the first draft and what an exciting ride! It feels amazing to be pursuing a dream and I find that it helps my entire outlook on life. For a long time I was searching for something to do for myself and nothing really appealed to me until I decided to start writing fiction again.

    Stacy

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Ah stacy, I certainly know about your upcoming book and even though I do not know you very well yet, I was talking about you to a friend of mince who has recently published a book as well.

      It feel so good when one finally does what he or she has been burring for so long. I had buried my personal development career for 10 years until it came all back to me back 2006. That is one of the reasons I speak about wasting my time in this post. But I am making up as we speak 🙂

  • Ilka Flood says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    You, a time waster, no way. That’s really hard to believe considering all you have accomplished in your young life. It would take most people a lifetime to do that.

    I really enjoyed your post. I think it all boils down to that from a young age we are told to “follow” and we are put into some kind of mold in school. We are not taught to think for ourselves. Therefore it is very hard for many people to find out what their real purpose in life is.

    Ilka

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Ilka,

      How interesting that most of the people who commented so far are not seeing me as a time waster 🙂 It’s very flattering, but as I was telling Stacy right before, I’ve wasted 10 years of my life burring my dreams of being a life coach and while I can’t make those years come around again, I am doing my best to make up for it.

      Thanks for your input, Ilka 🙂

  • Donna MerrillTwitter: donna_tribe says:

    Hi Sylviane,
    “Are You Facing the Right Direction?” That has been just written down on a post-it on my computer screen. I resonate with that because sometimes, it gets overwhelming running your own business. I know that I do try to stay focused on one thing at a time. I try to finish a project. But there are other factors in life that I need to do also.

    Am I facing the right direction? Hmm. This is given me so much to think about. I wasn’t taught to be who I am today. In fact, I was taught the opposite. But by self help articles, and books, therapy and so on, I had to teach myself my direction.

    I believe it is an ever growing process. And one that I need to be reminded of on a daily basis so I don’t get overwhelmed. I’m using this quote for my mantra for the next 30 days!

    Thanks so much,
    Donna
    Donna Merrill invites you to read..My 100th Blog PartyMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Donna,

      Yes, this is a great quote isn’t it? I based the whole post on it because when I read it a flow of thoughts came to my mind, and I had to write a post about this topic.

      Wow, I’m glad that it inspired you to be your next 30 day mantra! Even though the quote is not mine, but I am glad I was the vehicle to bring it up to your vicinity.

  • MayuraTwitter: MayuraDeSilva says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    Wow… Things changed here 🙂 Love new look dear. I couldn’t catch up last few weeks here though I stop by on your personal blog, but will go through.

    Well, I’ve been following crowd until last year 🙂 Now am not? No… No… But I’m trying to go out from my comfort zone. Following is really easy thing as I just need to wait for someone to initiate and see what’s next. But initiating is not easy though we thought so. I had no idea what I’m gonna do next. Went to school, learnt ’em and finished exams.

    But as I start to think about myself and what I’ve done myself, I start to see that on some aspects I was just following others. Lack of confidence in ’em. That’s where I started to think more of it and start my own journey. I don’t think that I haven’t been taught, but I didn’t take ’em seriously. Now I get why we need purpose for our lives and I’ve felt kind of emptiness in me when I start to think about my achievements. We need to be realistic and good qualities itself isn’t help us live our life.

    Another one good reason I start thinking like that is, I’m surrounded with experts and people who are working on their success with much enthusiasm. It’s always helping me out. Now I have defined my milestones and goals. Further digging on it 🙂 But I’m on a challenge with myself with the risk involved in it as I’m taking different action towards my life with type of different goals rather than go find a job after studies.

    Nice to hear that there’s videos to come in next weeks 🙂 Can’t wait for ’em. Personally, love videos 😉

    Have a great weekend dear 🙂

    Cheers…
    Mayura invites you to read..How to Set Up Your Blogger Blog with a Custom Domain on GoDaddyMy Profile

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Ah Mayura, you sure caught the videos promise, didn’t you? Yes, I will be posting videos starting in the near future, because I know that people love, and sometimes videos are well a propos depending on what you want to bring about.

      Thanks for you input on this post, Mayura 🙂

  • Oliver Tausend says:

    Hi Sylviane,

    living goes beyond existing. We weren’t taught this neither in school nor by our parents. When we wanted more, we were told to be grateful for what we have although wanting more doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re not grateful. They might have told us, as a glimpse of hope, to get good grades and a good job. Our job was our purpose…oh, how short-sighted. I love to put it that way: Do you work to live or do you live to work ? As far as I am concerned, my purpose was determined by living to work and I chose my working environments accordingly. When I started changing this, my life started disintegrating (especially my financial life) because I stopped defining myself as a workaholic.

    I wouldn’t become too obsessed about finding our purpose though. It can become a struggle too. Chances are we are already in our purpose.

    Thanks for sharing your insights.

    Take care

    Oliver

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Oliver,

      You are right, most of us were never taught the difference between surviving and really living. The huge reason for this is that many, many people just survive from generation after generation and they believe that it’s living. They believe that there is nothing more to life. Sad but true.

  • Mona says:

    Finding the right direction in one’s life means for me to find the inner peace, the peace of mind. It is the most important base for any success, you cannot reach your goals without finding an inner balance…

    • Sylviane Nuccio says:

      Hi Mona, that is very true. I know many people who are lacking this huge factor, they have not found their peace of mind yet.

      Thanks for your input.

  • igor Griffiths says:

    Well Hello Sylviane

    I spent most of my life trying to do it my way, ignoring all those who pointed out the works of the great positive and motivational practitioners, destined from an early age to never dream but just to follow the opportunities that came my way and never to consider or create a vision for my life.

    Now at 41 and recently divorced from a lady I should never have married but did so because it was the easy option. I am now slowly creating a plan for my life, I look forward to your forthcoming personal development material.

    igor Griffiths

  • Felicia says:

    I agree with what you said in your post, all of us are programmed that the route we have to take in life is to go to school, get a job, get married, have a family, etc. – this is the norm but our parents are doing it based on what their own parents did for them and so on.
    Well, for me finding the right direction and purpose in life can be anything that you want, as long as it makes you genuinely happy.

  • Emilia says:

    Rightly said-Finding our purpose and direction in life entails a great deal of dedication and perseverance. Goal-setting is an aspect of living that we must all learn to practice, when we aspire for specific things we become even more motivated to work our way to the top and make a difference along the way. Thanks for the inspiring share!

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