Women are amazing beings!
We love, we nurture, we help, we understand, we heal, we create, and we forgive.
We are all those things, and yet, we are the most oppressed category of humans. Yes, humanity made a giant step forward regarding women rights in the last 100 years, but still, there are issues to be solved. One of these matters is personal safety and self-determination.
Here are five ways to feel safer as a woman:
1- Expand your Support System
The survivor these days is not the most physically fit person, but the one who know how to collaborate, how you gather around themselves trusted friends and family, how to use their abilities and strengths to make themselves indispensable, appreciated, wanted, and loved.
Some vital benefits of building a personal support network:
- A safe place to fall
- Learning new skills
- Getting positive and useful feedback
- Having people that can intervene for you (as a middle person)
- Being inspired and motivated
2- Improve your Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can cause you to feel unsafe and lonely. It makes you believe that you don’t deserve to be valued and appreciated; as a consequence, you might allow people to disregard your rights and take advantage of you.
You are born to like and value who you are. Do you know that most people believe they are above average? That’s how much we like ourselves! Low self-esteem is unnatural, you are not born with it, but you learn from others how to see yourself in an unfavorable light rather than listening to your inner voice and instinct.
As a woman, self-esteem is even more important because the expectations from you are greater. You are expected to be a good mother, chemist, phycologist, a great chef, no ordinary house cleaner, driver, exemplary employee and many other things. Ah! Let’s not forget the “cookie” which I believed to be listening to your partner, only to find out to be something entirely different (the biblical duty).
3- Invest Time and Money in Prevention
You can take self-defense classes to boost your confidence and awareness. However, don’t rely too much on your Kung Fu skills because real life is somewhat different from beating up equal sized people at the gym.
Pay less attention to the news (they are exaggerated) and read statistics; educate yourself about what is going on in your neighborhood and town.
Listen to your intuition: if you feel that something is not right, that you are in any danger: Believe it! Don’t wait to find out.
Did you know that most women that have been raped on the street said: “I felt something wasn’t right about this person (the aggressor) the minute I saw him, but I didn’t want to be rude or offensive and run away?”
I was on the bus one day, and I saw a girl, no more than ten years old, alone and looking sad out the window. A man was sitting next to her. The girl seemed uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. I stood very close to them, observing.
The man was drunk, mumbling something to himself, sizing up the child. I was about to ask him to move away when the bus stopped, and he jumped out the door dragging the girl with him. My heart stopped; I was petrified for the child, so I followed them shouting at the man to let go of her.
The girl looked at me puzzled. I took her hand and asked: “Do you know this man?” “He is my father” she whispered embarrassed.
Everyone was looking at me like I was nuts but I didn’t care, I was happy to be wrong!
You should never be afraid to follow your instinct when it comes to your safety – worst case scenario, you offend someone, best case scenario you get happily home to your family.
4- Attract Positive People in your Life
Did you notice that women are saying: “all men or pigs” have you married one of those individuals?
If you believe that most men are good people, guess what? You find those amazing men (and people in general) wherever you go. Your mind is wired to SEE them, to recognize them. You have a radar that tells you: “this is a good person…look another good person…yet, another one!” and when you see a so-called “pig” your radar says: “I don’t know what that creature is, let’s stay away.”
What you believe about people sets the standard and the focus of your awareness. You can’t recognize what you don’t believe that exists. Right?
Search for good people, and you will undoubtedly, find many, many good folks to share your life with passions, interests, ideas, love, and dreams!
Your mind works like an internet search engine. If you type on Google the word “happy”, for example, it will show you hundreds of results about happiness and nothing about sadness and the other way around.
5- Ask for Help
As women, we will always be a bit more vulnerable than men. Let’s face it; we don’t have as much physical power, and we care too much about whatever moves around us. Most times, we care for others to the point that we forget we exist.
Ask for help. Help around the house, with the children, and any other kind of help you might need. Ask for help even when you believe (and you’re right!) that people should do those things because it is their duty without being asked.
Regarding your safety and well-being ask for help your loved ones:
- Introduce your friends/boyfriend/husband to your family – let people know that someone powerful will intervene if they misbehave
- Set up routines and rituals that your friends and relatives know about – for example, calling daily/weekly
- Invite your family and friend into your home as often as possible – don’t allow anyone to isolate you
- Ask for advice/opinion and listen!!!
- Always be where you say you’re going
You are the “keeper” of your husband’s image in front of your family and friends. However, don’t hide away important things, issues, and behaviors that put you in danger. Plus, don’t undermine the authority of your protectors (father, brother, mother, etc.), even if you don’t like them build a strong image in front of others otherwise you end up with a gun and no bullets.
You are the guardian of you:
- Expand your support system and gather around yourself people who love, admire, appreciate, and accept you as you are
- Improve your self-esteem; know who you are and follow your dreams with confidence
- Keep yourself safe
- Attract positive people in your life; fish for what you want to catch
- Ask for help, never suffer in silence!