The decisions you are making everyday are impacting your life, either in a positive or negative way. This is the case of both the small as well as the big decisions that you are making.
So, in this post we are going to analyze how much decision making is influencing your life into being what it is today, and how you can make better choices in your decision making in order to change your results and gravitating towards the life that you want.
The truth of the matter is that if you are unhappy with your life right now, it has almost everything to do with the type of decisions that you are making. Changing such decision will obviously change your results.
The Power of Decision Making
Decision making has a snowball effect. Each decision that you are making will have a chain events attached to it. That’s what makes decision making very, very important. The small decisions that you are making, such as what to wear or what movie to watch won’t of course have much impact on your life of course. However, some seemingly small decisions you are making may turn out to be not small at all in the end.
What happened with people addicted to drugs or any other substance? They made that seemingly small decision to try it once. What the heck, just once! However, is that seemingly small decision that led to a craving. Then, they made another decision which was to give in to such craving. Such decision led to addiction.
This is only an example; there are many “small” decisions which have huge impact in people’s lives every day.
Personal development mentor and business man, Garry Robert, explains in his book The Millionaire Mindset that he comes from a family that was affected by heavy drinking, therefore, he made the conscious decision NOT to drink. Ever. He mentioned that for him it’s very easy to refuse an invitation to have a glass of bear on a hot summer day. Why is it easy? Because, he made the decision, ahead of time, NOT to drink, no matter what. Period.
This decision has protected him from falling into his background pattern of heavy drinking.
Everything is about decision making. So, where do you stand in this area? How is your decision making doing? Do you tend to make good decisions or bad decisions? The results that you are reaping should give you the answer to these questions.
Not Making any Decision at All
Not making any decision at all is also decision making. It’s making the decision not to “move forward”. Staying in a status-quo is a decision. Such decision may be self-imposed by fear or other issues, and this means that you need to watch your thoughts and see what is preventing you from making decisions to improve your life.
Sometimes, we can also take too long to make a decision and a great opportunity maybe passing us by because of it. This fall into the same category as not making decision at all. Missing the bus because you got to the bus stop to late is the same thing as never getting to the bus stop at all.
Letting Other People to Make a Decision for you
This is a very big one and I know all the effects of it personally, since one very important decision I made 10 ago was based on listening to someone else telling me what to do.
10 years ago I was faced with the decision to go back home to France or stay in the United States. My own decision was to go back home. I had just got divorced and didn’t really have any friends and no family here. My only family was my two cats, and I was ready to pack them up with me and fly them to France (no way I would leave my kitties behind).
So, I had made my decision, I was mentally prepared already, and I was preparing myself physically as well to get my stuff and pets ready to fly over sees.
Don’t ask me why, this will be one of the biggest mysteries of my life, but my brother convinced me that I should stay in the US, and I let him make that decision for me.
Does the fact that I “changed” my decision based on someone else had an impact on MY life? You bet it did! More than I would ever care to tell on this post. While I am OK now, making the decision to stay brought me a lot of pains and sufferings over the falling years. To some extent, to this day, I am still paying the price today of that decision made for me by my brother 10 years ago.
Do Not Let Anyone Make Decisions for You
If you let anyone make a decision for you, you will be the one paying for the consequences of such decision, not them. No one should ever let anyone else make a decision for them. 9 times out of 10 it will be a mistake. I hope that with my own example you can fully appreciate what letting someone else influence your decision can have on your life.
I’ve learned it the hard way, and I would never let anyone make a decision for me anymore. It’s always better to deal with the consequences of your own decision than dealing with the fact that you made such decision because of someone else’s influence. If you do, you are going to beat yourself up quite a few times for having been so blind and not seeing that such decision was never yours to start with, but it became yours when you made the decision to accept someone else’s.
So, what are your thoughts? Is decision making easy to do for you? Is it hard? Please, let us know in the comment area!
I totally agree with you Sylviane, You are the one who is responsible for making your own decisions in life 🙂
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Hi Julie,
Yes, indeed. If we are for some reasons too weak maybe, and let our decisions being influenced by others, we have only us to blame. However, it does happen.
Hi Sylviane,
everything you say is very true. I moved to Australia with my husband a few years back and it was my decision to do so. Would I have listened to all the people telling me how wrong this move was I would not live the wonderful life I live now. It was not always easy but it was my choice therefore I was more than happy to live with the consequences – all of them. Just recently I changed jobs – again against all odds & other people’s opinions & in this economic climate. well again I now have a job I truely love, it was given to me for taking the plunge & following my heart. I know excactly what you mean Sylviane 🙂
Hi Ulli,
Yes, I am sure you know what I mean, because you have your own proofs for it. Thanks for passing by my blog. Hope you enjoyed it and I hope to see you again soon 🙂
Sylviane, aloha. Yes, decision making is crucial to how we live our lives. And I was so glad you covered the fact that choosing not to decide is also a decision. In my opinion, a decision by default is the very worst!
Something else that I feel is important for people to remember is that they can change their decisions or alter the course of the direction. The important thing in making a decision is to make it and then take action to implement it. If, after you do that, you realize it is not the right decision for you, adjust it. If you can’t change it that much at the time, change your attitude to something that works for you rather than focusing on the regret in the decision.
For me decision making is easy because I know that I can always alter it if it is not the right decision. Therefore, I decide and start moving forward. As things unfold, I can see where adjustments need to be made.
Great handling of a very imoortant topic, Sylviane. Hope life in the US is getting ever better.
Wishing you a week filled with peace, joy and abundance in all that matters to you. Until next time, aloha. Janet
Hi Janet,
Thanks for you very rich comment full of goodies 🙂 Yes, a decision can always be adjusted as we go. I think that a lot of people think that when they make a decision, that’s it, they will be stuck with it for ever.
Sometimes it’s also true that once a decision made it’s hard to back up, but it’s mostly because of some kind of weakness.
This happened to me when my brother told me to stay in the US. I think that the reason why I felt stuck in my decision to stay was that I didn’t feel welcome to go back home and I didn’t want to be a financial burden to my family in case I didn’t find work soon.
Because of all that, once I made the decision to stay, it became almost impossible to change it. But I know now that it was fear. I know better now, but back then, I just didn’t. That’s why I love to teach what I know now 🙂
Thanks for passing by, Janet. Always a pleasure to have you here!
Loved the post Sylviane!
I think most of us would relate to it as we all have sometime or the other made decisions that we later felt bad about or regretted making. Sometimes we are just drawn by what other people tell us, and at other times even when we may know that the decision needs to be taken by us, still we permit others to take it for us- just as was in your case with your brother.
I think decisions should be taken with a great deal of thought, though without much delays. But yes, sometimes where there are family decisions to be made, you do need to give things a deeper thought and those at times are the toughest ones too.
Not taking any decision at all is not correct too, but I have often seen people remain neutral and let others do the decision taking part. I guess they haven’t learn about decision making when they were younger, or something in their lives happened and they became like this. But yes, that;s their own personal choice.
I totally agree with you that your decisions are yours alone, and no one should be allowed to take them for you. Yes, you can and should seek advice or suggestions from others who matter to you, but the final decision should always be yours.
Thanks so much for sharing and a wonderful reminder as well. 🙂
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Hi Harleena,
I am so glad that you like the post and that it prompted you to write such a nice and valuable comment.
Yes, decisions should be taken with a lot of thoughts and fast at the same time. When I make a decision the thought is usually brewing in for a while and then I make a decision fast.
As I was telling Janet, above, the reason why I let my brother make such a huge decision that affected my own life was fear. Fear, of not finding work and be a burden to my family, was a biggy. At that time I certainly didn’t know anything about internet marketing and work in France was tough to find.
Negative emotions, such as fear, can affect your decision making.
Thanks for coming here, again, Harleena, and have a great day!
Great topic to share Sylviane and I think we all can relate to this one. Ah, letting others make those decisions for you.
Like your big move back to France, I had a pretty big one earlier in my life as well. If you can believe it, it was my marriage. My wedding day came and everything went wrong. The flower arrangements were wrong, the cake was wrong, my maid of honor showed up in the wrong dress, the best man wore the wrong shoes, all signs that I should not marry this man. I cried for an hour and when it was time to walk down the isle I didn’t want to go. My best friend’s Mom convinced me to go and that I was just nervous. Nervous wasn’t anywhere in that mixture of emotions. I KNEW I shouldn’t go through with it but she made me feel guilty because all of my relatives had come from out of town to watch me. I should have listen to my gut because that marriage ended up being a nightmare for me.
From that day forward I never let anyone make a decision for me ever again. I would live with the consequences of my actions and no one else. You can always change your mind or the road that you’re on but just let it be your decision and no one elses.
Thanks for sharing Sylviane…
~Adrienne
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Oh my God Adrienne, it’s incredible. It’s like the whole universe was screaming NO, don’t do it!
As I was reading your comment since I am a “visual” person I was seeing the whole scene in my mind’s eyes.
That’s incredible how even though we know deep inside that we shouldn’t do something we do it because someone else has decided in their incredible ignorance to tell us what to do. I’m, sorry this woman told you to do something she had no business with.
When I listened to my brother 10 years ago, I paid a dear price for it. A lot of thing when wrong, a LOT and basically the reason he is not talking to me today is also related to the fact that I stayed.
Like you, I will NEVER again let someone else make a big decision for me. The hell with that 🙂
you are right Sylviane
its sometimes better to take a wrong decision than not to take any decision at all
glad i came across your post today
Hi Farouk,
Thanks for passing by. Yes, it’s better to make a decision that we have to change than not making any decision at all.