There is nothing worse than a misleading belief.
Why?
Because a misleading belief is very strong and will usually hold you back.
Why?
Because we don’t just have beliefs we are our beliefs. They are part of us. They are part of our DNA.
NOTE: limited beliefs, false beliefs and misleading beliefs are one and the same.
Our beliefs are part of our programming, and our programming is what we do without even thinking of it.
If you ever doubted that you’ve been programmed since infancy, just think for a minute…
At one time you usually eat?
Do you smoke?
Are you a free spirit?
Do you usually tell what you think?
Are you rather stiff with not much sense of humor?
Do you have plenty of sense of humor?
Are you acting young for age?
Are you acting old for our age?
Are you someone saying I can’t learn a foreign language or are you someone saying I’ll speak Italian in less than 3 months?
Are you overweight?
Are you skinny?
Are you (fill the blank)?
All of that and many more factors that make us who we are, and make us be, do or say are bases on some type of programmed beliefs.
Many of such beliefs are embedded like a tattoo under our skin. No matter what we do, and no matter how old we get they will still be there.
Good Old Programmed Beliefs are not all Bad
That’s right, not all our beliefs are bad. Some are actually very good.
For example, one old forever entrenched programmed belief that’s been with me since I was a little girl is that, you don’t eat between meals.
Why do I personally have such belief?
Well, two main reasons (that have nothing to do with me, as most beliefs we have):
- I’m from France, and the French culture as a whole, is not big on snacks. In France, we just don’t eat snacks. We eat at meal time. Period.
- My mother was totally against eating between meals, and even though she would never have physically prevented her kids to eat something between meals, she would always say; no, don’t eat now, it will spoil your appetite for dinner time.
So as you see, I grew up in a culture where eating between meals is something we “don’t believe in,” thus to this day, I don’t believe in it either, even after 20 years of living in the US.
Even though I spent the 30 first years or so of my life having no idea that THIS is a programmed belief that I have, I certainly know now that it is.
Now, could I “deprogram” such belief if I wanted to?
Yes, I most certainly could.
It just happens that in this particular case, I do NOT want to get rid of this very convenient belief that will forever prevent me to get fat (smile).
Because of that programming of mine, I’m very reasonable when it comes to food.
I always have, and always will be. That the strength of a belief!
Thank you programming.
Because of it, my weight has been the same since I was 20 years old. And I’m way older now (more smile).
Why am I telling you all that?
Well, not to give you the size of my waist to be sure, but to show you how programmed beliefs work on you, and how helpful or destructive they can be. Depending on the belief.
You see, you need to understand how your beliefs affect your life.
If you are not too crazy about your life as it is right now, you should be able to look closely at what type of beliefs you are still clinging on, and decide if they are serving you or not.
You should be able to go through all the beliefs that you have and analyze them one by one carefully, and keep the ones that are serving you, and get rid of the ones that are preventing you to move forward in life.
Do you need help with that?
Here is a List of Common Misleading Beliefs that Hold you Back
1 – I Have to Work Hard to become Successful
This is one of the most erroneous belief out there, but also one of the most common.
Unfortunately, one of the reasons why this is the case, is that so called success coaches teach that you have to work hard to become successful.
Well, if that were true I would have grown up among some of the most successful people on the planet. And may be so would you.
This belief is simply a misleading belief. A false belief.
To become successful you have to work smart and understand the fundamental laws of the universe, and work with them.
Working hard is not, by any mean, the most important factor for becoming successful.
Some of the most successful people have never worked hard a day in their life. And some have noticed that the day they removed such belief from their mind is the day they started attracting MORE success and everything they ever wanted.
In my own case, I’ve noticed that I was able to accomplish as much as I used to by working twice as less.
2 – The Harder I Work, the More Money I’ll Make
This belief goes hand in hand with the previous one. It’s a totally misleading belief that doesn’t hold any truth.
If working 12 hours a day will get you a bigger paycheck than if you worked 8 hours, then sure, working harder, longer hours, will make you more money right?
But of course, we’re not talking about that here, do we?
The harder you work, the lower you usually are on the food chain, so to speak.
Working hard is NOT the key to make more money. Working smart is.
The more you’ll learn how to exchange value for money, instead of time, the more money you will make. Working hard has nothing to do with this.
3 – I’m Stuck in my Current Situation
I know some situations can be scary and overwhelming.
Believe me if I tell you that I do.
But I learned something during the past 10 years or so of my life. I learned that we don’t ever have to be stuck in our current situation.
If you don’t like the situation you are in right now, try to find a way to get out of it.
- Job
- Bad relationship
- Suffocating entourage
Anything, you may feel you’re stuck in, is most and foremost in your own head.
It’s a programmed belief.
You almost always have a choice to stay in or leave any situation.
I know a lot of people are held by invisible chains.
I know some of such people who are totally unhappy, but are exactly like those elephants who have been trained to stay put with a chain around one of their feet, as babies.
By the time they’re adult the physical chain can be removed, because a much stronger one is now restraining them. The chain that’s in their mind.
Take some time and analyze if you have such invisible chains restraining you.
4- Something is Out to Get me
Nothing is out to get you, but yourself.
This type of belief often comes from religion, society, family and so forth.
This is a very common belief that I see on a daily basis.
I’ve seen it and experience it myself too.
Just remember that no one owns you, and you don’t have to be scared of them either.
Get in tuned with you own destiny.
Connect with who you really are.
Explore, challenge and expend yourself, and such beliefs will subside more and more until it’s gone.
5- I Need to Wait for the Right Time to Start
The right time to do something is when you feel like doing it.
Tomorrow may or may not come.
That imaginary right time that you are waiting for, doesn’t exist, but in your own imagination.
If you have a dream, or a goal, start NOW with what you have.
Don’t wait for tomorrow, next week, or next year to start.
People who are waiting for the “right time” to start something are usually full of excuses why they CAN’T.
How about starting with a list of what you CAN do instead?
Do you need help to get rid of your misleading, and limited beliefs? Contact me!
Please, leave your comments below and share!
Thank you for writing this article! I’ve learned so much! And I agree with everything that you’ve said. It all makes sense.. I’m in the process of realizing and getting rid of my limiting beliefs, and having a better understanding of where I’m at and where I want to be helps.
Thanks again for sharing 🙂
Hi Diana,
Welcome to my blog. I am glad that you could resonate with this article, and if you’ve learned from it, then that’s wonderful.
Thank you for coming and have a wonderful day!
Hi Sylviane,
For goodness sake! You wrote about one of my favorite subjects.
The stories others told us over and we tell ourselves over and over are powerful whether they are true or a lie.
The stories shape our worldview and how we feel about ourselves and others.
Your the things we say to ourselves you referenced are spot on. In addition, there are the programs and stories our parents taught us that inform our behavior and choices:
– I’m not smart enough
– I’m not good enough
– I’m able to…
– You’re worthless
– You’ll never amount to anything]
– You’re not pretty enough
On and on it goes. But these foundational ones we get from our parents are zingers that will turn into other false stories that hold us back and keep us from fulfilling our dreams and passions and purposes.
It doesn’t have to be so if we choose otherwise!!!!
Fantastic post Sylviane!!!
~ Don Purdum
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Hi Don,
I’m so glad this is one of your favorite topics. It sure is one of mine too, because since I’ve learned the amount of stuff that we carry with us, our whole life, since we were just a toddler has always amazed me.
Most of that stuff comes directly from our parents, and after that the society we grew up in. Some is good and a lot is trash 🙂 That’s why so many people need to take medicine for many of their issues, psychosomatic, and others.
Of course, that’s why so many people think that they’re not good enough. Gosh I know so many of those. It makes me both sad and mad at times 🙂
It’s hard enough when you’ve got parents who tell you good things about you, I can only imagine when they don’t 🙁 Or should I say, I’ve seen what it does in people, and that’s usually not pretty.
But either way, as I like to say, most of us weren’t raised by Napoleon Hill, so our parents have made some mistakes. Not purposely, but because of ignorance. So, it’s good to go back and clean up our thinking. Analyze our tape recorder and erase what we don’t like. I’ve done lots of that these past 8 years.
I’m glad you enjoyed this one, and thanks for coming, Don.
Hi Sylviane,
This post strikes right to the point. Yesterday my colleague and she is 46 yo said she needs to loose weight between 7-10kg and she is about 60kg and almost the perfect weight, as far as I can tell. I told her she doesn’t need at all to loose weight but maybe to consider visiting psychiatrist 🙂 because she gave me none reasonable cause. Maybe middle age crisis?
What can I say really fantastic post Sylviane and thanks for sharing it (maybe I’ll give it to read my colleague who knows it might help).
~ Dragan
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Hi Dragan,
Oh, boy, you comment made me laugh 🙂
Well, I haven’t seen your friend, but maybe even though she looks fine, she may not feel fine, and knows that she would feel better with less weight on her. That’s kind of a touchy subject.
Now, if you’re already very skinny, and still feel that you’re too fat, then that could by a case for a psychiatrist indeed.
I’m glad you enjoyed this post and thank you for coming.
Hi Sylviane
This post is so awesome.
You really hit a nerve. I agree with the whole post. Some beliefs are programmed without us being conscious of them. I loved the five misleading beliefs because they are so common and so important.
I remember when I used to believe that success is about working hard, I soon learned the hard way that it is about working. Making money really is not based on how long you work hard. I know a friend that makes money with less hours.
Oh In my country No 4 point is so popular, if you don’t succeed, it is because somebody or something is out to get you. Hmm it hard for people to grasp that no one can make you who you are unless you give them the permission to do so.
The last point is the best. I agree that there is no right time to start anything. We just need to start now. Thanks for sharing. Have a lovely week. .
ikechi invites you to read..The Most Common Excuses We Make to Avoid Working on Ourselves
Hi Ikechi,
I’m glad you read this post, and appreciated those points here.
Most people on the planet still believe that working hard is related to success and money, but that is totally false. It’s just that they don’t understand the laws of the universe in which they live.
The more oppressed a country is, the more people feel that someone is out to get them, and that they are not the owner of their own lives. Sad, but true.
The best time to start something is now.
Thank you so much for coming.
Hi Sylviane,
Indeed, limiting beliefs can hold us back! We all have those “belief systems” within us. Some, like you mentioned are good ones..like not eating in between meals. That one and things like that one does not want to change. They are certain belief systems that are engrained in us that do benefit us.
But when it comes to negative ones…it is time to face it and change it because it does us no good at all.
I would think that most of us have the believe system that working hard will get us to be successful. I don’t believe so. Rather working smart will! If we are of the mindset of working hard and putting in 12 hours a day, we can get stuck and overwhelmed. That will get us nowhere. When we work smartly, we do it in intervals, giving ourselves time for a break, taking care of ourselves (which I do believe is important) and so many other things we choose to do.
Your points on #3, 4 and 5 seem to be great excuses for not moving forward. I have not experienced them myself, but I do meet others that have that mindset. Phew! That is when I like to tell them STOP. And explain to them, with that mindset, you are NOT going to get anywhere. Seek Help! And then I give them referrals to those – like you – who can help them overcome this obstacle.
They could take it or leave it, but in the end, if they decide to hold on to it, what can we do but wish them well and send them on their way.
-Donna
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Hi Donna,
Indeed, one can only change as much as they want to.
I am in regular contact with some people who are simply not ready to change, and for those, there’s nothing we can no. Not a coach, not anyone 🙂 I can’t help feeling sorry for them though, and thank God for not having such a close mind.
I thank the Universe every day for having an open mind that allowed me to discover and change so, so much. I wouldn’t have it any different. I know you can be thankful too 🙂
Thank you for your input and have a restful weekend.
Hi Sylviane,
I couldn’t agree more, that’s very true many of the beliefs that are programmed in us are just misleading.
I struggled with a misleading belief that I can’t lose weight at the age of 40. Well, I gained so much weight since I started my business online because I sit long hours and I wish I had that belief of yours not to snack in between meals. lol. Anyhow, I tried so many diets to lose the weight but to no avail and this made me believe that it is true that we can’t lose the weight when we hit the 40 and I was telling that to all my friends who are 40 and above: “Don’t even try because you will not lose it at that age”.
Oh boy that was one misleading belief restraining me until I reached a point, it was very hard for me to walk from the weight which was putting so much pressure on my knees. I had to take a stand and do something about it and I tried to change the belief I had. I joined the GYM and watched what I ate and in only 2 short months, I have lost weight and it was very clear when I try my clothes and whoever saw me was telling me, how did you lose that much weight so fast. What I want to say here is that you are absolutely right, we have the control to change our beliefs by telling ourselves otherwise because what we tell ourselves is what we believe.
Sorry, if that was long but I wanted to share my story because your article so much resonated with me.
Thanks Sylviane for sharing such a powerful and important topic. Enjoy the rest of your week.
Be Blessed,
Neamat
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Hi Neamat,
Oh, no, don’t ever apologize for giving a beautiful experience in your comment. That was great and really helps to understand what I’m saying here.
Gosh, I am so glad you’ve managed to get that off your brain that you can’t lose weight after 40. We can lose weight at any age, even after 80 🙂 It’s all in the mind.
Worse than that, I used to have some friends who had the belief that your whole body and metabolism starts changing at 30, and actually their stupid beliefs were acting on their body. When I was telling them that I felt the exact same at 30 than I did at 20, they looked at me like I was from Mars. But I wasn’t lying. It was true for me, because I didn’t have such ridiculous beliefs.
And still don’t after 40 LOL! Never have, never will.
Always visualize and feel yourself at the weight you want to be, eat healthy and smart, and you are bound to lose weight my dear friend.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Sylviane,
Great topic!
I’m more of a ‘jump head first into anything’ kind of girl, but I hear so many of my friends use the excuse “I’m not ready” and it drives me crazy. If you wait until you fell 100% ready, you’ll never do anything.
Although the ones you listed aren’t ones I’m currently battling, I definitely have my own deeply entrenched misleading beliefs that sometimes get the better of me.
– I’m not good enough (smart enough, talented enough, etc…)
– I don’t have anything worthwhile to offer
– If I can’t do it better than everyone else, I shouldn’t do it at all
I’m not sure where those came from, as they certainly didn’t come from my parents, who are awesome and supportive!
Then again, people-pleasing perfectionism does tend to be a first-child trait, so maybe I can blame them after all. JK!
– Mandie
Hi Mandie,
Gosh we have so much in common. But I knew that already 🙂
Like you I’m a do it now kind of gal, that’s how I ended in the US. I made the decision to move and actually did it in 3 months. If I had asked myself if I were ready, I would have never done it.
I also have these exact same 3 LOL!
– I’m not good enough (smart enough, talented enough, etc…)
– I don’t have anything worthwhile to offer
– If I can’t do it better than everyone else
And like you my mother was the most supportive mother always telling me how smart, beautiful, and so on I was 🙂 I can only imagine if she didn’t.
In my case, what did me in is school. So, even if your parents were good in the encouragement department there might have been other factors.
Thank you so much for coming and for your wonderful input.
What a really spot on post Sylviane!
Those beliefs are like tiny weights that help keep us anchored in the stormy sea of doubt!
And without the right guidance or instruction, we will never swim to shore of possibilities!
Thanks for really shining some much needed light on a far too frequently ignored subject!
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Hi Mark,
“Without the right guidance or instruction, we will never swim to shore of possibilities.” How beautifully said, and I can’t agree more. This problem is the very reason why so many people never get to shore and spend a life of “I wish I had.”
My goal as a coach is to help people that way, as much as I can.
Thank you so much for your feedback, and for coming.
Hi Sylviane,
Ohhhh I’m so on board with this! Social conditioning can have a lot to answer for! Just like you, just like so many people, I grew up with the ideas that ‘you can’t do this’, ‘you must do that’, ‘this is the way things are done’ and so forth. The thing is: who says?
These kind of limiting beliefs insidiously embed themselves in our subconscious and can end up crippling us.
I got to a point in my life where I started to question pretty much everything. Not for the sake of being rebellious or awkward, but simply because I was realising that a lot of these things that are ‘not possible’ are simply down to choice. By extension, once we realise that then we can choose how we live our lives rather than simply going along on autopilot or, as I like to call it, “living life on rails”.
Thanks for the great post as always, Sylviane!
»Glenn«
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Hi Glenn,
I totally agree with what you’re saying as I pretty much questioned everything I was taught as well. And that since I was a child. I was a bit rebellions that way, but not in a mean way tough.
As you’re saying, who says?
I think that if we want to grow as a person, and as people, we need to question things.
Thanks so much for coming and for your wonderful input.
Hi Sylviane,
What a great post. I grew up thinking I had to work hard to be successful. I think it was just handed down from generation to generation since my grandparents came to the U.S. from Mexico.
My main struggle is number 5. I’m always putting off a project because I think it’s not the right time or I go back to the product to take one more look at it. I’m working on this one :).
Thanks for putting this together. I could totally relate! I hope it’s been a great week. Happy Friday and have a wonderful weekend.
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Hi Corina,
I think most people grew up with the belief that we have to work hard, hard, hard. As I like to mention and remind to my client is to look at nature. Nature doesn’t work hard to make things happen, it just does what it does in the flow, naturally. When we learn how to put ourselves more in alignment with the Universe, we realize that we don’t have to work as hard to get where we want.
I’m glad you enjoyed this post, and working on your weakest points.
Thank you for coming and you have a wonderful weekend as well.
Hi , Sylviane,
What a wonderful blog! I love every bit about.
I particularly like how you talk about working hard to make money. I guess I do not have to convince others that in today’s internet and global age, there is absolutely no need to work 6 or even 7 days a week, 9-5 or even more to get wealthy!
Online marketing, eBay, network marketing, affiliate marketing and many others are just a handful of ways.
Great work, Sylviane!
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Hi Viola,
Long time no see, but it’s nice to see you here today.
So very true. With the internet nowadays it’s even easier to make money while working very little, especially once everything has been set up and the money kind of comes as a residual income. Some folks have become millionaires because of the internet.
Nowadays you can create those digital products, set a sales page and wait for the money to come in.
Thanks for coming and for your input. I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
Hi Sylviane.
A topic that I can relate to; programmed beliefs. I moved from the middle of the UK to the North of the UK when I was 13. The accents are wildly different across the UK, and I was bullied over my Central accent for years.
That has stayed with me forever, because deep down I believe I have a really bad accent that has incorporated central and northern accent into one. I’m not as bad now at 32, but you are right; it’s still there, under my skin, and in certain social situations it all comes flooding back to me.
In your list of 5, I have always been taught that I must work long and hard to prosper. Actually, this is something I wanted to rid myself of long ago. I saw my mom work really, really hard, she didn’t prosper and died young.
For me, it’s all about enjoying life – do something you love, to quote the late, great Steve Jobs. Money has the ability to hold many of us back, but money really isn’t everything and realy shouldn’t hold us back in the perfect world.
Sharing now, thank Sylviane.
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Hi Richard,
I can’t relate with the marks that bullying left you. I have been bullied myself in school many years. Kids can be the most stupid and cruel beings. I understand how it would still affect you, but I hope you’ll be able to get totally rid of it.
Isn’t it funny how those small countries (compare to the US) can have tons of accents? It’s the same in France. Each region has one, really. I still have my “accent Lyonnais” when I speak French, even though I lived in two other regions later on. I know the UK is the same way 🙂
I could say the same thing about my mother. She has always worked like a dog, but never became rich. We were OK, but if hard work paid, she would have turn into a millionaire to be sure 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this with me and my readers.
These 5 beliefs you have mentioned is right and there are many persons who just don’t start new things because of these beliefs that they have no time to work hard.
Good post and it is well timed too.
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Hi Atish,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks 🙂
Ciao, Sylviane,
What an awesome topic and your observations and teachings are really helpful, so thanks for sharing!
Your experience of being fed beliefs that were not the best for you can probably be echoed by everyone reading your post. I’ve had it happen to me. We do carry that stuff, and it becomes our own thinking and belief system until we recognize that it’s damaging and do something about it.
You’re an awesome example, Sylviane, that’s for sure. 🙂
Yes, we can lie to ourselves and make excuses to not move forward to grow – to not leave our comfort zones, which is a type of self-sabotage.
I’ve put much more of a focus on having the right mindset in the last few years, but didn’t in the beginning of my business. When I did, things improved immediately, and it was amazing at how everything heightened – wow, so very important.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge in this area, I appreciate it. Letting my friends know…
Have a great weekend.
˜Carol
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Hi Carol,
I’m so glad you appreciated this topic.
It’s seems that more people have started to become more and more aware of these things, especially within the past 10-20 years. Before that, very few people were even scratching the surface of positive thinking and all these things. Thankfully that’s more common these days, and it has changed the lives of many, including you and me 🙂
A belief is just that. It can go. We can change it. I love to know that now!
Thank you so much for your input and for coming.
There is not right time to start, Sylviane.
The right time is NOW!
I believe that taking action is the first step toward achieving success in any field.
There is plenty of time “later”, to improve anything.
I always have been a positive person.
There is big difference in seeing the glass empty or full.
I think that in the long run, a positive karma gives you back great successes.
Thanks for sharing this post, Sylviane.
I hope you had a great beginning of this week! 🙂
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Hi Erik,
I am glad that you’ve always been a positive person, because that makes a heck of a difference in someone’s life if you are.
I have not always been that way, to tell you the truth, and I had to learn how to be positive. It was a process, but that’s also why I can better help and understand people I coach, in a way.
Thank you so much for your input, and have a wonderful day!
Boy did I love love love this post. Very inspiring and right to the point when it comes to we really do create our so many of our outcomes based on our beliefs and actions. I wish I had grown up without eating snacks. LOL Like you said though, I can deprogram my thoughts and beliefs. I am going to work on that one.
I am working smarter these days versus working so hard. I had to make that choice when my health and lifestyle changed over the last few years. Now, I am all about being wise with my time and actions. Thanks for giving me a smile tonight Sylviane. Loved it.
Have a great week.
Irish
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Hi Irish, and welcome to my blog.
Well, I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
It’s so good that you became aware of the things you needed to change in your life and the inside work you needed to keep doing so your life would be easier.
Thank you so much for coming and for letting me know that this article made you smile.
Have a wonderful day!
Hi Sylviane,
Its pretty interesting to be reminded of these limiting and misleading beliefs. I have been guilty of number 5 and I thank you for reminding me “That imaginary right time that you are waiting for, doesn’t exist, but in your own imagination”.
Our belief is surely our reality. I guess its important to make the most of the practicality of the now!
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